Search Results: Shannon Boodram
BY SHANNON BOODRAM
Bags packed, mouth agape I stared at the email: come prepared to do your favorite day two hairstyle for camera.
If twenty(five”> + years of life had proven anything to me it was:
- I could murder any word search puzzle within sight
- that the best thing I could for my hair is chop off my hands
Some people have the gift of creation, when it comes to my hair it is very much the opposite. From bad dye jobs, absurd self-cuts and a never-ending desire to cut my own version of botched up bangs, I have come to subscribe to the less is more club when it comes to saving my tresses from me.
So now let’s rewind to March 2013, my very first interaction with Naturally Curly in which I was invited to New York to shoot a vlog for L’Oreal’s new line Ever Curl. Reviews? That I can damn well do. I do know how to palm a fistful of jelly and slap it on my hair like no one’s business so I usually welcome these types of gigs plus my hair is extremely responsive to product so I am in fact a good candidate. But this “day-two style” part…how do I admit to these people who have knighted me as a hair guru that I literally only have two styles mastered: up in a disorganized bun when I don’t care, down when I do.
Tried a twist out – didn’t turn out. Tried a braided fish tail – looked like a deep-fried rat tail. Attempted a pinned updo – looked like a field of doo doo. Honestly your girl could not cornrow if it meant dodging death row. It’s like asking me to golf with my left hand, and I don’t even golf.
So I did what any other style-deficient girl would do and I enlisted the help of bobby pins to make a “tutorial” video fit for someone who just discovered they had hands that same morning. Thank you to the whole team from Naturally Curly for being kind enough to humor me but in actuality I am not the ideal how-to candidate when it comes to beauty. And don’t get me wrong this isn’t for lack of inspiration or effort, it’s genuine skill that is missing, moreover genuine effort to develop my lack of natural skill. I LOVE hair, love talking about, looking at, dissecting the culture of and learning about, hair! I am a proud member of the hair community but I also know my role within it.
This is why I truly get utterly confused when people ask me to do beauty vlogs at all…me? Of all the wonderful, versatile people to learn from out there we really don’t need to be encouraging everyone to stand atop the beauty soap box because as Jay-Z says it ain’t for everybody! *raises hand.
Shannon’s Curly Hair Tutorial
And this brings me to the two points of this article:
- Not everyone who has found beauty in themselves can transfer that over to others. Furthermore it takes more than knowing how to brush your hair to give complicated advice to others. So let’s all collectively stop seeking advice from people who just aren’t experts because luckily we don’t have to look far anymore to find people who are. I see many women reluctantly take on this “beauty guru” role just because enough people ask. Know yourself and know who you are asking advice on yourself.
- Praise to the incredibly talented hair and make-up gurus who dedicate their time trying to help schlubs like me learn a lil something! Though I will fail every time, I love to watch how experimental and talented today’s women are with their hair. You go ladies and gents in drag!
So there it is, for my final article here for NaturallyCurly.com I would like to officially announce that I am not a beauty expert but I would like to highlight those who tried purple then dyed green! Those who can shave half their head or chop it all off knowing they will be okay on the other side. Cheers to you who make braids look like simple math and heat tools transform into magic wands. I salute your style, adore your versatility and above all respect your talents! My favs? NaturallyCurl (obvs”>, Shameless Maya, ItsMyRayeRaye, SunKissAlba, MilaVictoria, NaturallyGG, LuxyHair, da1nonlymixedqt aka Tiffany Darlyn, YNotKeeb, PatriciaBright.
I am totally comfortable with my hypothetical children looking at my small variances in style and look over the decades with thoughts of awe not awesome. I accept the fact that like my mother, I will spend my life preserving the look I love rather than fishing for a new one.
I am not the girl you should follow trying to chase down your own outer beauty – I’d rather pose the questions to analyze the inner. I am that woman who loves the culture and loves to engage in discussion on it! Thank you to NaturallyCurly.com for giving me a platform to do just that, thanks for giving me a forum to be a voice even though I am hardly your typical beauty gal. Most of all thank you to you all for reading and challenging me – I know I didn’t come with any useful tips but hopefully I provided ample food for thought.
This post is dedicated to all my fellow hair-lames who still love being a part of hair communities – I see you with your messy bun!!
How to Look Like Me
“You’re seriously the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” I wrote discounting my own, my mother’s and grandmothers’ beauty all in one line. I slid my fingers down my timeline knowing she wouldn’t comment back – she never does. Oh well I don’t say nice things to be recognized, I say it because I mean it. Fifteen minutes later and I’d seen all I needed to: my woman crush put up a new selfie, my style crush got these amazing new shoes, my hair crush is having another amazing hair day, my hair twin did an up-do that I straight goods can’t do. I put my phone down on my night stand noting that I had spent ten more minutes than I probably should have on my damn device rather than in my damn bathroom getting ready for hella damned school. The bathroom floor is freezing, I wince and flick on the light then catch myself on the sink in horror: my hair is everywhere- my silk scarf must have come off in my sleep again, my skin has broken out on my forehead and I’m not even gonna start on how yesterday’s 10 p.m. binge is now hanging ten all over my waistline. With my nose inches from the mirror I close my eyes and try to pictures those pictures – a life where I could be perfect and the entire world would nod their heads along in agreement.
A few days ago I was at my friend’s house scrolling through her Instagram feed – I don’t know if anybody else does this with their friends but it’s become the equivalent of magazines at the doctor’s office for me – and I realized that 90% of the people she followed were other women, gorgeous women with mostly curly hair at that. I asked her why that was and she said it gave her hair/ beauty inspiration. I thought about that: is it not totally reasonable to immerse yourself in your passion by surrounding yourself with relevant imagery? Or have we surpassed the days of damage done through mass-magazine consumption with our new-age obsession over “everyday” people?
When on my own feed it is not unlikely for me to catch a “I wish I looked like you” comment underneath some beautiful woman’s photo (as yes, I too follow many”> I think I would lean towards the ladder. I also believe what makes idolizing regular people’s imagery so problematic is that we compare them to ourselves with a lot more weight. These individuals did not have a hair and makeup team on hand before they snapped that “good morning, no filter” selfie. Nor did they have a master photographer/ photo retoucher manipulating the imperfections in post (though a lot can be said for a strong window light on a cheap camera coupled with several carefully chosen app edits”>. So if a woman has the same tools as us, same resources, in some cases same hair, then what’s our excuse for not measuring up?
When I was in my formidable years I pretty much bought every Sophisticate’s Black Hair Magazine I could find and through all my consuming I remember this one picture of this woman with perfectly spiraled, non-frizzy curls that I ripped out and put on my mirror – my first hair crush I guess. After giving the instructions in the two-lined write up a go a few more than a few times I improvised on my own. My style sheet? I soaked my hair in gel or mousse then wrapped it around a small barrel like a pencil and blow dried it until it hardened. Of course this process would take forever on thick hair so I just put my hair in a bun and did select pieces around my face so I looked like a house with icicle lights on it.
Eventually I brought that image to my hair dresser and she explained the world of straw set to me and furthermore how my length at the time and texture would not yield the same results. We had a lovely conversation about the difference between admiring others and imitating them. From that day forward I have admired many women’s hair and taken notes but I do my best not to expect to wake up looking like them, since in reality I don’t really even know what they actually look like underneath it all.
So now we go back to the story at the top, a story that I made up but truly believe through my many visits to girl’s groups/ high schools as well as my own observations online, is a common one. This culture of hair crushes, girl crushes, hair twins, etc… may be causing more damage than good. I often think about the women, the ever increasing amount of women, who create entire accounts strictly dedicated to highlighting others’ good hair days – but behind the good intention does that woman love her own beauty? How many of us have the discernment necessary to understand the difference between praising others without putting down ourselves? And if you yourself don’t have a clear answer to that question, perhaps it’s better to turn off that screen and pick up that looking glass.
Written By Shannon T. Boodram
Shannon Boodram is an award-winning TV personality, wedding photographer and writer. You may recognize her from her YouTube channel Those Girls Are Wild. You can catch more of Shannon on YouTube, Twitter or Instagram.
My relationship with beauty, specifically my own, has been a rocky one.
Read that sentence aloud in a room-filled with women and I dare you to spot the person who doesn’t nod or lower her eyes with an Amen. When I was a kid being the only mixed person, seemingly in the world but definitely in my neighborhood gave me considerable doubts as to what I was supposed to look like and if that look was beautiful. I did a lot of DIY things to my hair (without the help of YouTube gurus so please insert the most absurd mental picture here”>. In my teens the only women who looked like me that were considered beautiful were video vixens so I dove into the whole fried orange hair, straightened to a crisp vibe like it was the coolest thing since butterfly clips!
My twenties were a time of great exploration in beauty, in self, in sex – you get the picture. Here is where I discovered the beauty of my dark, curly hair and best of all, I did it with an army by my side! Slowly the curly/ kinky movement had begun to take shape right beneath my coils and for the first time since bad perms went out of style, I began to see women like me wearing their big hair within big roles. It was a revolution, one that if you weren’t apart of may have seemed frivolous but these budding affirmations in my beauty were monuments.
This, to me, is where the kinky/ curly-hair revolution shined bright, during a time when many of us needed to know that it was more than okay – it was fabulous – to feel beautiful in your own hair. With so much pain and alienation associated with the way God made our tresses fall, yes we did need that.
But after a revolution must come normalization not alienation.
We shouldn’t press on with the same steadfast, headstrong approach that was necessary to break that wall for the rest of our days. Because through gaining outward acceptance, acceptance from within should follow suit. Finding your beauty is a wonderful amazing feeling and anyone who is able to attain that, in their own, evolving time is lucky!
This is pretty much why I find issue with the group of people who found their beauty by styling their hair without chemically altering it or adding additional tracks, dubbing themselves as the “natural” ones.
Without taking away from the spirit and historical relevance of the movement, let’s dissect the word – what does it mean to be natural and what historical context has it been used in?
The word natural order is used to justify racism, prejudice and classism by claiming that there is a pre-ordained explanation as to why one group deserves better than the other. The term natural love is used to rob people who aren’t heterosexual of their dignity while following their hearts. And natural selection, essentially gives people the power to play God.
The more I thought about it, the more I saw natural as a way to control, not empower. And then I looked within my own community – the weave shaming, double standards, peer pressure and sometimes straight bullying that went on. And I do believe this sense of entitlement is directly derived from the word, a word which I also believe few can live up to. Once you add color, a particular cut, a mountain of product, damn even a twist-out you are altering your “natural” hair. So why feel so bold as to shame others who choose more overt methods?
As I mentioned I am extremely grateful for the kinky/ curly revolution but I can’t support the natural one. Especially since after understanding my hair I began to experiment to find what worked for me and in the end texturizing my hair every six months and adding 4-6 extensions on days I intend to have a good hair day, became apart of my routine. Every other race who finds their hair to be beautiful and powerful experiments openly with its capabilities without so much as a raised eyebrow so why the heck shouldn’t we all do the same? Love your hair the best way you know how and have love for anyone who has done the same or is on their own journey to doing so.
I don’t believe there is a true natural, no one lives exactly how God intended, we are all just doing the best we can to see that light in our own eyes.
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