Search Results: Emily Neie

Even though curly and natural hair are becoming more “mainstream,” it can still be pretty tough to find the right products in store. I have very fine hair, and finding the products that are formulated to work for hair like mine is almost impossible to do in-store. I shop online for my hair products most of the time, with SHOPNaturallyCurly being one of my faves. But the quest for products for fine haired curlies like me will always live on. So I did a thing and curated a list for us, that will put all of our thick haired sister to shame (I kid, I kid”>. :”>   Here is a list of 20 products you can find that will help you keep your fine, curly hair strong, healthy and beautiful.  

For Cleansing

Carol’s Daughter Rhassoul Clay Shampoo and Conditioner

As I’ve gotten older, my scalp has gotten oilier and more prone to itching. The Rhassoul Clay line from Carol’s Daughter helps absorb oil from my scalp without stripping my hair shaft.

Silicone Shampoo Brush

My stylist used this on me the last time I got a haircut and I am in LOVE. It’s a mini massage for my scalp, and the large, spread out silicone bristles are soft and don’t catch in my fine curly strands.

Ouidad VitaCurl Clear and Gentle Shampoo

I just got balayage highlights in my hair, and I am even more conscious of using products that are too harsh for my fine curls now that my hair is also color treated. This Ouidad shampoo is a very mild clarifying shampoo, using jojoba oil to make sure fine and color treated hair stays strong while giving your scalp a nice, tingly clean feeling.

Apple Cider Vinegar

ACV rinses are a good thing for fine-haired curlies to work into their normal routine. Make your own by combining equal parts vinegar and water and rinsing hair thoroughly before conditioning. It’s a very gentle way to cleanse your scalp and restore pH to delicate strands.

SheaMoisture Fruit Infused Coconut Water Weightless Shampoo and Crème Rinse

I used to never use SheaMoisture products because their original hair milk was way too heavy for my hair, but this duo is made especially with fine-haired folks in mind. It’s weightless, does a good job and smells awesome.

For Styling

Carol’s Daughter Pracaxi Nectar Style Control Gel

This has been my go-to styling gel for the summer months when my scalp is sweatier and oilier than usual. It’s super lightweight, has a nice medium hold that maintains definition without sacrificing volume and smells really good. Warning: it is very water-soluble, which is great for cleansing, but be careful that your hair isn’t too wet when applying.

Miss Jessie’s Jelly Soft Curls

Miss Jessie’s is my holy grail styling product, hands down. It’s the perfect gel: sticky enough to provide hold but not so heavy your hair gets weighed down, with zero crunch.

Kevin Murphy Motion Lotion

If you want to splurge, Kevin Murphy’s Motion Lotion is an excellent way to blow your way through your stockpile of birthday Amazon gift cards. If you want a bit more hold, mix it with a tiny bit of your favorite gel and scrunch.

Mielle Organics Styling Gel Honey and Ginger

If you have 3c fine hair, a little goes a long way with this stuff, which means this big bottle will last you a looooong time!

SheaMoisture Coconut and Hibiscus Frizz-Free Curl Mousse

For airy, lightweight hold, this SheaMoisture mousse is a great choice for fine hair. Plus, it smells like you’re taking a tropical vacation.

For Repairing

Carol’s Daughter Sacred Tiare Restoring Hair Mask

Have you caught on that I love Carol’s Daughter? Hint: it’s because they’re cruelty-free! To make this hair mask work for me, I use it on my dry hair, sit under the dryer for about 10 minutes, and then shampoo it out. Reversing the package instructions ensures that I get the benefits of the repairing ingredients without leaving the heavy oils on my hair.

SheaMoisture Manuka Honey and Mafura Oil Intensive Hydration Treatment

This mask is a heavy-hitter for repairing damage and strengthening fine hair. It will weigh your hair down, so make sure to follow up with lightweight products.

Mielle Organics Mint Almond Oil

In the winter, I like to pre-poo my hair with almond oil. The oil opens up the hair shaft and allows cleansing products to penetrate more deeply while protecting the hair shaft from getting stripped.

Andalou Naturals Argan Oil Plus Deep Conditioner

Argan oil is great for fine curls, because it isn’t as heavy as coconut or shea-based products. This product is inexpensive and a little goes a long way.

Satin Pillowcases

Fine curly hair is especially prone to breakage, and a lot of that breakage happens in your sleep. Swap out your pillowcases for satin ones to keep your hair from rubbing across rough fabric all night.

For Drying

Alligator Hair Clips

My hair always looks best when I can give my fine hair a hand and lift my roots with alligator clips. Personally I prefer to use the cheap plastic clips over the metal clips—metal gets too hot!

Devacurl Devafuser

I know reviews on this have been mixed, but I love it for my fine hair. It dries my roots really quickly without having to blast the weaker, drier parts of my hair with lots of unnecessary heat.

Softhood Hair Dryer Attachment

If you’ve never used on of these before, yes you will feel super silly the first couple of times: but it’s worth it! Your hair dries evenly, and you can use a lower heat setting to dry your hair faster.   Want more articles like this? Sign up for our Naturally Curly newsletter for more!

In May, after reading a NaturallyCurly article talking about the hype surrounding “wash and go’s,” one thing the author said stuck with me: there is really no such thing as a “wash and go.” How many of us actually wash our hair and then just…go somewhere? Even on my laziest days, I at least put in some leave-in or alcohol-free gel before letting my hair air-dry.

I decided to explore what exactly an (almost”> product-free, style-free wash and go would look like on my fine, low-density 3c hair. This is how dedicated I am to curly hair education, y’all: I willingly took some goofy-looking pictures of myself and posted them on the Internet, in the name of curl science.

Immediately After Showering

I showered first thing when I got up to get ready for work like normal, but, instead of putting in product and blow-drying my hair, I just went about my morning. It was pretty awesome to get an extra 30 minutes back. I did some stretches! I drank more coffee! I read a book! Getting back precious morning time might make this worth it, regardless of results…

One Hour In

…or, maybe not. The top layer of my hair started drying much faster than the rest of my hair, since it is frizzier and finer and didn’t have gel locking in moisture. I had a couple of short curls that kept flopping onto my forehead or, worse yet, sticking straight up. My hair takes forever to dry, and I was fighting the urge to touch my hair all morning until it did.

Two Hours In

Things were getting worse and I was not a happy camper. I told my supervisor what I was doing after she saw me sulking in the bathroom trying to take sneaky selfies, mainly so she would know there was a method to my hair madness. Luckily I work in a pretty laid back office, and she thought it was an admirable experiment.

Four Hours In

The bottom layers are finally starting to dry, so my hair has a bit more volume and shape to it. At this point, the urge to touch my hair to rearrange it was overwhelming. I felt like a little kid with chicken pox who needs oven mitts strapped to her hands to avoid scratching.

Six Hours In

Did I mention my hair takes forever to dry? At this point, I was no longer self conscious about walking around the office, even with a curl sticking straight up. My hair was definitely frizzier than usual, especially in the back, but I didn’t look overly disheveled.

Seven Hours In

My hair was fully dry at this point, so I fluffed it out and rearranged it. My curls were definitely looser than usual, and the back was flatter than I like it to be. However, I enjoyed how soft my hair was, and the blond in my hair was more obvious without product in it. I tried to fluff my bangs over my forehead (I usually sweep them to the side at work”>, something I can do relatively easily when my hair is properly styled…big fail.

The Next Day

Now for the moment of truth: second-day hair. I slept with my hair tied up in a silk scarf like usual. I was surprised at how much my curls stretched overnight…the front section of my hair went from 3c to 3a/3b without being purposefully stretched out. I wasn’t especially happy with it but I didn’t hate it, so I didn’t wash again before going to work. After all, what’s the point in saving 30 minutes by skipping product and blow drying one day if I’m just going to wash it again the next day?

Overall, I think this experiment was a moderate success. It was definitely not my best hair day(s”>, but the time and simplicity it added to my morning routine was well worth it. It’s nice to know that I can skip the product and heat styling occasionally if I’m running late, or if I want to give my scalp a break from product build up.

Tips for Going Product-Free

1. My hair was already healthy, and had been cut well. This day would have gone VERY differently if I had tried this with my crunchy, shapeless high school hair, or if it had been a long time since my last cut.

2. I used a thick, creamy conditioner (my current favorite is Camille Rose Jansyn’s Moisture Max Conditioner“> and left a little bit of it in, scrunching my hair to distribute it evenly. The frizz factor would have been even worse without this “lazy leave-in.”

3. My hair type does not need extra protective styling or products to keep it from breaking, tangling badly or drying out, so skipping the product didn’t do any harm. Folks with 4b/4c hair, this may not be for you (although you can always try”>!

Do you think you would experiment with going product-free in public? Or is that a major no-no for your wash and go routine?

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I have never hated having curly hair, but I didn’t always love it. For a large portion of my life, my curls were a source of adolescent frustration and fixation. I worried constantly about frizz and volume, and applied horrifying amounts of crunchy gel and silicone-based serums to keep each curl locked down.

As I got older, I got busier, and keeping up my intense hair routine was not as feasible.

I learned to embrace my hair instead of controlling it, and unlocked a new well of energy and free time to allocate to other life goals and relationships.

And, surprise, surprise—I felt prettier and more stylish than I ever had when my hair was a burden.

Getting older and busier, coupled with a history of mental health issues and disordered eating, also led to weight gain. It led to quite a bit of weight gain, actually: from senior year of high school to now, I have gone up 3 pant sizes. I teeter on that cusp between straight and plus sizes, mainly due to my build and weight distribution, but I am definitely far heavier than I ever imagined I would be. And I’ve finally realized that it’s okay.

The journey to getting right with my body was similar to my journey to curl-acceptance, and I’ve definitely revisited some of the same lessons multiple times. When it comes down to it, accepting my bigger hair and bigger body has come down to three things:

It’s Okay to Take Up Space

Curly hair takes up a lot of room, especially if you have type 3 or 4 hair, a fact I denied for the first 18 years of my life. When I was a teen, I kept my hair long and as slicked down as possible in a desperate attempt to blend in with my straight-haired friends as much as possible. I had internalized social messages about femininity, namely that femininity is small, and delicate, and unobtrusive—none of which described me or my hair.

Guess what? I wasn’t fooling anybody. Just like I’m not fooling anybody when I try to hide my weight gain with loose tops and dark wash jeans. My hair and my body physically take up more room than someone with straight hair and a 5-foot, size 4 frame. No optical illusions or volume-deflating hairstyle will change that. Once I embraced my curl volume and got a short, bouncy cut that can get pretty dang big, I felt so much more at ease about taking up more visual real estate. Which is important, because:

People Will Comment, and It Will Be Weird

I get a lot of comments on my hair, like most curly-haired people probably do. Questions about how I take care of it, do I hate it, do you ever straighten it, what’s your ethnic background, etc. and such. People have used ugly words to describe my hair without intentionally meaning any harm. They have drawn uncomfortably prolonged attention to me because of my hair.

People have also done the same thing with my weight, albeit with far less frequency due to cultural norms and stigma around weight gain. It’s generally been well-intentioned, along the lines of “you wear it well” or “I barely noticed” or “you could probably lose it really easily if you tried.” Regardless how benign the comments are, it is uncomfortable for my body to be the center of attention even for a few moments. But, even though it’s weird and jarring to be reminded how physically “other” I seem to some people, it’s taught me a lot about keeping calm and unbothered. Because life is too short to let clueless people with mixed intentions affect my day for more than a few seconds.

The Way I Look Will Continually Change

Bodies are continually in flux. My body, in particular, responds to any change in environmental stress, especially at work. Our bodies don’t look the same day to day, and they aren’t meant to. Bad hair days and weight gain aren’t always permanent, but sometimes they are. And guess what? That’s okay.

My physical appearance is rarely, if ever, my number one priority. I loved this article from NC Content Editor Devri Velazquez about being “beauty-sick,” because I feel it. Between an intellectually- and creatively-demanding job, side hustles, a long-term partner and our shared home, two pets, a close circle of friends, and sleeping, my hours are well accounted for. Some days I can barely be bothered to wash my hair, let alone put product in it and style it so it looks cute.

Currently, my extra weight is not having a negative impact on my health. It’s not having a negative impact on my relationships, my ability to do my job, my ability to smile and laugh and bring joy to the lives of others—so why would I eat into my precious little free time and energy to focus on it? Losing weight isn’t easy for me: it requires a lot of calorie counting, meal planning, saying “no” to social stuff I want to do and guilt-induced cardio sessions. So, I am consciously choosing not to make it a priority, much in the same way that I have often chosen to not make my hair a priority.

Years of learning to love my hair despite its bad days and despite the time and labor it takes for a good day has taught me to respect the power of prioritization, as well as the impermanence of it.

Things change, just like we can change, and being 100% content with our choices in the moment brings a sense of peace that no number of perfect hair days or size 8 jeans can match.

If there was a gospel for the curly hair care community, it could probably be summed up in one word: moisture. Curly hair is notoriously dry across the curl spectrum, and the problem is exaggerated the tighter and finer curls get. If moisture is the Miss America of curl care, volume is a close runner-up. After all, what’s the fun in having textured hair if you don’t embrace the space it can fill?

Letting my hair be big was really important to my personal hair journey. Another part of my hair journey, however, was understanding how much curly hair could vary in terms of strand thickness, and how much that affected volume. My strands are very fine, weak, and easily-weighed down. I also just don’t have very much hair: it’s “low-density,” in which there aren’t that many strands packed in per square inch. To get healthy, moisturized hair, it’s a lot harder for me to get the big, fluffy, statement hair I like.

Fortunately, my curl education has introduced me to several techniques and products that help me balance moisture and volume.

I wash my hair 3-4 times a week

I know, I know…so many of you probably read that sentence and cringed: “If you want moisture, why would you wash your hair so often?!” For me, this is where the balance between moisture and volume comes in. I have a very oily scalp, but since I can’t easily distribute the oils throughout my hair via brushing (classic curly problem”> it collects on the roots of my hair, weighing down my locks and flattening my curls to my head.  Since my hair is unbelievably fine and not very dense, using dry shampoo or other volumizing products can be pretty damaging.

To prevent stripping my hair shaft of oils, I only use shampoo every other wash, and when I do shampoo I used a very gentle formula: my current favorite is the Cantu Sulfate Free Cleansing Cream Shampoo. I follow up with a lightweight cleansing conditioner, like the RenPure Cleansing Conditioners (the rosemary scent is my everything”> or Carol’s Daughter Hair Milk Cleansing Conditioner. I only wash out about 90-95% of the product, leaving the rest in as a substitute for a leave-in.

Washing this often is definitely not going to work for a lot of curlies, but if you find your scalp getting really oily (and smelly!”> or are unhappy with how weighed down your roots get, fine haired curlies may want to consider adding an extra wash day or two to your weekly routine. 

I stick to one (maybe two”> lightweight products at a time

My hair is wimpy. If I load more than one product on at a time, it collapses under what it perceives to be an unfair burden and sulks around my ears in an unflattering triangle shape. Heavy creams and oils don’t work for my hair type at all.  It’s really hard to find one product that can provide the moisture, definition, and hold my fine strands need, and it’s a continuous process of trial-and-error.

If you consider my leftover conditioner from washing product #1, my second product step is a thick, milky gel like Miss Jessie’s Jelly Soft Curls or the Curls Goddess Curls botanical gel. Creams, custards, and oils weigh my fine hair down too much and make my hair look oily, but the drugstore gels of my youth create that lovely crunchy texture that still haunts my dreams to this day. I’ve found that alcohol-free gels with a heavier consistency and a stickier texture give me a little bit of moisture, a good amount of definition, and plenty of flexibility to fluff and frizz my hair out to my heart’s content.

I palm-tease my roots and embrace frizz

With hair as fine as mine, frizz is an essential part of my volume equation. No matter how hard I try, my particular combination of curl factors makes it impossible for me to get a cute, voluminous shape and retain definition. 

While I am perfectly happy to embrace frizz, I mitigate some of the definition loss by palm-teasing my roots, a technique I learned from my hairstylist. Palm-teasing starts off like the “rake and shake” method, but instead of moving my palms and fingers down my hair, I keep my hands lightly against my scalp and move them in small, gentle circles. It gives my hair a lift without damaging the shaft or disrupting the majority of my curls, and it’s easy to touch up throughout the day as my hair gets weighed down.

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The rise of the cultural appropriation conversation has been full of intersecting and often argumentative voices. From studies about hair discrimination to black women sharing their reactions to questionable magazine spreads to white women defending their dreadlocks, it’s a nebulous, confusing and frustrating conversation. And black women seem to, yet again, be doing the heavy lifting when it comes to educating their peers on the negative effects of cultural appropriation. 

And black women seem to, yet again, be doing the heavy lifting when it comes to educating their peers on the negative effects of cultural appropriation.

Hair is such an intimate and personal yet public thing that we tie significant portions of our identity in. It can be hard to look critically at how our hair affects others because we work so hard simply to cultivate a positive personal self-image. While I think a “devil-may-care” attitude is good to a certain extent with hair, the dynamic between white curls and black curls is a difficult one that deserves it’s own sensitivities, considerations and respect. And the burden of responsibility should fall largely on me and other white women, not the other way around. Here are a few steps that I have taken to not appropriate black hair.

1. Educate myself  about proper vocabulary

Knowing the right words to use to describe our white curls is really important, because certain words—while they may be listed as synonyms in the dictionary or thesaurus—hold culturally and socially important nuances that should be understood and respected. For example, corkscrew curls are not the same thing as afros, which Allure Magazine learned after publishing a beauty article particularly fraught with black hair appropriation. Telling white women with straight hair that, they too, can have an afro is a slap in the face to the black women and people of color who 1″> know those curls are not an afro and 2″> have actual afros and have been catching backlash for them for a very long time.

2. Find alternatives to culture-specific hairstyles

Building from point #1, I try not force my hair into a hairstyle that is culturally-specific when that culture is not authentic to my upbringing or hair texture. Even if it comes from a place of admiration and solidarity, white women can often get away with wearing black hairstyles in spaces where black women have historically been punished for wearing them. Finding alternatives to culturally-specific hairstyles—like wearing three-stranded braids instead of cornrows or a messy topknot instead of bantu knots—is not particularly difficult, and lets you explore your own creativity instead of taking from a marginalized culture in the name of “trend” or “style.” Many of these cultural styles are protective ones meant to preserve hair length and promote healthy 4b and 4c locks, and were developed out of necessity.

3. Put my money where my hair is

Us curlies spend a fair amount of money and time searching for the products that treat our hair juuuust right, so why not make our product searches even more mindful? Black women and people of color have been making some of the absolute best products and accessories for curly hair for a long time, and using our money to support those businesses is extremely important. While the gender pay gap is very real, the race/gender pay gap is even more significant: according to a 2015 Pew Research Study, white women earn 82 cents on the dollar, whereas black women earn just 65 cents and Hispanic women earn a mere 58 cents.

White women have more earning power than women of color, and we should use some of that power and privilege to support economic endeavors spearheaded by our sisters of color—what easier way to do that than buying products that are already awesome and work really well?  NaturallyCurly has a fantastic “Support Black Business” products page in their SHOP that makes it easy to discover new black-owned brands and purchase more of your favorites. I started seeking out black-owned beauty brands about two years ago (Miss Jessie’s Jelly Soft Curls is my holy grail”>, and starting your purposeful buying journey is as easy as Googling “black-owned curly hair companies.”

4. Acknowledge differences in my curly hair journey

Having curly hair is wonderful, but also really hard. Everyone struggles to accept our textures on both good and bad days. It’s important, however, that white women acknowledge how different our journey to self and social acceptance can be from what black naturalistas experience. There is still significant prejudice against black hair textures and styles, specifically when black women are rocking them. While a white woman may experience discomfort, weird comments or pressure to straighten her hair (personally I am very tired of strangers thinking it’s fine to grab a handful of my frizz”>, it’s not mired in a system of racism, discrimination and purposeful exclusion. I’m sure some white women out there have lost jobs, relationships or opportunities because of her hair, but it’s simply not with the same frequency or intensity that black women and all people of color with textured hair endure, nor is there a system of deep, historical inequity propping it up.

5. Don’t get mad, get better

Finally, I acknowledge that I’m probably going to mess up. Our media and society work very hard to shield us white people from our mistakes, and it’s possible that we’ve been appropriating black hair without even realizing it. Making a mistake doesn’t make you a terrible person with no sensitivity to the struggles of marginalized people, but your reaction to that mistake says a lot about your willingness to make the lives of black women and all people of color better. “I think white women should work to create more inclusive spaces for black women, period…to do that, [white women] should make sure not to fetishize or objectivize us and stand up for us when other people are attempting to do that” said Ineye Komonibo, Media, Culture and Communication Graduate Student at NYU. Making these inclusive spaces is tough, and if you do find yourself participating in disrespectful behaviors, publicly owning up to it, apologizing and learning from it is essential to keeping shared spaces safe.

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To see more of Emily’s hair journey, check out her Instagram @Emily_Neie.