Search Results: Keisha Fadeyi
Self care has become a buzz-word in recent years, but many still put it on the back-burner despite the clear need to make it a priority. This becomes especially clear as we leave the enveloping warmth and good feelings that summer brings and move into fall. Fall is a beautiful and transformative time of year, the perfect time to slow down and brace yourself for the winter ahead. The air is crisp but not unbearable. Leaves change from rich greens to shades of mahogany, burnt orange, and golden yellow as they fall and decorate the ground around us. With all of the physical transformations, we see in our environment can often bring questions about our personal well-being, growth and how to end the year strong.
2017 has been especially challenging with the toxic political climate, widespread loss of life and livelihood brought on through numerous natural disasters and yet another mass shooting. In my personal life, I have battled with stress-induced physical ailments, depression, and anxiety and been forced to take a step back and re-evaluate the importance of a strong self-care routine. Like many women juggling family life, work, and side hustles, I have allowed this to become non-existent and was forced to pour from an empty cup. But I have finally found some things to put some pep back in my step and end the year as my best self. Here are 10 creative and practical ways to infuse self-care into your life and finish the year strong!
1″> Evaluate What Works, Make it a Routine
For me, planning is therapeutic and having a routine helps to ease the anxiety that I often carry around with me. Latham Thomas, celebrity doula and “Glow Maven” shares the following gem: “Self-care is about assessing what supports you at the deepest level and honoring those feelings and responding with rituals and making space for yourself to rest and recharge. A strong self-care practice sharpens our discernment and we learn what supports us and what depletes us.” So in order to honor that need, I’ve made it a point to evaluate my routine each week, to buy out that time and ensure that I am getting what I need to recharge. I’ll explain more in the next tips.
2″> Embrace Your Tribe!
One of my favorite ways to recharge is by spending time with my girl-tribe. I’ve neglected this over the past few years, but in recent months I’ve made a point to take the time to embrace my tribe! Whether this was going to Sip-n-Paint with a girlfriend or just spending an hour on the phone pouring my heart out to my big sister, my tribe came through to pull me out of those low moments.
3″> Reflect on Your Accomplishments
Take out some time to make a list of your accomplishments for the past year. Focus on every win you’ve achieved no matter how big or small. Some of my major wins were becoming a contributor for one of my favorite platforms (wink, wink”> and potty-training my son; and one of the smaller ones was cutting back on eating out. Writing down your wins makes them real and can prove to be an effective self-care practice to pull you out of those dark moments that come with the cold weather.
4″> Indulge Yourself Once a Week
This can mean something different to everyone, but it’s all about doing something extraordinary just for you. Go get your nails done, take a long candle-lit bath, or just enjoy that delicious dessert your diet doesn’t allow for. Indulge yourself girl, you deserve it!
5″> Practice Gratitude Daily
CurlyNikki recently shared that she makes a habit of saying thank you out loud to herself throughout the day. She shares that saying thank you when something good happens, something bad or in between, she just practices gratitude for every experience and that helps her maintain an overall more positive outlook.
6″> Revamp Your Wash Day Routine
Recently I changed up my wash day routine to ensure that I take the time to enjoy it. I’ve incorporated a new deep conditioner, Shea Moisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil Masque and make it a point to take my time, gently finger detangle, cleanse and braid my hair in the shower. This simple routine is just what I need at the start of the week to relax me and take the stress out of maintaining my hair for the next days to come.
7″> Rock a Bold Lippie
There are few things that compare to feelings of boldness and fierceness that come with rocking a bright, red lipstick. Bawse Lady by The Lip Bar is my favorite and when I wake up feeling less than my best, I apply this lipstick and instantly feel a mood boost and feel ready to face the day!
8″> Move Your Body
To enhance my self-care routine and also get my project fit mama back on track, I go to Zumba step once a week. However, one of my personal goals is to squeeze in at least 10 minutes of physical activity daily! According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, even five minutes of aerobic exercise can elevate and stabilize moods and decrease overall levels of tension and stress.
9″> Write it Out
Journaling is a tried and true way to release any feelings of anxiety but it’s also a great way to create plans, write affirmations or just dump all of the thoughts out of your mind and on paper. I’ve challenged myself to start writing more and it’s been a major key to my self-care routine.
10″> Communicate Your Feelings
In preparing for the end of this year, making my plans to rock out my business and personal goals and overcome the stress and anxiety that almost put me out of commission this past year, I’ve made it a point to talk openly and honestly with my husband and tribe on a regular basis. Sharing my fears and just having an open dialogue with people who love me helped me see things from a new perspective, but also helped me see that I was not alone or wrong for the feelings I have. It’s also helped me create a solid plan for ending the year strong and keeping the momentum going.
I learned personally that I can no longer just repost cute quotes about self-care and not take it seriously in my own life. My sanity and well-being were dependent on it. So my challenge to you readers is to visit this list and the resources below, find what works for you and prioritize self-care, get creative with it and finish the year strong.
How do you practice self-care? Which one of these listed above is a necessity for you?
When it comes to curly hair care in my house for my 3-year-old son (Cyrus”> and 16-month-old daughter (Nazanin”>, my husband and I opt to keep things as simple as possible to maintain our sanity! While you may think the routines have to be dramatically different, I have found it best to follow the same formula for my son and daughter, making adjustments based on how much hair they have at the time. Here is a breakdown of the regimen that I have created for my children’s curly hair.
Pre-Poo (Nazanin only”>
Every time I plan to shampoo my daughter’s hair I apply oil to her scalp, gently massaging it in and then applying about a quarter size amount to the palm of my hands and coating the length of her hair with it. I allow the oil to sit for about 10-30 minutes depending on the night, making it easier to detangle her hair when washing. Any oil that penetrates the hair follicle is good for pre-poo (Extra Virgin Olive Oil or our oil of choice Righteous Roots Pre-Poo Detangler which has a coconut oil base”>.
Cleansing
I wash both my kids’ hair in the bathtub. My son actually enjoys having his hair washed now and allows me to gently scrub his scalp as I’m washing it! To avoid drying out their hair with the shampoo, I don’t rinse and repeat, I simply do one pass with shampoo and move on to conditioning! We have two cleansing products we use right now, ORS Curlies Unleashed Curl Detangling Shampoo or Shea Moisture 2-n-1 Curl and Shine Shampoo and Conditioner. With the Shea Moisture 2-n-1, I rinse and repeat since it is a shampoo and conditioner combo (also a very moisturizing product”>; this also allows me to skip using a separate rinse out conditioner.
My daughter hates getting water in her eyes so I’ve recently started using a shower hat for her and it has made washing so much easier! It looks like a visor and it prevents the water from getting into her eyes since the water runs straight down the front. If you have a baby or toddler who is fussy when it comes time to wash their hair I would highly recommend this because it makes washing much less stressful!
Conditioning
When using ORS Shampoo I follow up with the ORS Curlies In or Out Conditioner. I apply it to Cyrus’ hair using a circular motion to make his tiny curls pop if he is between haircuts. When his hair is cut low, I apply the conditioner in the same pattern we brush his dry hair to create waves. I only do this once and rinse it about 80 percent of the way since this product can also be used as a leave-in!
For Nazanin, I apply the conditioner to her hair, starting at the ends and then covering the length of her hair. Next, I comb through her hair (while conditioner is still in it”> with the Ouidad Wide Tooth Comb and rinse it out. Depending on her mood, I like to repeat this process, but most of the time she only tolerates one time. If my son had longer hair I would do the same process for his curls!
LCO Method
To maintain moisture in my babies’ hair, I practice the LCO method. If you aren’t familiar with this method it is layering product in this order: Liquid or Leave-In, Cream and Oil. For both Cyrus and Nazanin’s hair I make sure their hair is still wet from the shower (if it gets dry, I re-wet it with a spray bottle”> which serves as the in this method and then apply a cream (“> or butter to their hair. Our favorite cream is Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Kids Curling Butter Cream or ORS Curlies Unleashed Twist and Curl Creme. Finally, I seal with an oil (“>, either JBCO or Righteous Roots Kids Pre-Poo Detangler which serves double duty!
Maintenance
The biggest difference in my children’s hair maintenance is with haircuts. I allowed my husband to take the lead in deciding when to cut my son’s hair. We both agreed to wait until after he turned one and we didn’t feel like he needed a cut until he was about 20 months old. Now we cut his hair about once per month since it doesn’t grow in terribly fast.
My daughter has not had any type of trim or cuts to her hair and I don’t plan to do so until she is around 5 or sooner if I notice any damage to the ends. This is a personal preference, but it seems like the standard in the Black community. I had a conversation with my older sister Meisha, a mother of two girls with beautiful, healthy hair and she started at home trims on their hair around age 4.
Styling
I style my daughter’s hair when we are going to the Kingdom Hall or in our ministry on Wednesday, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. While this may seem like a lot, I keep the styles very simple (i.e. two puffs, high puff, wash-n-go with headband, etc”>. I have attempted to style her hair for the week but she does not keep a bonnet on at night which causes the styles to come loose within a day or so! Cyrus is easy, we simply brush his hair daily before leaving home!
Overall, our routine has been very practical and easy going because my children are still pretty small! That will change over the years, but we are flexible and ready to adapt!
I’d love to hear from you all in the NaturallyCurly community, what are some of your routine staples and do you change it up if you toddlers?
When my daughter was born with a head full of curly hair I was elated! I imagined wash days filled with laughter and smiles, cute hairstyles with multi-colored bows, headbands and curls and basically everything that I imagined when I played “mommy” to my baby dolls as a child. Boy was I mistaken! Now I will preface this by letting you know my daughter is 16 months old so we are very early in our mommy/daughter hair journey, but it has been quite the challenge so far! I have learned one lesson though that has been a major key and made things a little easier: properly detangling my daughter’s hair sets the tone for wash day! It cuts down on the tears and makes wash day a little less stressful on both of us! Here are 3 tips that I have found that have made all the difference for my baby girl and I!
1. Pre-Poo
One of the key steps in my own curly hair wash day process is to do a pre-poo before shampooing my hair. If you are not familiar with this term, it references a process of applying oil and/or conditioner to the hair prior to shampooing and allowing it to sit for at least 30 minutes before washing hair. Now I typically do this on my own hair to avoid the dryness that can come from shampooing, but I found that it also helps with detangling! For my daughter’s hair I use Righteous Roots Oils Pre-Poo: Pre-Wash Detangler, this oil has a base of 100% coconut oil, Extra Virgin Olive Oil, and a host of other amazing ingredients that provide the perfect slip which makes detangling that much easier. It’s made especially for kids so I don’t have to worry about any scalp irritation from using too harsh of a product.
To pre-poo my daughter’s hair I apply the oil directly to her scalp using the twist top of an applicator bottle and gently massage it into her scalp with the pads of my fingers (Tip: be sure not to use your finger nails in this step, this can cause irritation to the scalp and cause discomfort to your little one”>. Scalp massages help to improve blood circulation in the scalp which promotes hair growth in the long run, but it also helps to relax her. Depending on how much hair your toddler has, you may find it easier to part it in sections to have easier access to the scalp. In our case, I don’t section my daughter’s hair off yet because she just doesn’t tolerate it and it’s still easy to access her scalp as her hair isn’t that long or dense yet.
After I’ve applied the oil to her scalp and done a mini-scalp massage, I add more oil directly to the palm of my hands, rub them together and rub it into her hair. It’s important to note I don’t start detangling at this step because it’s much harder to do this while the hair is dry, even with the oil in it! This brings us to the next tip!
2. Detangle saturated hair
I only detangle when her hair is wet and saturated with product. Once she is in the tub, I either use a cup or the detachable shower head to saturate her hair with water and begin the final steps of the detangling process here. The combination of oil and water in her hair allow my fingers or comb to slip right through any tangles! My comb of choice is the Ouidad Double Detangler which I use at least two times each month and the other times I simply finger detangle. I really emphasize doing this part of your detangling process while your child’s hair is soaking wet because it is much more pleasant for them than trying to detangle dry hair, remember our goal here is to achieve tangle-free hair with no tears!
The next step is to use Shea Moisture Coconut and Hibiscus Kids 2-n-1 Curl and Shine Shampoo and Conditioner to cleanse and condition her hair. I run the Double Detangler through her hair one final time while the product is still in it to be sure all tangles are out. I love this 2-n-1 shampoo/conditioner by Shea Moisture because it not only cleans and conditions the hair but it is very slippery making it easier to detangle. I will mention though that no matter what you are using or what process you are following detangling will be a nightmare if you don’t remember my final tip…
3. Be patient and loving
We must remember to be patient with our little ones in the detangling and wash day process. Toddlers are focused on playing and having fun! I have not come across one yet who loves to sit still to have their hair combed out, washed or styled (if you have one that does, kudos to you!!”> This makes it imperative that we remain patient and show them extra love throughout the process. I may sing a song to my daughter while I’m massaging her scalp and talk her through the process just to let her know what I am doing. These things are soothing and make the process more enjoyable for little ones. The most important thing is to avoid creating a negative association in your child’s mind about hair care.
Remember mama curlies, it is up to us to set the tone for healthy hair care and that starts with the detangling process. By taking steps like doing a pre-poo treatment, detangling while hair is wet and coated with products that give great slip, and by creating a loving environment for your little one when it’s time to get those tangles out you will eliminate tangles and cut down tears on wash day!
