Search Results: Devri Velazquez
What (or who”> inspires you everyday?
For any of the us, the answer would include our mom. From her constant support to her unconditional love, she is a huge reason for why some of us do what we do for the world. Without Mom’s love, who would we be? The better question might be, where would we be? I recently spoke with USA Bobsled Olympian Elana Meyers Taylor as part of Procter & Gamble’s latest release for their Thank You, Mom series: Love Over Bias. Here’s her story.
Lots of things inspire me.
Of course my parents and family come to mind, but I don’t get to see them everyday. So if I had to narrow it down to one thing, it would clearly be my husband Nic, who is also a world class bobsledder. He is an amazingly supportive husband, and also an amazing coach, trainer, therapist and all around partner.
My mom knew I had an Olympic dream to play softball, but that got derailed. She saw bobsled on TV and knew I had the right physique to have potential in the sport so she said, “Hey, you could be good at that, maybe that’s the ticket to the Olympics.” And guess what? Mom was right.
The minute I realized this could be possible and that maybe, one day, take me to the Olympics, I was all in!
It is the foundation of the confidence I have to take on the world. Any challenge it may throw my way or I may choose to pursue, derived from a lifetime of unconditional love she and my father gave to me, which has made me the person I am today.
I have felt different and alone countless times.
I am of mixed race and ethnicity and I’m a big, strong and powerful woman who has competed with and against girls, boys, women and men my whole life. I’m different in lots of ways and proud to be so. My wish is to be part of a growing voice of people, of all people, who believe in the general goodness of people, and believe that being a good person has nothing to do with all of the things that makes us different. I want to be a loud voice in that. I want to be part of drowning out any noise made by haters, and I want to part of helping people reshape narrow minded views.
We are absolutely bombarded with media coverage of the things that divide people.
Sadly, that sort of thing is everywhere. See this film. Share this film. Talk about this film. Because if there is one thing that I believe we all share, every single one of us, everywhere, around the world, one thing that connects us all… it’s a mother’s love. Everyone understands that.
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When the world sees differences, a mom sees boundless potential. For the Winter Olympics 2018, we’re honoring a mom’s role in helping her kids overcome the world’s bias. Just imagine what the world could be if we all saw each other through a mom’s loving eyes. Thank you, Mom.
Read next: How This Olympian’s Mom Taught Her to Disregard the Odds
Learn more about P&G’s series here.
For me, the colder weather always tends to bring on a special set of annoyances for my curly hair.
A few of them include a higher risk for extreme dryness, breakage, and an itchy scalp, to name a few.
Each year I have learned to combat this in different ways. First of all, If I am not wearing my hair in a braided or twisted protective style, chances are I am rocking a fresh haircut (since I like to get my curls professionally trimmed every six months or so”>.
Add a heavier oil to the regimen
I like to add a heavier oil to my usual mix, as it can help with promoting a healthy scalp. I have been pleasantly surprised to notice such a difference in revisitation with Sunny Isle Jamaican Black Castor Oil. The viscosity once scared me off years ago, but now I think I am willing to give it another chance due to its deeply penetrating properties for dry and damaged natural hair.
Twist nightly
Another pain, but re-twisting not only helps with maintaining defintion, but locks in moisture for a longer amount of time than a wash-and-go. I myself lean more towards wanting to wear my hair in its completely unaltered state and with a little manipulation as possible, but if twisting or Bantu knotting every night for about thirty minutes to an hour means that I can go longer in between using up a Sunday afternoon for wash day, it seems like a fair deal to me. Tip: cocktail super light but creamy SheaMoisture Coconut Oil Leave-in conditioner onto the hair shaft, working it down with your fingers and then apply sheen-boosting CURLS Blueberry Bliss Twist-N-Shout Twisting Cream to seal the ends for amazing second day hair and beyond.
Detangle frequently
I know, detangling a full head of kinky curls can be bothersome. In the lifespan of my entire hair journey, this is the step has always been the most dreadful because my hair likes to get matted overnight with even the slightest bit of moisture added to it. This is why I schedule a wash day that will allow me to spend more time finger detangling underneath the showerhead as well as brushing with my Wet Brush Pro.
Don’t forget to deep condition
Deep conditioning is a year-round thing for those of us with coarse curly to coily hair, but consider adding one with moisturizing butters like mango and shea. I like to use Camille Rose Naturals Coconut Penetrating Hair Treatment which contains a plethora of amazing oils and cocoa seed butter to hydrate the thirstiest of curls. If drier air calls for it, I sometimes also double-condition my hair every few days or so with Elucence Moisture Balancing Conditioner and DevaCurl One Condition Decadence Ultra Moisturizing Milk Conditioner, as they work together to leave my hair super soft and defined for the moments that I’m into keeping a healthy wash-and-go style.
Need more tips for naturally curly and dry hair?
I’ve got you covered. Follow me on Instagram @devrivelazquez and read more of my hair advice below:
“Are certain oils for hair growth? What is the difference between sealing and penetrating oils? If I am a type 2 can I use the same oils for hair growth as a type 4?”
If this whole natural lifestyle isn’t overwhelming, I don’t know what is!
You almost need a chemistry degree to figure out what you should be using on your natural tresses. I know your schedule is already crazy busy, so let’s dive right in.
“Which oils should I be using for hair growth?”
Here is the long short of figuring it all out. Oils are a necessity for curly girls, but before you decide which oil is right for you, do a strand test . It is very important to know if your hair leans more to the hydrophobic (resistant to water”> or hydrophilic (water-loving”> side. Remember, before you do the test make sure you have clarified your hair to remove all of your product build-up.
If you have hydrophobic hair:
- Clarify to remove build-up. If you have heavy build-up present, oils won’t penetrate. A great clarifying shampoo is Original Moxie Get Fresh.
- Perform a steam treatment with a great moisturizing deep conditioner like Obia Naturals Babassu Deep Conditioner. The steam helps to swell the hair strands and slightly raise the cuticle. Rinse with cool water to close the cuticle, and lock the penetrating oils in.
- Apply a leave-in conditioner with a water (liquid”> base to wet hair UpNorth Naturals Go-2 Leave In Hair Milk is a great pick. Stay away from hardening proteins and heavy silicones.
What is a penetrating oil?
Like the name, this kind of oil has a molecular makeup small enough to penetrate the hair strands. It is a great idea to have the right penetrating oils in your deep conditioner and leave-in. You may also chose to use a pure form of penetrating oil after you apply your leave-in.
Try one of these penetrating oils for nonporous hair:
- Kendi Oil (which is also for porous hair”> adds shine and rich in omega 3,6, and 9 this can be found in Alterna Bamboo Smooth Kendi Oil.
- Argan Oil- Promotes healthy scalp and rich in Vitamin E.
- Grapeseed Oil-Improves elasticity in hair. Has the ability to clean the walls of damaged capillaries.
- Almond Oil- Treats hair loss and rich in both Vitamin E and magnesium.
Are sealing oils necessary?
Sealing oils do just that, they seal the moisture and penetrating oils in. Sealing oils should be present in your leave-ins, creams, and styling products.
Some of my favorite sealing oils:
- Mango Butter is great for adding hydration and moisture.
- Muru Muru Butter locks in moisture and promotes shine.
- Cupuacu Butter is great for absorbing water and promotes healthy scalp. A great product for this is Original Moxie Emollience.
- Jojoba Oil moisturizes, adds shine and promotes scalp health.
Steps for hydrophilic hair
1. Clarify to remove the build up of heavy products. A great sulfate free option is Surface Purify Shampoo.
2. Deep condition with a flexible protein. Amaranth protein found in Surface Hair Care Trinity One Shot helps reconstruct damaged hair, lubricates the shaft, and combats humidity.
3. Your leave-in should have the ability to start the sealing process with great oils. I love Surface Trinity Tonic and Trinity Protein Cream.
Penetrating oils
- Coconut oil is said to prevent protein loss in hair.
- Babassu oil adds strength to weak strands.
- Avocado oil has antioxidant properties and protects against further heat damage.
It is important to find oils that have the ability to repair once they enter the cuticle.
Sealing Oils
- Castor Oil helps retain moisture and helps repair damage.
- Olive Oil moisturizes and adds elasticity.
- Shea Butter seals in moisture and helps protect against UV rays. Soultanicals Can’t Believe It’s Knot Butta is packed full of great sealing oils suchs as shea butter, mango butter, and castor oil.
Some oils can be used on both porous and non-porous hair, but remember: it is important to learn what your hair needs, and there is no ‘one oil fits all.’
Which oils do you use to seal?
We want to know what products have your favorite penetrating and sealing oils. Join the discussion by posting your comment your fave products.
Being a mere living, breathing human being in the current state of our world is tough.
To exist without apology can seem like a constant uphill battle for some. With regards to ever changing racial, cultural and environmental policies affecting – and destroying – unity as we know it, the need for building a loving, non-judgmental space for yourself can be challenging at best.
Think about the life you want to create for yourself and understand that you deserve all of that and more. You really do have the power. Decide what (or who”> needs to be eliminated from your picture in order to complete the vision successfully. You only have one shot, so why waste time entertaining the things that don’t really matter in the long run? For some, this can be a job. For others, it can be a relationship or a friendship.
Ask yourself:
What feels toxic?
How do I gracefully and peacefully bow out from its existence?
Tell yourself:
I can do this. My life is mine; I own it.
I am the only one who controls what can come into my sacred space that is my body, and my spirit.
While I cannot control what exits, I have to accept what is meant to be for my overall wellbeing.
The universe is constantly sorting it all out, and I should embrace the process. Only I choose what I allow.
Do this right now.
Take a deep breath. In fact, take a few. Don’t rush — I allow myself at least 15 to 20 minutes of meditation, or time to decompress, for every four hours of work that I do. The great thing is that it can be done anywhere, not just at home. If you work in a hectic office environment, go to the restroom and find the stall furthest away from all of the foot traffic. Standing with your feet firmly planted on the ground and your arms hanging on either side of your body, close your eyes gently. Keep your face relaxed, doing steady counts of 5 inhaling, then exhaling. Say it with me: radical self-care. It’s magical.
If your air feels polluted, go outside and be near trees and flowers for a few minutes. Feel the breeze across your face. Relax the tension in your shoulders and face. Embrace the beauty that is the space you are currently in within your own mind. No outside source has the ability to deter you from everything you deserve. Once you believe this, it will ooze from your pores and your smile, and the rest of us will have no choice but to also believe that you are capable of owning your destiny. You are beyond powerful.
Hey, sis — the NaturallyCurly team is here for you.
Need some affirmations to get you in the right direction? We all do. I gathered some from my colleagues; free to post them to social media, your vision board, or office space.
Next: Read 6 Random But Easy Ways to Improve Your Self-Care Routine
Do you have a positive affirmation for your fellow curlies?
Drop it below in the comments. When one shares their power, we all have the power.
Follow me on Instagram for more encouragement @devrivelazquez
photo courtesy of @photo.jay / graphics by @cuur
What do your roots mean to you?
My fellow fairy mermaid inner goddess spirit animal freak flag sis FKA Twigs just asked you a question, so you’d better answer.
The inscrutable dancer turned singer turned creative director just threw a party themed around braids for her new Instagram-exclusive e-zine. Hold my coat — it’s called AVANTgarden and therefore, I am already fanning myself down in an excited frenzy.
On Twigs’ Friday Insta-story we saw a beautiful rainbow of black and white, younger and older, coily and wavy, women and men, blonde and brunette, coming joining magical forces within one swanky London neon light nightclub for the sole purpose of celebrating one thing: braids. The question of the night: What do braids mean to you?
“Braids mean self-care, maintenance; they remind me of being a kid…” one woman reminisced.
“Braids give me a sense of power,” mentioned another. “I embrace myself when I have braids…”
“Braids mean to me self-acceptance,” claims yet another woman with beautifully adorned cornrows. “The first time I ever had braids put it, it was the first time I really felt beautiful.”
The first time I ever had braids put it, it was the first time I really felt beautiful.
FKA herself has had quite a bit to say about creative expression through her hair, fashion, and art. “Textures apply to everything I do. Even within my music,” she has said. “I like smooth things, and then hard and fluffy things, all giving them their place to shine.” With the release of her new e-zine focused on hair nostalgia, hopefully the blend of textures, both literally and figuratively, will have a positive impact #fortheculture of Instagram users, especially influential and impressionable millennial.
Braids mean self-care, maintenance; they remind me of being a kid…
With more than 800 million monthly users on the social media platform, creating an Instagram-only e-zine — with editing by Suzannah Pettigrew, styling by Matthew Josephs, hairstyling by Rio Sreedharan and photography by R + D — is nothing short of brilliant.
As far as creative direction is concerned, think: late ’80s, early ’90s black hair magazines you snatch from a pile while waiting in the salon to get your perm. While most of us in the NaturallyCurly community don’t want to think about the relaxer portion of the day, thinking back on memories in the beauty shop certainly can be nostalgic at the very least. Complete with iconic illustrations of afro picks and spray bottles, the title “Roots, Shock, Beauty” is fitting. Perfectly decorated coifs showcasing true diversity in the protective style shows also succeeds in showing the fashion-forward timelessness of it all.
Like every single one of Twigs’ projects, this one also gives me a sense of elation knowing that one of my sisters in creativity was one of the first, if not the only (to date”>, to put her stamp on the idea. Issue 1 of AVANTgarden, Roots, Shock, Beauty, is available now.
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What do your roots mean to you?
How have you embraced your culture and style through your hair?
Post your ideas in the comment section — let us know. Follow us on Facebook to see what we’re talking about right now.
Credits:
Creative Director: FKA twigs @fkatwigs
Editor: Suzannah Pettigrew @suz_p Styling: Matthew Josephs @matthew_josephs Hair: Rio Sreedharan @rio_hair Casting: FKA twigs @fkatwigs and Olivia Kaifa @livokai Photography and post production: R + D @reecendean MUA: Bea Sweet @beasweetbeauty Set Design: Suzannah Pettigrew @suz_p Models: Chanel @chanellygirl / Naomi @_flowerchildx / Olivia @livokai / James @j_magz / Malick @ssandroidx / Kaner @kanerflex / Vanessa @vanessaohenlen / Jourdan @jourdancopeland / Rachellé @rachellehollandxx Logo: Matt de Jong @go_dejong Layout: FKA twigs @fkatwigs / Suzannah Pettigrew @suz_p / Matt de Jong @go_dejong Illustrations: Roxie Warder @roxiepandoraFor more hair and pop culture commentary, follow me on Instagram @devrivelazquez
Known as Freaky Friday and Friday the 13th, the origins of the ‘unlucky’ day are not totally known, although it is estimated that anywhere between 17 and 21 million people have a phobia of it due to the fear of bad things happening to them.
We’ve all heard about the black cats and broken mirrors myths, but did you know about these strange hair superstitions?
- Cutting your hair at night means you’re asking for a family member to die.
- Women with red hair have short tempers.
- Dropping your comb while styling will bring you disappointment in the near future.
- If you are traveling by foot and cross a redhead, you must turn around.
- Cutting your hair on a Thursday will attract guardian angels to you.
- Your 1 year old son will become smarter if you trim his hair.
- Do not wash your hair the day prior to taking an important test at school.
- Cutting your hair on a Tuesday will help you become wealthy.
- Shaving your head on a Saturday will cause you to accumulate more debt the entire year.
- If you pluck a gray hair, three more will grow back.
- Hair that is cut off must be burned.
- If you throw your hair away in a trash can, a bird will come pick it up and add it to their nest.
- Cut your hair on a Monday to maintain good health.
- Cutting your hair on a Sunday will attract evil to you the rest of the week.
- If you cut your baby’s hair before their 1st birthday, they will grow up without common sense.
- Fine hair is a sign of a mentally weak person.
- If a pregnant woman styles and cuts your hair, it will grow faster.
- If you have a cowlick, you are a lucky person.
- If your hair falls down below your knee, you are an unfit bride.
- If a jealous person touches your hair, it will fall out.
Which crazy hair superstition have you heard about?
Follow us on Instagram @NaturallyCurly
No two head of curls are identical. You may have figured out that you are a Type 3b curly but feel left confused when you see another Type 3b whose curls look completely different from yours! That’s because curl pattern is only one aspect of your hair type – there’s so much more to it! We have 3 women with Type 3b curls in the NaturallyCurly office and all of their hair looks different from each other! In this infographic we’re breaking down the unique curl characteristics of our Graphic Designer, Fran.
She knows her curl pattern is Type 3b curly, but that’s not where it ends…Curl pattern
Fran’s Type 3b curls resemble a loopy “s” pattern that is more defined towards the ends. Each curl is the circumference of a Sharpie marker.
If you’re unsure of your curl pattern, check out this quick guide.
Texture & porosity
Fran’s curls are super fine, meaning each of her individual strands is thin. Her strands are high porosity since her hair is permanently colored. Porosity determines how your hair absorbs moisture, if you don’t know your porosity here’s how to test it.
Length
Fran has hair below her shoulders, which means that the weight of her hair draws her curls downward. This, in combination with her fine strands means that her hair doesn’t have much volume.
The downside to fine, high porosity, 3b curls?
Fran’s volume can fall flat sometimes, so she can’t handle heavy styling products. Since her curls have been manipulated by permanent hair color, she says her biggest issue is breakage. Oh, and don’t even get her started on detangling! “Fairy knots happen to me way too often. When I’m feeling patient I’ll really sit and attempt to free my strands–until I feel defeated.”
Fran’s holy grails
- Daily & Cleansing Conditioner: Devacurl No-Poo Decadence & One Condition
- Leave-in Conditioner: Camille Rose Naturals Coconut Water Leave-In Treatment
- Deep Conditioner: Camille Rose Naturals Algae Renew Deep Conditioner
- Curl Defining Styler: Jessicurl Rockin’ Ringlets Styling Potion, Ouidad Climate Control Gel
- Sealant: Darshana Natural Indian Hair Oil
What works for Fran
Water-based products in general work really well for my hair. They absorb into my hair well and keep my curls looking and feeling light and fluffy.
Fran’s regimen
First, I always wash my hair at nighttime. I get the best volume when I let my hair dry overnight. This technique beats a wash-and-go anyday. I co-wash, condition, and detangle in the shower. Then, I apply Camille Rose Naturals Coconut Water Leave-In Treatment right after I get out of the shower. I usually just freestyle the method I use to apply the product, but I mostly just rake it through my hair with a little bit of praying hands here and there. I always make sure to always scrunch my curls at the end. After that, I apply Jessicurl Rockin’ Ringlets Styling Potion in the same method as step 2–then I plop for about 4 hours after I wash my hair, then I allow my hair to air dry overnight.
Is Fran your curl twin?
This article was originally published in 2016 and has been updated for clarity and grammar.
From Amandla Stenberg to Yara Shahidi, we can learn a thing or two from the rampant beauty and boldness that is black girl magic in today’s young Hollywood.
Former Disney star Zendaya Coleman has emerged into her own as one of these significant voices in once-taboo topics within the media realm such as colorism and diversity.
And she has been slaying the conversation, never shying away from her stance on beauty politics, even if it means making other notable public figures squirm in their seat. In her latest cover feature for Glamour Magazine, here are 4 things that remind us that, in fact, Zendaya is someone to keep on your radar, for you and your daughter.
She recognizes her priviledge as a light-skinned woman of color.
A topic that is usually avoided or off-limits altogether, Zendaya understands that being of mixed race and having lighter skin gives her a hall pass of some sort, especially in Hollywood. “I’ve talked about this before, but can I honestly say I would be in the position I’m in if I weren’t a lighter-skinned black woman? No.”
can I honestly say I would be in the position I’m in if I weren’t a lighter-skinned black woman? No.
She is fearless about fashion.
For Zendaya, picking clothes from the ‘boys’ section is not off limits. That is why her line, Daya by Zendaya, is all-inclusive and has no particular gender focus. “There’s something to be said for the fact that literally everybody can hate my outfit, but if I feel good in it, I’m the only one that should matter.”
She fangirls over the same celebrities we do.
Zendaya has no qualms about giving credit to — and showing admiration for — her fellow sisters in power. “I mean, Shonda—she saw something nobody else was doing and said, ‘I’m going to create it myself. I’m going to put strong, powerful women of color in lead roles and create narratives for different types of people.’ … And then, Beyoncé. She took it to the next level with Lemonade. She’s got twins, and she’s banging. She’s killing it. And, of course, Michelle Obama, because that is an intelligent woman.”
She is optimistic about her professional future.
Shaking a Disney past can be hectic, and we have all witnessed that with plenty of former child stars that shall remain nameless. Zendaya does not want to remain typecast into the same role forever. “I have to pick the right projects, make sure I do the right things, take my time. And then I want to produce and create shows and movies, whether or not I’m starring in them.”
Which young black Hollywood star is slaying the game right now?
Let us know who your current favorite is on Instagram @naturallycurly.
Liked this?
Read my article about Rihanna and humanitarianism.
Fall’s biggest hairstyle trend: Curtain bangs.
Trend reports are in, and according to Byrdie, the phrase “curtain bangs” is up 600% on popular social media sites like Pinterest. While it seems strikingly similar to side-swept bangs, here is the main difference: a middle part is create in order to achieve the look. Described as “swoopy and middle-parted,” thae style is known to “drape down on either side to frame the face.” Another great thing for natural wavies and curlies around the world is how well curtain bangs work with texture.
I spoke with our Managing Editor, Cristina (@cristinacleveland“>, who is prepared to fully rock the curtain bangs trend on her wavy-curly hair this season. Here’s what she does to keep her current bangs regimen as effortless and minimal as possible.
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Photo by @jennellgordon
A quick breakdown:
- Scrunching is essential, especially if you have a looser curl pattern
- Use a small amount of styler from the bottom up
- Avoid heat usage (in general, but especially on bangs!”>
- Pin curl bangs with a bobby pin to fix wonky pieces and prevent frizz
- Try clip-in bangs before committing to the look
The styling hack for perfect curtain bangs
“I just use a very, very small amount of whatever styler I’m using on the rest of my hair (which is different every day depending on my mood, the weather, and where I am in my wash week”>,” says Cristina. “I scrunch my styler through my hair from the bottom up, and scrunch whatever is left over on my hands when I’m done into my bangs. If I accidentally put too much styler on them, I scrunch with a towel to remove some product.”
On maintaing healthy bangs
“I make sure to cleanse and condition them just like I do the rest of my hair, otherwise they might end up looking greasy before the rest of my hair does. I’ve also avoided using any heat on them. If they look wonky I don’t use a curling wand to fix them, instead I just wet them with a spray bottle and finger twirl them or pin curl them with a bobby pin to set them.”
On keeping frizz and flyaways at bay
“The great thing about curtain bangs is that you can split them down the middle so they’re not fully on your face all the time the way blunt bangs are. As for frizz or flyaways, finger twirling or pin curling them helps to prevent frizz and flyaways. I will say though, that no matter what you do they’re still bangs, so if you can’t stand the feeling of hair on your face then this cut is not for you. Do what I did and try clip on bangs first to see if you can stand it before committing to a cut! I got tips from our intern Kiana (pictured below”> on what to expect before I made the cut. I suggest you read her article What You Should Know Before You Try Curly Bangs.”
Interested in rocking curtain bangs?
At SHOPNaturallyCurly, we have plenty of products dedicated to giving your curls all the freedom they need. Here are some faves for wavies and curlies rocking bangs:
- DevaCurl Wave Maker Touchable Texture Whip does exactly what it says: make your waves more touchable, not crispy or crunchy.
- Ouidad Advanced Climate Control Defrizzing Conditioner provides wavy to curly hair with a clean slate for styling.
- Ecoco Eco Pro Cream Styler Gel Play N’ Stay lets you easily manipulate your bangs to one side while encouraging them to comfortably stay in place.
- Dippity-Do Girls With Curls Curl-Boost Spray helps to create more body in limp or fine curly hair
Already rocking them? Post your selfie to our Facebook page!
Atlanta’s top curly hair salon, Southern Curl, is celebrating its 1-year anniversary with Hurricane Harvey victims in mind.
Being a longtime client and friend of Southern Curl owner and recent 2017 Modern Salon 100 honoree, Robin Sjoblom, I couldn’t be more excited to hear about the salon’s 1-year anniversary celebration this Saturday and Sunday, 9/16-9/17 at MWest Lofts in Atlanta, GA.
More importantly, perhaps, than being happier than ever for the success of Sjoblom and her talented crew, I was delighted to read on her invitation that there would be a special donation and prize giveaway with proceeds benefiting victims of Hurricanes Harvey and Irma.
There will be a $10 drawing for a chance to win Southern Curl’s Custom Curl Cut, a $165 value, with all proceeds going to people affected by the recent natural disasters in Houston, TX, Miami, FL, the British Virgin Islands and surrounding areas. (See all of the team’s amazing curly transformations here.”> A chance to spin Southern Curl’s “Whirl of Curls” for prizes and products will happen every 30 minutes. Per party orders, mimosas and beer will be in abundance as well!
Robin is no stranger to rendering her amazing curly skills for a good cause — last October she hosted Rock Your Blessings fundraiser supporting yours truly in my effort to pay for costly monthly medical treatments to curb my chronic illness, Takayasu’s Vasculitis.
“Opening Southern Curl has been a dream come true,” says Sjoblom. “I feel so blessed to walk into the salon every morning and know I have a team of wonderful women who are on the same bus I’m on. Southern Curl is a space where women and men of curl can come and feel comfortable and leave confident in who they are.”
If you are in the Atlanta area, please visit and support our good friends at Southern Curl for their 1-year anniversary festivities. You will be celebrating for a good cause!
Bring any unopened and unused products that will also be donated to Hurricane Harvey victims in Texas. The salon address is:
1339 Marietta Blvd. NW
Suite A
Atlanta, GA 30318
Like Southern Curl on Facebook and follow them on Instagram.
This summer I have been rocking feed-in braids and box braids as I dip my toe into the protective styles pool.
During most of the year a protective style on me is a colorful kente cloth headwrap or Marley twists in the winter, but this time I decided to give my precious curls a break from the sweltering heat. I had an amazing talk with my hair braider, Karyne (@hairbykaryne if you are based in NYC — tell her I sent you!”> who cares more about preserving hair health than the ‘aesthetic’ of protective style braids, which I truly appreciate. While we like to act like we treat our curly hair with perfect attention 100 percent of the time, I will admit that that was not necessarily true for me until I was reminded of these three important factors from Karyne during our recent session.
I still have to keep my scalp clean.
Some naturals might argue that while wearing braids and twists, we don’t have to worry as much about washing our hair. Let me tell you how disgusting that is. Since moving to New York City recently I have been on this constant commute out in the polluting elements; I am sure you can imagine how brown the water is when I decided to finally scrub my scalp clean after neglecting it for so long with my feed-ins. Taliah Waajid has an innovative Dry Gel Shampoo that actually makes it hard to have a reason to skip wash day with braids. The product comes in a nozzle that lets me aim right at my scalp and use the pads of my fingers on damp — not soaking wet — hair, making it super easy to wipe up — not rinse out — with a wash cloth. It is pure magic for prolonging the look of a protective style, and not to mention, it contains some refreshing ingredients to ensure a deep clean like avocado oil, peppermint oil, and bamboo extract.
I still have to moisturize.
Just like my mom used to part my hair and ‘grease’ my scalp when I wore it relaxed throughout most of my life, it is important to keep my scalp moisturized as natural and in braids, too. Taliah Waajid Protective Styles Gro Hair Gro Bamboo And Coconut Milk Growth Oil is great for the morning before heading out to refresh and add some natural sheen to my style. In the midday or at night, I moisturize with Healthy Hair Under There Bamboo, Avocado And Peppermint Conditioning & Restoring Serum, which is made for daily use and is oil-free, meaning it won’t leave annoying drip stains on my pillow when I lay down to go to sleep.
I still have to get a trim.
Ok, so I have a confession: I missed my regular 6-month trim to maintain my shape and the health of my curls. I know, I preach all the time about how this isn’t OK. But I also have mentioned how I am so against cutting my own hair, and since my hairstylist Robin is at Southern Curl in Atlanta, I haven’t been able to make it out that way since a recent move. Therefore, I have gone a couple of months too long without a proper trim, and my hair braider Karyne informed me how that could cause my split ends to travel even further up the hair shaft and give me more damage in the long run. Now that the universe has reminded me that a protective style isn’t an excuse for going without a trim, I will be my appointment as soon as possible.
Which factor is important to you while rocking braids?
Let me know if you have any advice to add!
We’re on Facebook – NaturallyCurly and I am on Instagram – @devrivelazquez
photo courtesy of @ovrtmedia / hair by @hairbykaryne
New York Fashion Week 2017
Known as a whirlwind for the biggest names in popular clothing and mainstream beauty, New York Fashion Week is seldom known for giving what has been long considered unconventional hair the attention it deserves.
In this day and age, unfortunately, natural hair is still pretty low on the priority list when major labels, stylists and designers are considering the presentation of their next NYFW presentation. And that is precisely why NaturallyCurly decided to create our own fashion show, Texture on the Runway powered by Sally Beauty. This past Thursday, September 7th, we took over the luxurious stage at Gotham Hall and dedicated an evening to the intricacy and beauty that curly textured hair is known for.
Instead of encouraging hairstylists to reach for the straightening irons, we brought together six brands of various well known hair care favorites in the community, put them on one stage in one show, and told them to bring forth their unique take on the true diversity in naturally curly hair.
When I heard Mielle Organics would be part of the TOR 2017 lineup, I was giddy with excitement. Having met CEO and founder Monique Rodriguez years ago when creating a healthy hair care brand for curly girls was a mere idea posted on social media, I couldn’t wait to see what the rapidly successful brand had in store for hundreds of us in New York City on that special night.
Singing an ode to magical black girls everywhere
With holy grails such as Mint Almond Oil, Avocado Hair Milk and Detangling Cowash, the brand puts healthy, naturally glowing hair for every texture at the forefront of its mission statement, so when I sat down with lead stylist and Mielle Organics educator, Key Glover, it made perfect sense why the theme for their Texture on the Runway show was called Cranes in the Sky.
An ode to magical black girls everywhere, I think we can all agree that when Solange’s hit album A Seat at The Table came out, it provided us with much needed comfort and encouragement we weren’t getting enough of as a community, especially women with tighter curls and coils. Mielle Organics’ take on Cranes was just as lovely and comforting, complete with a harpist and more glitter than my big glowing soul could handle in a night filled with so much safety and joy.
“Solange is very versatile with her hair styles. She is very free in terms of wearing different hairstyles such” -Key Glover, Mielle Organics Lead Hairstylist
The best part of the show?
Although you would think that the sparkling and flowy outfits and the long, complex, textured braids did it for me, I threw my hands up in utter happiness when Monique and Key graced the stage to inform the audience the debut of their latest collection, Pomegranate & Honey. Made for type 4 coily girls, this line was used on each hairstyle showcased by the brand at Texture on the Runway, making all of us fall in black girl magic and black boy joy just a little bit more at the end of the night.
Stay tuned for Mielle Organics’ new collection, Pomegranate & Honey, to be sold at Sally Beauty at the end of the month. In the meantime, shop your MO holy grails in their online store.
This post was sponsored by Mielle Organics.
Photos courtesy of Corey Reese Photography
Attending a major music, food and arts festival at the wind-down of the summer comes with big decisions — you know, like How will I wear my hair? and Who will I get a selfie with? But seriously, the fun and versatility of having naturally curly hair is something that never gets old, especially in situations like these.
Returning for its second year, The Meadows Music and Arts Festival is coming to New York City with an exciting multitude of headliners including Jay-Z, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nas, Gorillaz, Future, Erykah Badu, Weezer and more taking over Citi Field in Queens on September 15th-17th. Here are the burning questions on my mind as I prepare for The Meadows Festival.
How will I wear my hair?
At recent major festivals I’ve rocked box braids and fluffy undefined ‘fros, but I am considering switching it up again. One thing is for certain, even an outdoor music and food festival won’t have be forfeitting the health of my curls over their look for the sake of trendsetting fashion alone. I also know I will be toting my Tausii Co. bag to keep all my hair ties and mini bottle of curl refresher secure. Let me know what your suggestions for styles are.
What will I eat?
Let me tell you about this food lineup though. I better not find out where Dough’s Donuts is hanging or else all of my photo opps are going to have me looking like I’m a 10-year-old kid who is getting my reward after behaving at my dentist appointment.
Which artists will I watch?
There are so many good artists, so much amazing music. I will have went to rockstar heaven once I enter the fest. Who will it be? Red Hot Chili Peppers are, quite honestly, one of my favorite bands of all time and I am considering how much I’m going to love the shoes I have on when I see the size of the crowd and what I am willing to do to pummel through it in order to get a good view. If you catch me zoning out to the likes of Future just know that sometimes, I channel my inner trap star and in that moment, I clearly don’t care who’s watching.
I was fortunate enough to grab my ticket before I knew they’d be selling out like slices of Roberta’s Pizza, but I was just told that tomorrow, September 1, is the deadline to purchase tickets while avoiding rush fees on wristbands. Grab your your passes here before it’s too late.
Will I see you at The Meadows?
Let me know in the comments below if you’ll be there! Follow me on social media @devrivelazquez for exclusive updates and behind-the-scenes of all the festivities.
Photo by @stylefeen for NaturallyCurly.
So many festivals happen during the hotter seasons, and many of them are held at outdoor venues.
Although they are meant to be an enjoyable time, it can get hot and exhausting if you fail to care for yourself first. Not to mention, the mixture of loud music, alcohol, and super-hype attendees can make a festival seem like a playground of anxiety for a large portion of the population. And as lit as they can be, events like Afropunk can certainly be overwhelming at best when it comes to putting self-care at the forefront of the day. Being an avid festival-goer myself, here is how I survive and thrive.
Eat and drink when necessary.
I start every morning with a latte, but considering the amount of sugar it can contain and how long I plan on being out in the sun for a show that day, it may be worth skipping and replacing with a green smoothie instead. That way, I know I’ll get an equal fix of both sweetness — a la fruit sugars — and real, lasting energy by way of the smoothie’s green vegetables to boost my vitamins, minerals, and fiber intake.
Drink plenty of water, and do not ignore your body when it is telling you that you are hungry and about to pass out. I will never miss an opportunity to eat a slice of pizza or a taco from a food truck during a festival, even if it is slightly greasy and extremely overpriced. Food is nourishment, and it is important to feed yourself, especially while burning energy and being on your feet for hours on end.
Protect your ears and eyes.
Have some stylish sunnies in your purse in case the sun in sweltering and in your face the day of a festival. Another dual purpose option is a cute umbrella — if it rains, you’ll be covered as well. And seaking of the sun, bring a portable battery-powered fan to keep you cool, too. I always bring a pair of cheapearbuds from the drugstore since I like getting up close and personal near the performers.
Wear the right stuff.
Wear sunscreen 30, and go the extra mile of protection by keeping your beautiful curls tucked in a headwrap or underneath a hat. Wear comfortable shoes and breathable clothing that you might not mind getting a little dirty. I once wore a brand new pair of shoes and ended up in a mosh pit; needless to say, the show was memorable but my shoes were done for by the time I got back home.
Ignore the idiots.
Every event has a few buzzkills, but you don’t have to be affected by them. I’ve witnessed my fair share of stupid people attempting to disturb the peace, but that doesn’t mean I had to pay any mind to their behavior. If your mind is feeling uneasy and craving a moment to yourself in a busy crowd, never hesitate to step aside and duck off for a bit in between sets. Stand in the shade, go drink some water, and close your eyes for a bit (if possible”>. Give your brain a break, and just relax. After all, festivals are intended to be a sort of vacation from everyday life.
Last but not least, stay present.
There is a rare chance to see and hear great performances from amazing artists, so allow yourself to appreciate it. Put your phone down and don’t worry so much about posting to your story. Yeah, that’s coming from me. Even though I am notorious in my circle of friends for being the one who Snapchats and Insta-stories everything, I am certainly mindful of how much time I spend on my phone during festivals. Nothing beats the experience, the chance to be in a place with like-minded individuals, so the texts and mindless social media scrolling can wait.
Most importantly, have fun!
The NC crew will see you at Afropunk 2017!
Read our advice on how we slayed Curlfest 2017 here.
Follow me@devrivelazquez / photos of yours truly by@photo.jay
Unexpected trips to the ER are never fun.
For these four women, frequent hospital stays are the norm and having constant bed head is just another pain to deal with. In the chronic illness community, we refer to ourselves as “spoonies” and being one myself for 6 years now, I can attest to the amount of pain — physical and emotional — that having a random and incurable disease can bring about. The last thing anyone is pain wants to be bothered with is their hair and beauty, but as women, we sometimes find that an innate characteristic, and it’s OK to want to feel beautiful at a low moment.
Below, 3 of my spoonie friends and I share how we deal with annoying hair and beauty issues — and just low self-esteem in general — when fighting for our lives in the hospital bed.
Devri
- Diagnosis: Takayasu’s Arteritis, Ascending Aortic Aneurysm, Bilateral Carotid Artery Disease
My beauty secrets on flare-up days
I have learned to enjoy the mask that a cute headwrap provides. On mornings that have me feeling physically weak, I have to utilize the little amounts of energy that I do have in the smartest way. I can admit that it does get pretty challenging when my body is tired because I tend to ignore the immediate needs of my curls like moisture, or a good detangling session. However, I pick right back up on the good days and ensure that I feed even more attention to make up for whatever I neglected.
As far as my skin and hygiene are concerned, hospital stays have been difficult in the past. One hack that I have learned during overnight stays are to use one of the hospital chairs to prop myself in the shower so that I don’t have to stand up while bathing.
I usually have my mom or a friend help wash my hair and cleanse my face. I rely heavily on my toner and green tea moisturizer to refresh my face, especially if I know to expect some visitors throughout the day.
I have felt ‘ugly’ a few times throughout the years of my diagnosis.
With constant weight fluctuation, extreme weight gain, acne, brittle hair and an overall sense of fatigue and frailness that have not left my body in 6 years, I have spent plenty of time questioning myself in the mirror through tears. Now I have learned to get a better grip on my feelings, as I understand that this is just how my cards were dealt and I will have Takayasu’s for the rest of my life. I might as well embrace the beautiful story it has given me to share!
Visit my personal blog, Pretty Sick Chick
Karolyn
- Diagnosis: Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
My hospital beauty routine: minimal and protective.
In the ER, or during hospital stays, I sweep my hair into pigtails to keep it from getting tangled or needing to be brushed. When I’ve had to do EEGs or sleep studies, I would bring silicone-based shine serum like Frizz-Ease because the silicone breaks down the glue; I massage it into the wads of glue on my scalp and dissolve them without damaging my hair afterwards. It reduces the stress of the process, and makes showering afterwards easier.
For my face, I focus on skincare, so I’m comfortable with a bare face, or smearing on a bright lip gloss to draw attention to everything I’m telling my doctors I need.
[quote cite=”Karolyn”] Accepting that my core remains the same regardless of how I look has been key to breaking down other people’s reactions to how my body looks as it changes through illness and loving myself through it all. [/quote]
My body is going to change with my health, and I can’t control that.
Accepting that my core remains the same regardless of how I look has been key to breaking down other people’s reactions to how my body looks as it changes through illness and loving myself through it all. Community is everything, and every day brings surprises. The more you can adapt to change, the better life will be.
Follow Karolyn on Instagram @karolynprg
Jenni
- Diagnosis: Fibromyalgia, Anxiety, Depression, Hypothyroid, Raynaud’s Phenomenon, Asthma, Rosacea, IBS, and Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD”>
The biggest challenge regarding my physical appearance while being sick
Fatigue changes how much I am able to do. I’ve had to develop lots of strategies to save time and energy so I can still go out and feel like I look presentable… even if I feel awful. for me, it’s a self-esteem saver. So even on really bad days, if I’m going out, I try to put my hair up in a cute clip or headband. I’ll put on mascara, and sometimes I will use a tinted moisturizer and that’s it – that may be all the energy I can put into makeup on that day. I also go many days without washing my hair; my stylist has cut my hair in a way that enhances my natural waves, so I can wash and go, which saves me energy on using a blow dryer, which can feel extremely heavy on bad days.
On flare-up days I use a tinted moisturizer to even out my skin — my rosacea is relatively mild, so most of the time I don’t need foundation to even out my skin tone. A little mascara helps my eyes look bigger and more awake. Some days, that’s all I’ll use: tinted moisturizer and mascara.
For my hair, I’ll use products like dry shampoo, a curl activator, and oil to scrunch up my waves and give them some body and shape — I love Davines products. My haircut accentuates my natural waves so I can do this without washing my hair — my stylist totally gets me! I may dampen my hair so I can reshape some of the waves, but that’s it.
The key to making myself feel pretty
Realness: last winter I was so sick with an upper respiratory bug that my asthma went bonkers and we went to the ER. I kept coughing so hard, for so long, but I was hooked up to machines and I couldn’t get out of the hospital bed. I wet the bed. I felt so embarrassed, although I knew the hospital staff had seen it all (they don’t care”>. But I felt so gross; it was bad enough to be so sick and vulnerable, but that added a layer of embarrassment. I wound up confined to my house for many days after that, and normally I think I would feel like a total slug… but I didn’t want to! So I made sure to wash my face every day, and put on cute PJs, even if I wasn’t going out. Sometimes it’s not even about thinking about your looks — it’s about finding clothes that fit great and feel good, so you’re not adding any more aggravation to what’s already a really difficult situation.
Subscribe to Jenni’s free newsletter, Chronic Babe. (photo courtesy of Alix Kramer”>
If I’m going to be at home in bed, I might as well be fabulous.
- Diagnosis: Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS”>, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS”>, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Histamine Intolerance (suspected Mast Cell Activation Disorder”>
One time when I felt ‘ugly’ for being sick
“I was in the hospital once so I could be monitored while taking some new medication. At the time, I was pretty much intolerant to the world and I nearly passed out whenever I ate. I pretty much couldn’t eat. The nurses were convinced I was in for an eating disorder and started telling me the reasons that I felt the way I did was because I wasn’t eating. It was incredibly frustrating that I wasn’t taken seriously or believed (even when in hospital”> because of my appearance.”
My approach to hair and beauty during a flare-up
I lack any skill when it comes to hair and makeup, and it’s taken me 28 years to start really paying attention to it! Although, whenever I was really unwell, my mum would treat me to a blow-dry at the hairdresser to cheer me up. I’ve recently got really into Korean skincare — thank goodness my intolerances are mostly behind me now — and I can’t even describe how much of a change I notice in my skin. I look so much healthier, and it has made me feel so much more confident in myself, even during a flare. When I used to have a bad day or week or month, looking after myself used to go totally out the window, I’d brush my teeth and only shower if a friend was coming over.
Getting into a skincare routine, and making sure I do it every day, twice a day (no matter what”>, has been a lovely way to realise that even when I feel crap, I deserve to look after myself and my appearance, and it makes me feel a lot happier. And I don’t think that’s shallow.
For the first time in over 15 years, I’ve started to embrace my naturally curly hair…
And I find that even getting in the shower on a bad day and letting my ringlets fall down just makes me feel better than staying all greasy in bed. i’ve still got to learn how to keep those curls in overnight, because I hate how awful it looks in the morning. I don’t really wear makeup when I’m home alone, but if people come to see me, I’ll put on concealer, foundation, blusher, mascara, and a bold lipstick. I can always see in my face when I’m particularly poorly, so covering up ’sick me’ with makeup makes me feel more like myself. I don’t often paint my nails, but when I do, it always perks me up, and it is something I want to start doing more regularly.
How I talk to ‘Sick Natasha’
It reminds me that there is more to me than how my health has me feeling. Oh, and I’ve bought lovely pyjamas, because if I’m going to be at home in bed, I might as well be fabulous.
Listen to Natasha’s podcast, Spoonie Pyjama Party
I want my children to see me creating my own path, being my authentic self, living around the world, living through my heart.
Bueno! My name is Diauni, and I am currently living in Envigado, Colombia.
I am an alchemist. I prefer not to be called a healer, rather, I am a catalyst for healing and empowering people to live heart-based lives. I guide those in need of spiritual cleansing, healing, and connection, to light, back to themselves. My business is called @theheartdoula. My vision is one of vibrant, abundant, and honest lives that stem from heart consciousness. I aim to provide support in the creation of a life that synchronizes with the heart space utilizing a holistic approach: psychology, spirit work, and tangible goal setting. It has given me such immense joy to witness those I have helped actually doing the work to make their dreams, their realities. I am deeply grateful to have helped so many people.
The key: self-healing.
My desire to work with spirit came through an almost suicide attempt. I was in school studying psychology, simultaneously studying myself. I was aware of the ways in which the brain maneuvered, how trauma manifested itself, how neurons connected and fired, how different areas of the brain were triggered in survival situations, how environment affected the ways in which we learned, how we desperately needed to relate to other humans, how we found and solidified motivation. I took all of this information and constantly self-applied, until I realized everything occurring physically, had to be occurring on a deeper, spiritual level. In the midst of all of these processes and epiphanies, I began to meditate, as a coping mechanism for all of the stress and anxiety I was experiencing, and consequently, I realized I could talk to spirit. Through clairaudient channeling is how I do my work, for myself and my clients. Years of soul work and psychology, led me to the understanding that this is my heart’s calling, my purpose in this lifetime.
Being a mother has brought extreme precision and clarity to the ways in which I decide to live my life.
It has completely altered my values. I used to believe that a full time job and a higher education was the solution, until I began to see constant struggle, even from those with accolades, and that struggle wasn’t always necessarily physical, but spiritual. There seemed to be an unspoken prerequisite, that in turn for these supreme awards of the world, there must be a blindness to alternate realms of this reality. I could not bring myself to trade. Although humanity’s suffering is vast and complicated, we do not have to choose to participate in this conditioned way of being. I want my children to see me creating my own path, being my authentic self, living around the world, living through my heart. I want them to truly know and trust themselves, to always follow their hearts, to know that this world is theirs, to know that they are free.
Oh. I always knew I was different from others.
I was an extremely sensitive child, but I really knew once I was in college. I began to crave complete isolation. I would retreat to my room to do rituals and ceremonies, when I was supposed to be in class or at work. I would have panic attacks in my car. I knew that was spirit guiding me, saying, “This isn’t where you are supposed to be.” I kept a lot of my writing private. I didn’t talk in depth with my family because they didn’t believe in God. When I tried to talk to friends, they didn’t seem to understand. I was on a whole other wave. I did have an online community on Twitter, with whom I could confide and who I learned a lot from. I’m grateful for that tumultuous time. I learned a whole lot about who and what I am.
Beauty is befriending your heart.
When I lived in this isolated reality, I was free to create, come and go, and be who I pleased. I could be in denial about what I wanted. I could take accountability for what I chose. I could be selfish and uncompromising. Once I got into a relationship and had a child, the darkness really began to surface. I realized that all of my faults needed to be understood and worked through if I wanted my family to thrive. I need to be accountable for how I feel, what I think, what I say, and how I choose to behave at all times. I need to listen to my heart and know that I can do anything I say.
Know that you are the creator.
You create, define, and give life to every single thing in your reality. Self-imposed limitations are merely a form of victimization. Take back your power. The universe is a sea. It will move for you. Start doing magic! Get into ritual work! Once you begin to believe in your magic, you will begin to believe in yourself, and your self is divinely guided and sacred. All you have to do is tap in.
The universe is a sea. It will move for you.
Beauty is in the heart. Did you know that your heart literally has an electromagnetic field around it? Your heart is a magnet. It attracts the vibration that lives there. Beauty is befriending your heart. It’s recognizing your heart’s voice. It’s walking in your heart’s calling. It’s aligning with your heart’s desires. When I see people doing this, changing the world with passion and love, I swoon. It’s absolutely beautiful and breathtaking. Being the end all, be all creator and bowing in service to your heart, is beauty.
“I am that I am.”
This is the most powerful choice of words one can use. It solidifies to the universe an all-encompassing vessel. Every morning, I recite affirmations in alignment with my heart and for my highest good. They truly keep me grounded, sane, loving, and out of survival mode. Because even when we have little, we are truly abundant. Focusing on — and being grateful for — what we have, brings more of it and makes space for expansion.
Follow Diauni on Instagram @TheHeartDoula and read her blog, The Heart Doula, here.
Read The Moment That Embracing My Colors Wasn’t an Option Anymore
My favorite part of myself?
My smile. I smile uncontrollably and I think I look my best when I’m smiling. In the past I’ve worried that people would think I’m fake or not genuine because I’m always smiling, but I’ve learned to let those thoughts go, along with anyone who feels that way.
My personal style is evolving.
Right now, I’m most drawn to menswear, so that means button-down shirts and slacks with loafers or sneakers. I always like the men’s side of the store better than the women’s. I used to love tiny jewelry, the smaller and more understated the better, but now I’m having a moment with wearing big statement earrings with minimal clothing. So I would have to say my personal style is always evolving.
Childhood insecurities…I had them. Of course, didn’t we all?
I remember 5th grade was my turning point from being a confident, outgoing young girl to feeling insecurity and self-doubt. My family had just moved to the US from Oman, a country in the Middle East that at the time had no malls, no pop music radio stations, and no cable. I remember being teased for my clothes and told I looked like a clown. I couldn’t figure out where everyone was getting the same clothing and why everyone knew the same songs; it felt like I had moved from another planet. Eventually I discovered the mall and the radio, stopped wearing my old clothes and started listening to Spice Girls and memorizing the words so I could join in with the other girls.
My mom allowed me to get one Billabong sweatshirt, which I wore almost every day.
It was my security blanket for fitting in with the other kids. I was also teased and called “Miss Perfect” for being too studious, I had asked for extra writing assignments because I loved writing, but after the teasing I stopped putting so much effort into my schoolwork in an attempt to be cool. That lasted through high school. I wish I hadn’t reacted to being teased by changing or abandoning parts of myself just to fit in, but as I’ve grown older I’ve stopped shopping at malls, listening to pop radio, and embraced my ‘perfectionist,’ studious personality.
There have been small but impactful moments along the way that put me in my place when it comes to these superficial insecurities. I danced ballet in high school so I would go straight to ballet class after school for classes and rehearsals on weeknights and all weekend. Ballet is challenging when it comes to body image and self-esteem because you spend day and night in a mirrored room in skintight clothing, which is as good as being naked. You spend hours staring at your body and other girls’ bodies, all lined up in a row doing uniform movements while being poked at and prodded by instructors yelling “suck that in” and “tuck that under.” It’s not an environment that’s conducive to embracing your body’s unique features.
Ballet is challenging when it comes to body image and self-esteem because you spend day and night in a mirrored room in skintight clothing, which is as good as being naked… It’s not an environment that’s conducive to embracing your body’s unique features.
In recent years I’ve been practicing yoga and while it has its similarities–the mirrored room, the tight clothing, the rows of people creating beautiful shapes with their bodies, I’ve found the tenets of yoga to be in total opposition to everything I learned in ballet. “These postures are merely a suggestion, do what feels good for your body, it doesn’t matter what it looks like, just how it feels to you.” In yoga we practice giving gratitude to our feet for carrying us around all day, to our hands for all that they do, etc. It’s hard to hate your crow’s feet or any part of your body when you think about all of the opportunities it affords you. I’ve learned that for me gratitude is the best weapon to fight resentment or discontent with my body.
I think [the beauty industry is] marginally better than it was 10 or 15 years ago, but flip through any magazine or watch any TV show and the ads and editorials still make most of us feel ‘other.’ Growing up I used to love magazines for the style and design inspiration, but I always felt worse about my body and the way I looked after reading them. In my early 20s I chose to stop reading magazines and watching cable TV entirely, and I noticed I immediately felt significantly better about my body image. That was just my personal experience at the time, but now that I’m more informed I know there are countless academic studies that prove the negative effects that magazines and TV ads have on women’s body image.
I’ve learned that for me gratitude is the best weapon to fight resentment or discontent with my body.
Self-love is something I actively work on every day.
I love myself more now than I ever have before, but it’s taken a lot of thought work to get here. I still have a very critical inner voice that never really goes away, but for me it’s about being able to counter those negative, impulsive thoughts that originate from the left frontal lobe of the brain with more positive reasoning of the right frontal lobe. Like when I come out of a meeting thinking “you didn’t do that very well,” I try to reason with myself, “Did you prepare as much as you could? Did you give it your best effort? What went well, and what could you do differently next time?”
That negative voice of mine will probably never go away, but I’m working on building up the positive one.
This was one of my New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve been blogging about the progress I’m having changing my brain on my personal blog, Fuji Files. For me it’s about being very tuned in to my personal strengths and values. I value my curiosity, my love of learning, my appreciation of beauty, my kindness and my prudence. Having a strong grasp on these helps keep me out of the comparison trap on social media or when I’m feeling intimidated by all of the amazing women I meet and get to work with. Of course I’ll still have those thoughts, “she’s so good at that, why can’t I do that?” but instead of spiraling into a dark place with that, I just try to acknowledge that–“yes, she’s great at that, and I’m great at other things.”
I love myself more now than I ever have before, but it’s taken a lot of thought work to get here.
Being confident and comfortable with yourself creates the space and energy for you to start building others up.
When I feel insecure about myself, I’ve noticed that I become too self-involved to notice what those around me may be going through. When I think of all of the hours, months, years I spent worrying that my boobs were too small, my skin was too acne-prone and my hair was too big, I think “what a waste of time!” There’s nothing I could have done to change my body, that energy could have been spent being more productive. That’s why I think it’s worth the time investment to learn to love yourself, I think it makes you better equipped to contribute to your friends, family and the community around you.
How do you cultivate inner confidence through your ‘imperfections’?
We’d love to know. Tell us on Facebook and share your experience below.
Follow Cristina on Instagram @fujifiles
Photos by @monique_rdz
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Renee Engeln, PhD, calls it “an epidemic of beauty sickness.” I couldn’t agree more.
650x” src=”https://diana-cdn.naturallycurly.com/Articles/YT_devri-brio-Photography-2-650x.jpg”>“You have internalized this notion that your body is always on display for other people,” she mentioned in a 2013 TED Talk. “When you are beauty sick, you cannot engage with the world because between you and the world is a mirror; you cannot seem to put it down.” The author of Beauty Sick: How the Cultural Obsession With Appearance Hurts Girls and Women often refers to a woman’s self-loathing and constant need for comparison alongside other women who we perceive to be ‘beautiful’ as “self-objectifying.” From the fine, silky hair to long lashes, naturally thick brows, the perfectly chiseled cheekbones and plump lips, since childhood we have been conditioned to think that only one definition of beauty exists. And we tend to place an emphasis on outer appearance rather than studying or caring to build upon inner confidence.
To me, your soul defines your beauty.
Personally, I’ll always prefer associating with a woman who does not make me question my wardrobe choices and hairstyles while rocking her uniques one with an unphased chill that will not compromise my own over an obviously insecure and uncomfortable woman who puts down others in the process of covering up her own self-hatred. I feel vibes before I pay attention to your shoes or your physical characteristics.
Many women have allowed societal conformity pressures to live in their heads so long that, over time, they have actually convinced themselves to believe that their appearance dominates everything else and that physical ‘perfection’ is the key to success.
Be honest with yourself. Are you “beauty sick?”
There are also women who claim that magnifying the desire to be as ‘beautiful’ as possible is empowering. Having the choice of what to wear, from makeup to clothing, and feeling like the decision was made on our own with intentions of pleasing ourselves makes complete sense to me — if it were completely true. I’ve heard and seen plenty of women proclaim with an utter definitiveness that wearing heels all the time or getting botox were solely for their own desires. And I say, do what you do!
However, let’s also reflect upon each decision we make and who we are really trying to impress, here. While I do think that many women — including myself — adorn ourselves with whatever we want to with zero regard to outside opinions, the majority of women still have a distorted sense of self-worth. Many women have allowed societal pressures to conform to live in their heads so long that, over time, they have actually convinced themselves to believe that appearance dominates everything else and that physical ‘perfection’ is the key to success.
Consider your influences
Think about the shows you watch, the social media pages you follow, and the family or friend’s company you keep. If they leave you feeling more insecure at the end of each session, or thinking more about your body and less about your mind and soul, stop entertaining these things. That’s when they should stop becoming entertainment in your own life. Re-focus by replacing them with affirming podcasts and pages that will keep you on the track to positivity. I personally enjoy @soulpick, @melanin.art, Black Girl in Om, and Myleik Teele’s podcast, MyTaughtYou. The point is to surround yourself with the most well-rounded positivity as possible.
So, can physical beauty actually be a form of power… or not?
If you ask me, it all depends. Like I just mentioned, you have to sit and reflect as an individual about the sartorial choices you make on a daily basis. “What kind of power expires when you are 30?” Engeln asks. “What kind of power is inversely correlated with the attainment of wisdom and life experience?” Perhaps your craving to fit into a ‘civilized, well-mannered’ society holds too much weight and space in your brain. And if that is the case, let that dead weight go. Actually embrace what you were made to be at each moment in your life. Once you feel the release you will be able to form your own definition of beauty, you will wonder why you ever cared so much.
Read more from Devri
When Your Curl Envy Becomes Dangerous and Unhealthy | Race, Age & Beauty: Why I Think Halle Berry is the Epitome of “Fine Wine”
Follow Devri on Instagram @devrivelazquez | photos of Devri taken by @briophoto
