Search Results: Cozy Friedman

It was only a few days past Canada Day and Independence Day in the United States when the next batch of magazines began landing in my mailbox. Most of them bore some headline like this: “First Look at Fall.”

It’s pretty hard to concentrate on sweaters, tweeds and suede pumps when you’re wearing sandals, floaty skirts and light t-shirts, but the fashion industry is always months ahead of the curve. The shows for ready-to-wear fashion for the coming fall and winter started in February 2008 and continued through April.

These are a few of the looks that some of the world’s top makeup artists used at the shows in Paris, Milan, London and New York earlier this year.

Dick Page (a contributing editor at Allure and artistic director of Japanese makeup house Shiseido”> showed a smudged eye done in mixed shades of brown and black. Page tends to favor a natural, almost glowing, look for skin, with little powder and just a hint of rose blush on the cheeks.

Polly Osmond (formerly with Shu Ueumura and recently with MAC”> was doing heavier, filled-in brows for fall. She paired them with lightly shadowed eyes and a lot of mascara and cotton-candy pinks (applied with a light hand”> on lips and cheeks.

Pat McGrath (the brains behind Giorgio Armani’s makeup line and creative director at Procter & Gamble where she works on Max Factor and Cover Girl cosmetics”> also highlighted fresh, clean skin and browns for the eye. However, she chose intense matte reds for the lips at the shows she did. This can be a difficult look to pull off. Remember to exfoliate your lips before starting and fill in with pencil after lining to help the lipstick adhere. A stain like Benetint will really last if you aren’t a lipstick fan.

Besides natural and classic looks, makeup also has a fun side that was expressed by Italian makeup artist Fulvia Farolfi at the Betsey Johnson show. To work with the bright colors of Johnson’s collection, Farolfi broke the rules showing darkly smoky eyes (using sparkling black shadows and liners”> with brilliantly scarlet lips and pink cheeks. This is definitely not a look for the faint of heart!

Eyeliner is one product that seems to go on more often in the colder months and this year, Blinc, the makers of Kiss Me Mascara (the one that forms little tubes around your lashes”> have created Liquid Eyeliner (in four colors”> that supposedly “forms a water-resistant layer of color that binds to the lash line to provide a dramatic look and unparalleled hold”. But, just as with the mascara that comes off with a gentle tug, this eyeliner is supposed to peel off with warm water and gentle pressure. If you hate rubbing off eye makeup, this could be just what you’re looking for.

I change my nail color in the fall to something darker, and this year OPI has teamed up with makeup power retailer Sephora for an exclusive collection of 54 shades that includes a gorgeous deep metallic magenta called Meet For Drinks, a deep bronze named I’m With Brad (do you think Angelina will wear it?”> and a black with silver, gold and multi-colored sparkles called Never Enough Shoes (for all you Carrie Bradshaws out there”>. By the time you are reading this column, the collection will be available at Sephora online and in the stores within days.

While I hope all of us in the Northern Hemisphere aren’t pulling out our darker makeup colors until well into October, it never hurts to have a shopping list to get a jump on our fellow makeup junkies! Happy shopping!

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Contact Roquinne or read her bio.

I’ve spent my entire life living and attending school in Central New York. Although I’ve had the opportunity to travel outside of the American Northeast, the perspective with which I view the world reflects the place I grew up.

One of the best things about our generation, however, is that the Internet allows us to reach out and communicate with other teenagers, regardless of where we live on the map. Every time I get an email from a NaturallyCurly.com reader, I am reminded that no matter where you are in the world, you can always find other curly girls.

I recently got a Facebook message from Nitya, a curly girl in New Delhi, India. She wrote that she “still has moments” when she wishes that she had “’normal’ straight hair,” and she wondered if I ever feel the same way. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I have no simple answer to her simple question. I occasionally wish I had straight hair, mostly when I’m having a particularly difficult hair day. But then again, I also wish I was six feet tall when I can’t reach something on the top shelf at the grocery store. When my hair takes on a life of its own or when I’m straining to grasp something out of my reach, I wonder what it would be like if I was a little different. Occasionally I pull out a hair dryer or strap in a pair of heels and try out a new look for a bit.

While wanting an occasional change is totally okay, and doing something different with your look can be fun and interesting, I think lasting satisfaction comes from really accepting yourself. For me, it was embracing my curly hair, regardless of what the current trend may be.

While I can wax poetic about a simple question, Nitya also posed a practical one: “What would you do if you had to go on a camping trip in the wilderness . . . and you couldn’t wash your hair for four days straight?”

Last August I did just that, spending five days backpacking in the Adirondack mountains. Our strict “leave no trace” policy meant that although I swam several times during our journey, I couldn’t use soap or shampoo in the water I was swimming in. Before I left I washed and conditioned my hair and put it into two very tight French braids. Three days into my trip, when my braids began to come undone, I threw my hair up into a much-familiar bun. Although I probably looked a little rough and tumble, forsaking a shower for a few days was well worth the opportunity to camp with friends and sleep under the stars. While grungy hair is quickly forgotten, the memory of backpacking with nine other people my age will endure.

Whether you’re hiking in the Adirondacks or surfing the internet, curly girls can be found in all locations and situations. While none of us are confident one hundred percent of the time, feeling good with who you are is a heck of a lot more fun than the alternative.

Stay Curly,

Julia

Q: I am writing for hair advice for my daughter who is almost 3 years old. She has curly hair (almost ringlets!”> on the underneath part of her hair. But the top part is basically straight (sometimes it gets a wave in the humidity”>. I have thick, straight hair and I have NO idea what to do with her hair! I have tried getting it cut into layers, but it really ends up making the front part of her hair look silly. She has had bangs, with the straight sides, but again . . . kind of silly looking. As her hair continues to grow, it is getting thicker — but currently it is very soft and very rarely frizzy. She would have the most beautiful head of curls if only they were all over! As of right now I have decided to just let her hair grow (including her bangs”> to maybe get an all-one-length look that is a bit on the longer side, if possible. In this growing process, I am putting her hair into either one small ponytail of straight hair or in two pigtails. But sometimes she just likes it down.

Cozy: It is actually much more common than you think for a toddler or baby to have a combination of hair types. Eventually, her hair should even out, but in the meantime, you need to work with what you have! I think it is a good idea to grow out the bangs but I encourage you to reconsider some long layers. If you are trying to encourage a wave or curl, relieving some of the weight of the hair by using long layers may help. You are right to find styles like ponies and pigtails in the interim. Good luck!

Q:: I wonder what I can do for my daughter and would love some advice. She is almost 3, and has the most gorgeous wavy hair. People ask me if I curl it. All I do is wash it (maybe 3 times a week”>, condition and rinse and use a pick to comb through. On no-wash days, it is shiny, blond, beautiful, and just past her shoulders. She has never had a haircut or trim. I have always just used baby shampoo and conditioner. Are there better products to use that won’t sting her eyes? Would it be better if I didn’t shampoo her at all? What conditioner wash would be best for such a small child?

Cozy: You are you lucky! Your daughter’s hair sounds amazing! If your daily and weekly regimen is working so well, I wouldn’t change much. If you are looking for a conditioner for her, I think it is important to use a product that is formulated specifically for children that is enriched with vitamins, minerals and herbal extracts. Just as important as what’s in the formulation, consider what is not in the formulation. Look for formulations that are paraben-free. I recommend our Sweet Strawberry Conditioner because it is contains 11 herbal extracts, including Sweet Almond Oil and Vitamins A & E., and is paraben-free. I do recommend a trim for your daughter, even if you want to keep her hair long. Removing the damaged ends will keep hair looking healthy and will help her hair grow.

Q: If anybody is seeking the early Lucille Ball hairstyle, my 4-year-old can show you how. Apparently, you grab a bunch of 3b curls in the front of your head. Then, using highly specialized preschool safety scissors, jaggedly cut off all but an inch of hair. Pull remainder of hair into a panicked ponytail while stifling any curse words — and voila!!! “I Love Lucy”!!!?

Seriously, my daughter needs a haircut. Her hair is 3b, Lucy on top, just past shoulder in back. I’m just wanting to make the ends fall evenly. I can’t even deal with the top craziness right now. Her ends are uneven and kind of fall out and away from her back. The best way to describe it is the way curly hair looks if you’re wearing a big around-the-headband and the hair doesn’t lay on the neck because of it. Nobody has done her curls justice anyway, as far as cuts go. I could take her to my stylist, and ruin the two hours of relaxation. I’ve got hair scissors and no experience! Dangerous combo.

Cozy: Oh no! Try to resist the urge to cut it yourself and take her to a professional! It sounds like she has some real specific challenges, and you would be best off with a visit to a professional!

Q: Do you have any recommendations for what I can use on a 4-month-old baby with extremely dry scalp and skin? He is constantly scratching his poor head

Cozy: When in doubt, it’s best to have a doctor take a look to rule out any real skin concerns. I think this is especially important since you mention scalp and skin.

Q: My 7-year-old daughter has a birthday coming up and asked me to straighten her hair for her party. I know she’s just wanting a different look for her curls, and she’s never asked before so I’m inclined to do it. But I have no idea how best to do it? What products should I use? What type of brush? Do I use a flat iron on her? Will it damage her hair? Her hair is mid-back and medium/fine curls.

Cozy: It’s natural for your daughter to want to try a new look, especially at age seven. I call this the “Barbie” syndrome. It usually happens right around this age. I think it’s wonderful for you to help her and to seek out information on the best way to go about this. I wouldn’t use a flat iron. it can be very damaging to hair. For smooth straight hair, evenly apply So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream to her damp hair prior to blow drying. For best results, section her hair and work section by section. You can use a paddle brush or a big round brush for a little more volume.

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For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.

Just when I think I’ve read or heard all of the ignorant comments about nappiness and things related, I manage to stumble across something else that proves me wrong.

The latest stuck-on-stupid statement I came across appears in the book “Blue Veins and Kinky Hair: Naming and Color Consciousness in African America,” by Obiagele Lake. Lake’s book offers a historical look at the cultural background of skin color and hair issues in the African-American community.

In the book, there is a March 5, 1910, editorial written by W. Calvin Chase, founder and editor of the now defunct African-American newspaper, “The Washington Bee.” In his editorial, Chase strongly urged black women to straighten their kinky hair.

He continued his rant of “stupification” by saying that God discriminated against black women when he gave their hair a kinky texture.

Yeah, he went there.

“We say straighten our hair, ladies beautify yourselves,” he writes. “Make aggravating, reclusive, elusive, shrinking kinks, long-flowing tresses that may be coiled or curled or puffed to suit Dame Fashion’s latest millinery creations, even if it takes every ounce of hair straightening preparation that can be manufactured . . . even God, who discriminated against our women on this hair proposition, knows that straight hair beautifies a woman.

Yes, straighten your hair and do it at once.”

Brother Chase wrote the editorial in 1910 and died in 1921, which makes him conveniently unavailable to tell me what possessed him to write an editorial that is beyond bizarre.

What kept me from hyperventilating after reading it was to remind myself of the time in which it was written. Chase’s newspaper, which was established in 1888 and lasted for 40 years, was published during the heyday of Washington’s black aristocracy. It was a time when elitism and color prejudice within the race was prevalent in the nation’s capital city.

The term “blue vein” referred to blacks who were so light-skinned and so close to white that the blue veins at their wrists would show. The blue-veined folk considered themselves part of an elite upper-class society. The madness was also reflected in hair texture. Kinky hair was a definite disqualifier for inclusion.

Chase wasn’t a “blue vein,” but he was born the son of wealthy black Washingtonians and was raised as part of a privileged class. To his credit, he was a vocal critic of “color phobia,” and his writings lambasted the pretentiousness of light-skinned blacks and their discrimination of those with dark skins.

But he apparently wasn’t as passionate about hair texture.

Brother Chase’s 1910 editorial claiming that God’s blessing of kinky hair was a discriminatory act clearly shows that he was missing a few follicles.

Knowing this kept me from gagging over his words.

I wound up giggling instead.

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Contact Linda or read her bio.

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to my latest product; it’s called “Tweek”. Tweek is a hairspray in a cream form that will revive and restore curly hair the next day and the day after. Tweek brings back the bounce to curly hair, so “Plan B” days turn into “Plan A” days.

Tweek is a styling cream with just the correct strength that refreshes and supports curly hair. This non-sticky, non-greasy water-soluble product causes no damage to the hair, as it does not contain drying alcohol or silicone, which can build up on hair.

Q: I have 3B hair that goes just past my shoulders. No one in my small town knows how to cut curly hair well, and I was wondering if you have any tips on how myself or an inexperienced family member can trim it better?

Jonathan: “Not too short — it shrinks” is one of the most misunderstood statements. It can cause even a qualified professional hairstylist to make mistakes when cutting curly hair. My suggestion is that you go to a stylist armed with better information. For starters, learn to style your hair into perfect, frizz-free curls so that you will become the master of your own curls. We have created step-by-step styling videos and the appropriate products, with all sorts of styling tips and tricks, to educate you on how to achieve a great hairstyle by yourself. Then you can go to a stylist with great-looking hair, participate in the consultation and only proceed when you both understand which curls need cutting. Book and pay for a consultation only. Some salons offer free consultations. If you attempt to cut your hair yourself, you could be heading for a hair disaster that might take years to repair.

Q: I had a question about my now wavy-frizzy hair. I used to have beautiful curls, but didn’t know to care for them. I spoke with a stylist who convinced me that the best thing for me would be (Japanese”> straightening. This was about four years ago. Since then, my hair has grown back very frizzy and wavy. My curls have almost completely vanished. Could this chemical have permanently changed my hair? I appreciate any assistance; I really would love for my curls to be as they were, as I now know how to care for them.

Jonathan: I receive hundreds of emails regarding the problems people have experienced after they have had Japanese or Brazilian treatments done on their hair. You can count yourself lucky that your hair hasn’t been totally damaged! Your natural curl formation has been lost, and until your new hair grows back, I would like to suggest you do the best you can using the following method:

• Drench your wet hair with Curl Keeper from roots to ends so that when you squeeze your hair, your hair drips and makes a “squishy” sound.
• “Squish” vigorously all over — at least thirty squishes. The more you squish, the deeper the “S” formation will be on a curl.
• Then, to avoid frizz, allow your hair to dry as much as possible on its own. The Curl Keeper will duplicate the same frizz control you saw when your hair was wet and will allow your “new” curl formation to return.

So remember to use lots of Curl Keeper and lots of “squishing.” To speed up the drying time, learn how to use a diffuser properly.

Q: It’s so frustrating! Most of my hair curls perfectly, but I have a few curls that turn out weird. There will be a few loops, and suddenly, instead of looping over, it’s like it has grown straight for an inch, which makes a weird “U” between the curls, and then it starts curling again. I notice this happens especially with the curls around my forehead. What gives? Am I not styling my hair properly, or do the curls there just grow in an odd pattern?

Jonathan: If unmanageable curls have not been caused by the overuse of flat ironing, the problem of thin, weird, unruly curl patterns can be easily solved. When a curl forms into a ringlet, it’s called a grouping. The more hair that is grouped together, the thicker and looser the ringlet will form. So while your hair is wet, distribute Curl Keeper everywhere from roots to ends. Then you can group your unmanageable, unpredictable, weird curls together with your really normal curls and Curl Keeper will set your hair in exactly the way you would like your curls to look. You should never have this problem again.

Q: I believe my hair to be 3a. I have nice, loose-ish, soft curls pretty much everywhere EXCEPT my crown area, which I understand is typically the curliest spot. If you took your hand and placed it in the middle of the back of my head with the top of your fingers, that is the flat area. I’ve tried all different products, scrunching, etc. The only thing I haven’t tried is blow drying, which I’d really like not to get into. I used to be the cut-the-curls-out kind of guy, but the last time I had long hair, I did not have this problem. I have a great salon professional, who will brick the area a bit to try to add some texture and it definitely makes it less flat. But it’s still not curly like the rest of my head. Drives me nuts! The curly part of my hair is very responsive to any good curl product. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!

Q: One of the challenges of having curly hair is to learn to deal with a variety of different curl textures on one head. Many conditions can cause curls to change, including the weather, hormones or other medical reasons. Controlling the frizz is easy with the help of Curl Keeper. However, learning how to manipulate independent curls may take a lesson or two. I suggest using either a bone comb with small teeth or a root brush, as they both lift and support volume at the root area. Together with a generous amount of Curl Keeper, continuously comb through over and over again. This will soon regroup the fluffier, tighter curls where you want them. The curls will stay flatter as long as you remain quite still as your hair starts to dry on its own. I recommend that you grow some longer pieces and perhaps the extra length will weigh down the tighter curls.

As the weather is warming up, I really don’t feel like diffusing. The problem is that when I air dry, my curls are kinda limp and lack volume so they look “bleh” and I don’t like it! Got any suggestions?

The best way to control and style your hair properly is always to allow your hair to dry on its own. The less movement, the better it is for controlling frizz. Our clients who use diffusers to enhance the volume of looser curls have learned how to use our roller clamps. The roller clamps will prevent the heaviness of wet hair from weighing down and loosening the curls on top of your head. So, after you have applied the correct amount of Curl Keeper and done the best “squishing” and preparation, you can clamp the curls on top of your head and allow your hair to dry on its own. Periodically, as your hair begins to dry, rearrange the roller clamps for a more natural set. You will have bouncy, frizz-free, designer curls in all the right places.

Q: My hair is a medium brown. At the very front of my head, my roots were a little bit dirty blond. Now it looks like its spreading down a little ways and I like how it looks. So I’m thinking about getting dirty blond highlights. What do you think? Should I get permanent, demi or semipermanent?

Jonathan: Lightening your hair can be easily accomplished as long as your hairstylist understands how to control the gold color tones. When your stylist understands how to control unwanted brassiness, your color will look bright, shiny and healthy. It is up to you to maintain your colored curls with the proper pH balance of products. To achieve lighter colors, you have to use permanent color. The stronger the formula, the lighter the color will be. However, the more damaging, stronger color can affect the condition of curly hair. Some super-strong, lighter colors can actually straighten and break curly hair, which will look awful and take a long time to fix. I strongly recommend going to a qualified, licensed professional for your chemical processing.

By now you are probably familiar with my writing here on NaturallyCurly. I’m the herbalist contributor who writes plant monographs on various medicinal botanicals and natural products used in hair and skin care which hold benefits specific to curly hair. I write about the familiar ingredients popping up in beauty products — ingredients like avocado, murumuru, acai, neroli and bitter orange tree.

I listen to you, the readers, to find out what you’re seeing on the beauty shelves and what it is you seek to learn more about. At the same time, I have my own personal interests in botanicals from continental Africa — Earth-friendly products that are sustainable and that help communities economically.

Recently, a tree has come across my radar that is garnering attention on the international marketplace, especially in the UK. You might not have heard about it yet. This is a tree whose products are truly deserving of room on your health and beauty shelves. Meet Kigeli-Keia — also known as sausage or cucumber tree.

A truly fascinating specimen, sausage tree is a tropical species occurring in the eastern part of South Africa — for example, Swaziland, Namibia, Mozambique, Zimbabwe and northwards as far as Tanzania. It is called Nufuten in Ghana, and grows on banks or close to rivers and large streams elsewhere in tropical Africa from Eritrea to Chad and west to Senegal. Many trees that grow near water are held in awe by traditional healers in various parts of Africa, the Caribbean and Americas as holding holistic healing potential. As we take this journey into the realm of Kigeli-Keia, it is important to note that the tree growing on this terrain shows exceptional healing potential.

Growth and Habit

The tree is fairly erect, not branching a great deal. Where it does branch, the tips of the branches remain very thick, giving it a somewhat stout appearance. The sausage tree is a deciduous fruit-bearer that sheds its leaves in late autumn or winter, depending on moisture. Flowers are a spectacular dark red. In spring, they open, living as long as two months. They are set in whorls of three on a central rachis.

Sausage-shaped fruit grows up to 10 centimeters in diameter. It is dull greenish-grey, hard and very heavy. Fruit hangs from a very long, sturdy stalk, and falls in March and April. The pod-like fruits remains on the ground many months.

Chemical Constituents

Kigeli-Keia offers a number of beneficial effects for kinky, curly and wavy hair. It is a natural conditioning treatment that deters eczema. Creams or pomades featuring high concentrations of this elixir minimize the rashes that arise from shaving the hair line, when wearing hair close-cropped yet curly.

Kigeli-Keia can be used to treat burns that come from chemical or heat straighteners of hair. It contains natural pain relievers. It can be useful for very tight braids, extensions, twists, knot styles — also on the shoulders and hands of the braider or stylist.

Scientists analyze the chemical constituents of the various tree parts and run tests to isolate the specific beneficial qualities of this tree’s constituents and to understand its lengthy use as an important traditional healer’s tree medicine. They have found it contains:

• Napthaquinones (including kigelinone”>
• EFAs (including vernolic acid”>
• Courmarins (including kigelin”>
• Iridoids
• Caffeic acid
• Norviburtinal
• Sterols (sitosterol and stigmasterol”>; Steroids have been used to treat skin disorders such as eczema
• Flavonoids: luteolin and 6 hydroxluteiolin; have hygroscopic and fungicidal properties
• Anecdotal evidence suggests skin cancer use and Kaposi sarcoma (an HIV-related skin ailment”> treatment
• Antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties
• Anti-malarial, anti-bacterial, anti-viral

Traditional Black South African Uses

South African people have a long history of using this tree to fight, treat, soothe, attract or deter:

• Fungal infections
• Skin treatment: eczema, psoriasis, boils
• Serious skin ailments, such as leprosy
• Ringworm and tapeworm
• Post-partum hemorrhaging
• Diabetes
• Pneumonia
• Toothache
• Tonga women use it as a cosmetic against sun and anti-aging properties
• Used to promote Aphrodisiac qualities
• Fruit is used to ferment beer
• Leaves are livestock fodder
• Wild animal food: monkeys, parrots, baboons, elephants, etc.,
• Treatment for piles (boiled roots, stem, and bark”>
• Against gonorrhea (decoction of bark”>
• Wash to treat rheumatism

Products Containing Kigeli-keia

A.E Hobbs Ltd. Shampoo

A.E. Hobbs Ltd. Scalp Application

BioBotanica Skin Care with Kigelia Extract

BioBotanica Sun Care with Kegelia Extract

Cellex-C Under Eye Toning Gel

Enriched Pure Olive Kegelia Body Silk Spritz

Kigelia Cream for Psoriasis, Eczema, Cancer Recovery

Kigelia Pure Gel for Acne, Eczema, Dermatitis

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Stephanie Rose Bird is an artist and writer. She is the author of Sticks, Stones, Roots & Bones: Hoodoo, Mojo & Conjuring with Herbs and Four Seasons of Mojo: An Herbal Guide to Natural Living.

She also hosts a Yahoo study and practice group based on her writing here.

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Home page image by J.M. Garg.

Michelle Obama wears her hair in flips and bobs reminiscent of Kennedy First Lady Jackie O and of June Cleaver, the ’60s suburban housewife of “Leave It to Beaver” fame.

In her own role as potential First Lady, Michelle Obama’s hair is politically correct.

America expects the wife of Barack Obama, the man who wants to be president, to project an image of sophistication and near perfection. That image includes having hair that doesn’t make waves.

“As potentially half of the public face of America, Ms. Obama in locks or cornrows would be a bit too ‘in your face,’ even with her Harvard degree and her attorney status,” says Arizona State University English Professor Neal A. Lester, who studies African-American literature and culture and has written about black hair issues.

Mainstream America considers styles that reflect the European aesthetic more acceptable and less likely to offend. Hairstyles with African roots don’t get the same respect. To say someone has a nappy head is considered an insult, and the word “nappy,” which merely describes the kinky texture of hair, is practically considered a profanity. In polite circles, the word is euphemistically referred to as “natural.”

Natural hair wearers have seen their politics, patriotism and even their hygiene come under attack. Their Afros, braids, locks and twists have been considered unprofessional, and many who have worn the styles have been demoted or have lost their jobs. Wearers of natural hairstyles also have not escaped being labeled subversive or being perceived as social misfits.

The media is fully aware of how certain hairstyles worn by African-Americans can feed negative stereotypes.

Case in point. The July 21 issue of “The New Yorker” magazine has on its cover a satirical cartoon showing Barack Obama dressed in Muslim garb as a way of suggesting that he is a terrorist. Michelle, his wife, is depicted wearing combat boots and fashionable fatigues, toting an AK-47 and bumping fists with her husband in an African-American salute of solidarity known as “the dap.” The hairstyle that cartoonist Barry Blitt choose to round out Michelle’s angry-black-radical-and-revolutionary woman’s image is a billowing Afro, a la Angela Davis.

Michelle Obama’s real life hairstyle plays it safe. Intended or unintended, it is decidedly apolitical.

“This is no different from Condoleezza Rice and her visits to the beauty salon for her perms these many years,” says Lester of Arizona State.

“There is a reason that Oprah, Beyonce, Mo’Nique, Patti LaBelle, Tyra, and Queen Latifah haven’t gone the way of Whoopi Goldberg. The reason is that there is clearly a public persona that makes these women culturally less threatening with straightened hair.

“I am not saying that these women are betraying their blackness. I am saying that the pattern of self-acceptance has not made its way into the realm of unstraightened hair.”

Elizabeth Wellington, fashion columnist for the Philadelphia Inquirer, describes Michelle Obama’s hairstyle as “nebulous.”

“It can be the style of a Democrat or a Republican,” says Wellington who is African-American and happens to wear locks. “If she wore her hair naturally, it would freak out segments of America. Her hairstyle is what people think is acceptable, even black people. Locks and natural hair do not carry that kind of cache.”

Despite longstanding negative perceptions about natural hairstyles, prominent black female politicians have sported the look over the years and kept their seats. In the UK, Dawn Butler and her locks have served on the British Parliament since 2005. In the U.S., Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick, chairwoman of the Congressional Black Congress, had a long run with cornrows before going back to a relaxed style. And several other longtime members wear or have worn Afrocentric styles. D.C. Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton and the late Texas representative Barbara Jordan dared to wear Afros during the 1970s, when the style was widely viewed as a symbol of militancy and an unabashed expression of cultural pride. Norton, who still remains firmly rooted in Congress, has even touted the virtues of wearing natural hair publicly.

“Nothing is more liberating than letting your hair be naturally what your hair is,” she said during a National Public Radio interview several years ago.

The signature natural hairstyle of Cynthia McKinney, the first African-American woman elected to Congress from Georgia, was two thick braids wrapped around her head. Washington Post Fashion columnist Robin Givhan has suggested that McKinney, who is savvy to the politics of black hair, used that particular style to project a certain image.

“The style seemed calculated to portray her as the underdog,” Givhan wrote in a column about her last year. She wrote that McKinney’s style was “purposefully out of fashion. Aggressively not slick, ostentatiously humble.”

When McKinney finally retired her braids and started wearing a natural “twist out” style, the litany of comments on blogs and in the media were derogatory and laced with harsh racial overtones.

One of the most offensive remarks was made by syndicated radio commentator and Libertarian Neal Boortz.

During comments about an incident (March 29, 2007″> in which McKinney reportedly struck a Capitol Hill police officer while trying to pass a security checkpoint, Boortz said that her new hairdo made her “look like a ghetto slut.”

As much as natural hairstyles get people all worked up, there is no evidence that political wives who wear them can derail their husband’s political aspirations.

Philadelphia’s personable First Lady Lisa Nutter, who has been described as a woman with class, wore locks while her husband Michael served on the city council and didn’t bother to cut or conceal them when he decided to run for mayor. He won handily, and when African-American women of power, influence and success are mentioned in the media, Lisa’s name has shared billing with the likes of Oprah and Michelle.

To roughly paraphrase a line by songstress India.Arie, Michelle is not her hair.

Whether she continues to flaunt the flip like First Lady Kennedy during the presidential campaign or decides to start locks like the First Lady in Philly, her real character should not be superficially determined by what she wears on top of her head.

It should be determined by the intelligence that dwells within it.

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Linda Jones is a regular contributor to NaturallyCurly, writing a monthly column called Naturally Speaking.

Photo illustrations here and on home page by Dale Roe.

Recently, I wrote a column about how kitchens are perceived by black women who were born with nappy hair. As a confirmed napologist, I felt it necessary to enlighten my readers by putting the kitchen into its proper cultural context.

I explained that for many black women born with nappy hair, the kitchen is not just a place where food is cooked but it was the place where our hair was cooked. When we were young, the kitchen was where we went to undergo the unpleasant ritual of having our nappy hair straightened with the dreaded hot comb.

But if I am to stay true to my side profession I cannot stop there. The kitchen has still another cultural connotation for people with nappy hair.

The kitchen, dear readers, is also the nickname for the hair that resides at the nape of our necks. It is the place where our most rebellious kinks congregate. Hair that takes root and grows in our kitchens is the nappiest, curliest, kinkiest and the most resistant to change.

We already know that in unenlightened circles, nappiness is viewed as an unacceptable hair texture and the word “nappy” is a pejorative term. In that context, you can imagine how much our nappy kitchens are viewed with disdain. Those of us who are deeply afflicted with nap denial have gone through great lengths to obliterate that shameful section of our heads. If it took a double dose of chemicals or removal by razor to keep our kitchens in the closet, it was worth it.

But negative perceptions notwithstanding, the kitchen was a powerful place.

It was the area that my mother struggled with most during my hot comb rite of passage. While the hair on the rest of my head readily surrendered to the smoking hot comb, my kitchen did not give up without a fight.

I have a name of honor for my kitchen hair. I call it “Nap Turner.” My Nap Turner hair reminds me of the heroic slave Nat Turner who rebelled against oppression. “Nap Turner,” my nappy “hairo,” righteously rebels against being o-pressed by hot combs and chemical relaxers.

Even the nap-savvy Afro pick has lost a few teeth during expeditions into our kitchens. And pity our love partners of another hue who expected smooth sailing when they tried to run their fingers through our hair. When they passionately navigated their way into the density of our kitchens they were unexpectedly thrown off “coarse.” Much like disappearing into the void of the Bermuda Triangle, those probing fingers got forever lost in the kitchen kink!

Our kitchens have been such a deeply rooted institution that they have even commanded the respect of the Ivy League. Henry Louis Gates Jr., the esteemed Harvard professor, paid homage in his memoir, “Colored People.”

“If there was ever one part of our African past that resisted assimilation, it was the kitchen,” Brother Gates proclaims. “No matter how hot the iron, no matter how powerful the chemical, no matter how stringent the mashed-potatoes-and-lye formula of a man’s “process,” neither God nor woman nor Sammy Davis Jr., could straighten the kitchen.

The kitchen was permanent, irredeemable, invincible kink. Unassimilably African. No matter what you did, no matter how hard you tried, nothing could de-kink a person’s kitchen.”

How’s that for validation?

If a Harvard intellectual can celebrate the wonderful condition of our kitchens then why should we take heat from those who don’t have a clue?

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Contact Linda or read her bio.

Q: Do you have recommendations on what to use on a 4-month-old baby with extremely dry scalp and skin? He is constantly scratching his poor head.

Cozy: I recommend that you discuss skin and scalp problems with a doctor. This doesn’t sound like an issue relating to the baby’s hair.

Q: My daughter is 2 1/2 years old and is a 4b. I’ve tried a variety of products on her hair in order to achieve various pigtails, ponytails and knotted styles, but I there are times when I want for her scalp to rest. What is a good product to use when her hair is wet to achieve great curl definition and reduce shrinkage so that her curls can hang loose?

Cozy: You need a great alcohol-free styling gel like So Cozy Groovy Grape Styling Gel. Just as important as the product is the way that you use the product. After bathing, wring out the excess moisture from hair. Do not brush or comb hair. Scrunch in a generous amount of gel evenly throughout her hair. Let her hair dry naturally or use a diffuser. After doing this a few times, her hair will get used to drying with the natural curl definition.

Q: My little girl is 2 years old, and the last few times I have washed her hair, so much hair comes out. Is this normal? It is pretty tangled, but I never comb through it without the conditioner in it, and I ordered the wide-tooth comb from this website.

Cozy: A small amount of hair loss is normal, but if you think her hair loss is more than normal, you should definitely talk with her doctor. If she is losing the hair when you are detangling, you should re-evaluate your detangling techniques. Using a wide-toothed comb with conditioner is a great way to detangle. Just make sure that you are sectioning hair into 1-inch segments and starting from the bottom of the hair strand. Work one inch at a time, moving up as you go, gradually working your way around the head.

Q: My daughter has curly hair and it tangles so easily. What products do you suggest?

Cozy: For extremely tangled hair, I recommend So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangler. This product was designed to be used in the tub with a wide-tooth comb. Apply a liberal amount after shampooing and then section hair into 1 inch segments. Starting from the bottom of the hair strand, work one inch at a time, moving up as you go, gradually working your way around the head. For detangling between baths, use So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler on wet or dry hair. Just remember to start at the bottom of the hair strand and to work in small sections.

Q: After one year at school, my 6-year-old daughter totally hates her hair. How can I give her back her self esteem?

Cozy: Accepting yourself the way you are is a problem for most people, and unfortunately it is occurring at such an early age these days. My advice is the same for your daughter as it is for all people. Learn to appreciate yourself for who you are! As her mom, it is important for you help her learn this lesson.. You can help her learn to appreciate her hair by working with her to style her hair in a way that she will fell good about it. I have very vivid memories of spending hours and hours blow drying my curly hair straight as a kid. Then, the minute I would walk outside in humid weather, frizz! I wish that I had learned how to embrace my curls then, rather than always worrying about my hair frizzing and feeling self conscious about it.

Q: This summer, my 7-year-old will be going from camp to camp — horseback riding, swimming, etc. — and her long curls tend to get tangled easily. What are some products, styles, etc. that can help make all of our lives easier. We don’t want to cut it short because it’s actually more difficult to deal with.

Cozy: Don’t cut her hair! Long hair can be much easier than short hair. Before she leaves for camp, practice a few different easy styles that she will be able to manage. Try ponies, pigtails and possibly even a loose braid, if you think she can manage it. Perhaps she can learn how to braid and teach others so they can braid each other’s hair! One last trick: sleeping with a loose pony or braid will prevent tangles that happen during sleep.

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For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.

It’s July and summer’s in full swing! Summer, for me, means being outdoors. This year I’ve been riding my bike more then ever, and the beautiful weather we’re enjoying in the Northeast feels like nature begging me to come outside.

The time I’ve spent on a bike and under the sun make me realize that (gasp!”> there are a few things that are more important than hair.

Let me explain. I’m talking about our health, and specifically the way that hats and helmets can help keep us protected. Whether the culprit is sun or concrete, hats and helmets keep us safe in the summer months.

The other day, after a minor bike accident, I asked my father why people put such an emphasis on wearing helmets. After all, if I fall off my bike my hands and knees are the most likely to hit the ground, not my head.

“A head injury can kill you,” he said, “And no one ever died of a broken wrist.” I would know, I’ve had two.

I know a helmet isn’t very conducive to frizz-free curls. Between cycling in the summer and downhill skiing in the winter I wear a helmet quite a bit. When I’m teaching skiing, “helmet head” is one of my more frequent hairstyles.

Unlike our straight haired peers, once our hair gets messy, no brush can detangle it. But while helmets may squash our hairdos, they protect something that’s much more important — our heads. Last year 67,000 people went to the emergency room with head injuries sustained while riding a bike, according to the Bicycle Helmet Safety Institute.

While I think my curly hair is a reflection of my lively personality, I know that personality might not be the same if I sustained a serious head injury.

While a helmet protects your brain, a hat can actually protect your hair. I noticed how hot my dark hair gets when I’m out in the sun — especially on the crown. Thinking that this can’t be good, I did some research. Dr. John Gray from the P&G Hair Care Research Center writes that ultraviolet light weakens the protein our hair is made of, called keratin. The sun actually breaks down hair at a molecular level! Harsh sunlight also sucks moisture from your hair’s cuticle as well as from your scalp. While there are hair products out there that contain low amounts of SPF, I prefer to pull on a cute summer hat or my Red Socks baseball cap.

In most of my columns I write about tips and tricks for keeping your hair looking its best. I this column, however, I hope I’ve convinced you that you can get the most enjoyment from your fabulous curls if you protect them, along with your head!

Stay Curly,

Julia

This summer, I had the opportunity to take an amazing road trip back to my hometown, Cheraw, S.C. I also exercised my naturally curly ambassador skills.

This was a special trip for me because my little brother was graduating from high school. I hadn’t been home in three years

Most people know nothing about Cheraw, so I always make it a point to give a little history lesson.. Cheraw is the prettiest town in Dixie. Cheraw is hometown of legendary trumpeter Dizzy Gillespie. Our state bird is the Carolina Wren and our flag is the sweetest of all — a Palmetto tree with a crescent moon.

My trip back to South Carolina was remarkable. You really don’t get to appreciate a place until you leave and come back. From the moment I arrived in Cheraw I felt like I was in a time warp. Everything and everyone was the same, down to the magnets on my parent’s refrigerator. The people all looked the same besides some gray hair and few extra pounds. You know people in the South can cook, so the food festivities were my favorite. Everyone kept looking at me saying, “ You need to eat. You’re looking so skinny.” I gently replied, “No, I eat healthy now. What you are witnessing is what a healthy body should look like.”

The good thing about it was that I truly felt like I was at home. The pine trees were green and the smell was crisp. The humidity was at an all time sticky high. The Wal-Mart and Micky Dee’s were still major landmarks. My best friend in grade school’s parents still lived in the pretty blue house on Campbell road. Not much had changed!

After my brother’s graduation, my parents had a pool party at their house. There were lots of folks there from the where church I grew up. I got a lot of funny stares because of my wild hair. I was surrounded by quite a conservative group of people. I arrived with my hair naturally free so that everyone could see how comfortable I am with my life right now.

One of my favorite Aunties, Yvonne, was quite intrigued by my hair style. She sat beside me on the couch and said: “I want to talk to you about your hair. How did you get it like that? Did you use some sort of machine? I love it so much.” I began to laugh and I said: “Thank you and no this was not done by a machine. I twist my hair myself. It takes about three hours, but it is so worth it.” She said: “My hair could never look like that, plus I’m scared to wear it like that. What will the other sisters at church say? I always wear a hat when I don’t have time to straighten it.” I replied, “First of all, why are you worrying about what other people say about your hair? Do what makes you feel good. In fact, you have an amazing grade of hair. Why the heck are you straightening it?”

After talking for two hours with my Aunt Yvonne, I realized that because naturally curly hair is not considered mainstream, she had lost the confidence to just go for it! She expressed that she always wanted to wear her hair naturally curly and envied the women on TV and in the magazines who wore their hair this way. Since my Auntie was so curious, I encouraged her to use the Jane Carter products she already had in her house. She was very fond of The Jane Carter Solution Nourish & Shine because it helped with her heat-damaged hair. She said, “I love that it makes my hair so soft.” I talked her through the process of twisting her hair with a little help from Jane Carter Solution Natural Hold Spray Gel. I even wrote down all the details, step by step, on a sheet of paper. I also expressed to her the value of NaturallyCurly.com as a one-stop-shop to naturally curly hair. She couldn’t wait to go back to North Carolina and try it out. She was happy.

At the end of our conversation, I told her: “Be brave. The next time I see you I want to see you naturally curly and free.”

I felt all grown up giving advice to someone who always gave me advice. I’m delighted to be a naturally curly Ambassador. I feel like I am changing lives, one curl and kink at a time. Dizzy Gillespie would be proud of me for being a naturally curly activist in our little Dixie town.

One early spring day in April, a co-worker returned from a week’s vacation in Florida and asked me if it looked like she had a tan. “No,” I replied and then said to her, “that’s not good for you.”

“I don’t care,” she said to me, “I want a tan.”

I looked her straight in the eye and said, “It’s a good thing Sarah isn’t around to hear you say that.”

Her face fell as she whispered, “I totally forgot.”

Our co-worker, Sarah Toller died of melanoma at the age of 30 less than a year before, and already the warnings that she expressed on her blog had been forgotten by some of the people who missed her. Over the past winter, more than a few of the women in our office returned from sunnier climes with noticeably darkened skin, and in one case, a horrendous sunburn that blistered within days of her return.

The sneers and jeers (“Why don’t you just wear an asbestos suit?””> directed at my personal precautions (sunscreen, big dark glasses, long sleeves, parasols”> are disheartening, but so is reading some of the “un-sun-safe” things that other members of this website do. (“Put sunscreen on your eyelids so that if you fall asleep in the sun, they won’t get burnt.””>

It’s two years since I last wrote a “summer sunscreen rant,” so here is some of the more up-to-date information available on sun exposure from various studies:

Tanning Beds

The International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC, a branch of the World Health Organization”> conducted a thorough review of all available worldwide data — 19 international studies — and found a strong association between tanning-bed use and melanoma risk. Across all age groups, males and females who have ever used tanning beds have a 15 percent higher risk of developing melanoma. More alarming still, people who first use a tanning bed before age 35 increase their risk for melanoma by 75 percent.*

Vitamin D

Vitamin D is a fat-soluble vitamin necessary for calcium absorption, bone growth, and in assisting our immune systems in fighting off infections — including cancers. Up to age 50, 200 IUs is a sufficient daily dose for women and men. As vitamin D is not naturally found in many foods, vitamin supplements are required. Most milk sold in North America is fortified with vitamin D, as are some brands of orange juice. A tablespoon of cod liver oil provides 340 percent of the daily requirement of the vitamin and a standard serving of most fish will provide an adequate supply.

Sun exposure also provides vitamin D as UVB exposure stimulates dehydrocholesterol in our skin to convert to the vitamin. However, depending on your skin tone, the amount of time you need to be in the sun without protection (during the peak hours”> can be as little as 5 minutes twice a week, and up to 30 minutes twice a week for people with the darkest skin tones.

According to the Office of Dietary Supplements of the National Institutes of Health in the United States: “Sunscreens with a sun protection factor of 8 or more appear to block vitamin D-producing UV rays, although in practice people generally do not apply sufficient amounts, cover all sun-exposed skin, or reapply sunscreen regularly. Skin likely synthesizes some vitamin D even when it is protected by sunscreen as typically applied.”

The study goes on to say: “It is not known whether a desirable level of regular sun exposure exists that imposes no (or minimal”> risk of skin cancer over time.” **

Mineral Makeup

More than a few members here say that they don’t use sunscreen on their faces — in fact, they don’t need it at all because their mineral makeup has SPF in it (most of them contain titanium dioxide”>. Titanium dioxide and/or zinc oxide are barrier chemicals found in several sun protection products on the market, most notably Ombrelle.

However, there is simply not even close to an adequate amount of either chemical or mineral foundation to supply sun protection to the level indicated by the SPF rating on the product. In the May issue of Allure in the article “Sun Daze”, Dr. Leslie Baumann was quoted as saying that with respect to powders with SPF, it would take 14 times more powder than one would usually wear in order to get the stated SPF protection. With cream and liquid foundations, one would need to apply 7 times as much.

I tracked Dr. Baumann down at her office at the University of Miami where she is the Director of the Cosmetic Medicine Group. I wanted to ask her if this included mineral foundation or just face powders with SPF in them. Her reply:

“Yes, this is true of mineral makeup as well. I would love help getting this info out.”

Dr. Baumann, I’m more than happy to help spread the word. A separate sunscreen is required even if you wear mineral makeup. Check out her site for more information.

Lip gloss causes cancer

You might have seen the headlines on CNN at the end of April; I know I did: “Lip gloss may pose cancer risk.”

Before you throw away $500 worth of MAC LipGlass (okay, $600 worth”>, the truth is that the gloss itself is not cancer-causing. The problem is that most gloss products have no SPF in them at all and the shininess acts like a magnifying glass, intensifying the sun’s rays on the part of your body where the skin is the thinnest and most vulnerable to damage.

“Cancer occurring on the lower lip can be much more aggressive than other forms of skin cancer and there is the potential for spread to nearby lymph nodes. Any changes to the color of the lip, especially if the lip turns white or opaque, should be checked immediately by a dermatologist as should any persistent flaking or peeling on the lips.” ***

Using a gloss over a full-color lipstick (not a glaze or sheer formula”> is one way to protect your lips. Or you could layer your gloss over a lip balm containing SPF like Blistex Clear Advance or Ultra Protection, Ombrelle Lip Balm, and Chapstick Ultra. Banana Boat, Hawaiian Island Creations, Carmex and SoftLips all make balms with SPF too. Many more can be found at Drugstore.com, often on sale.

Enjoy the sun safely this summer; follow the prevention tips of the Skin Cancer Foundation.

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Contact Rou or read her bio.

Q: My 3 year old has very fine, wavy hair — still sort of baby hair. She absolutely hates to have it brushed or combed, but she tolerates the hair washing well. I am wondering if there is some kind of product I can put in during the bath that will prevent it from ending up fly-away and messy looking.

Cozy: That’s great that she doesn’t mind shampooing. That’s more than half the battle! I’d say that if she’s comfortable in the tub, you are smart to look for ways to maximize that. After shampooing, try So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangling Treatment in the tub with a wide-tooth comb. Not only does it gently remove tangles, but it helps to prevent flyaway hair. As for keeping it neat looking, pulling it back and out of her face with a cute clip may be your best bet until she passes through this phase.

Q: My eldest daughter (9 1/2″> has almost waist length, extremely thick hair. It used to be totally straight. About a year ago, I noticed waves/ripples appearing. I noticed a little spiral at the front today. At the moment, she is still using shampoo and conditioner, and brushing it in the morning. Her hair gets quite greasy at the roots and her hair has to be tied back for school. It isn’t frizzy at the moment but am just wondering if I should be doing anything differently?

Cozy: You know what they say: “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it!” If her hair isn’t frizzy, then I wouldn’t worry about doing something differently. For greasy hair, try washing it daily, gently massaging the scalp with your fingers to spread the suds around. If you would like to enhance her waves, you should consider a haircut with long layers. Heavy hair weighs down the curls, preventing the “bounce.” Your best bet is to talk with a stylist and get recommendations.

Q: I am mom to 4-year-old Paige, who has long very fine frizzy curly/wavy hair. I’m not sure if she is a 2b or 3a because the underneath part of her hair is curly (including ringlets”>, but the top is wavy. It’s a real nightmare! It always looks messy and I really need some advice about what products I can use to enhance the curl and combat frizzies. Should have it cut in a different style to enhance the curl? I haven’t got curly hair so I haven’t got a clue.

Cozy: Frizz occurs when the hair cuticle is ruffled. This is often caused by brushing curly hair. Curly haired people shouldn’t brush their hair. Instead, try this after bathing: “Scrunch” So Cozy Groovy Grape Styling Gel into Paige’s hair. Let it dry naturally or with a diffuser. Her curls will be enhanced and frizz-free! As for her hair style, you should talk with an experienced stylist who can recommend a proper style for her hair type and face shape.

Q: I am the mom of 5-year-old Audrey. She has 3b/3c tight curls, but I am a dead-straight-haired Asian mom. I only comb her hair with my fingers, but she still hates it. It’s so dry here in Colorado, and it seems I have to have to comb it twice a day to make it look okay. It is SO hard to style her hair, and her hair seems to break off easily. I think she needs a haircut, but I don’t know where to take her. Any ideas?

Cozy: A proper haircut is critical for curly hair. Try asking friends and people you meet whose hair is similar to Audrey’s where they go for haircuts. A personal recommendation is always preferable. Why does she hate it when you comb her hair? Is it tangled? Is it uncomfortable for her? I recommend that you use So Cozy Lucky Lime PreDetangling Treatment while bathing. After shampooing, apply a generous amount and then comb through with a wide-toothed comb. The comb should glide right through her hair. She will probably even enjoy it!

Q: So after seven years of watching other parents deal with lice, my daughter came home with it. She has thick, long curly hair and it seems nearly impossible to get a comb through it. Any suggestions?

Q: Anything I can do to prevent lice so I never have to do this again? Anyone who has ever dealt with lice will tell you that it’s a nightmare. Prevention is definitely key! Use BOO! Shampoo & Conditioner. It scares away lice naturally! Boo is infused with pure tea tree oil, which is the known strongest natural lice repellent there is. It works the way citronella works to prevent mosquitoes. Lice are repelled by the scent of tea tree oil. If you use BOO! daily, you should be safe.

Q: I’m in middle school with 3b/3c mid-back length hair. I wore my hair down to school for pretty much the first time, and in the morning it looked so good. But I put it up later because it was too big and poofyish. So how big would you say is too big?

Cozy: There is no right or wrong answer about your hair style. Style is a very personal thing, and everyone has their own ideas and preferences. The important thing is for you to be happy with how your hair looks. When you say “poofy,” do you mean frizzy? Do your curls remain in all day or do they get frizzy and fuzzy? Try using So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream after you dry your hair. That should help to control your hair and prevent the “poof.”

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For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.

In my column last month, I wrote a bit about women who I call Adult Survivors of the Hot Comb or ASH-C (Ashy”> for short.

ASH-C women were born with kinky hair, are mainly of African descent, and their childhood rite of passage included sitting in the kitchen getting their hair straightened with the dreaded hot comb. I mentioned in the column that while those hair grooming sessions were traumatic and near torturous, our elders administered the painful procedures as acts of love. They wanted us to be beautiful, even if they had to burn the beauty into us.

Apparently I have a number of ASHy readers. I received flattering responses about the column and some took the time to share their own experiences of their sessions with the “kitchen beauticians.”

“Thanks for that, my sistuh,” writes Ife Mahdi, a poet and administrative assistant from Dallas. “It takes me back. And like you said, those sessions, though misguided, were fraught with mama love. I cannot begin to describe the safety and love I felt as my mama slathered Dixie Peach (hair grease”> on my hair. Then came the snap, crackle, pop of the black straightening comb as it glided through my head. She was mostly careful, but on those occasions when she ‘slipped,’ that black comb would sizzle into the side of my neck and some major trauma would occur. I was ‘tenderheaded.’ My hair was very defiant, resistant, and waged its own revolution. It was sayin, ‘Hell no, I won’t go!’ And no matter how many of those high-powered down-to-the scalp burns I would get, my hair refused to stand up straight. Instead it would ‘go back,’ back to Africa, where it belonged.”

Like Ife, Allison Neal of Richardson, Texas, also understood the loving intent behind the “torture.”

“These acts were of parental care, concern and regard,” Allison writes. “Ironically, for many of us, without the weekly ritual of getting our hair pressed or having a perm, we would’ve experienced an identity crisis and felt unloved or neglected by our mamas!”

The most amusing, albeit insightful story, came from Linda Stein, a Jewish artist based in New York. Linda was born with hair that was dark and straight.

“You may be an ASH-C, but I belong to ASH-B; Adult Survivors of Hair Bleach,” Linda writes.

“Starting at age 16, there was nothing more important to my mom, who also loved me very much, than for me to have blonde hair a-la Marilyn Monroe. My sandy brown hair just would not do. This meant a searing, two-process bleach, in which the beautician first stripped the brown from my hair (which opened my scalp pores”> and then applied a burning second bleach which added the blonde.

“This was done in a beauty parlor, but I had an additional kitchen ASH-P experience at an even earlier age, in which my straight hair was permed by my mom, starting maybe at 8 years old, so I could be ‘acceptably’ female.”

A word to my ASH-C and ASH-B sisters. While I appreciate the sharing of your stories, I pray that you are fully recovered from those extreme hair makeover sessions from your past. If you are still having flashbacks perhaps you should see a hairepist.

It’s time to let it go.

This month, I’ve been musing about my history as a curly girl, and when I really started “majoring in curls.” This month. I’ll be graduating from my time as a writing major, but I don’t think I’ll ever abandon my curly attitude or my desire to study what works for my hair.

My hair didn’t curl into ringlets until I was about 13, but I remember the time in eighth grade when I put product in my hair for the first time and wore it down. It wasn’t the prettiest of hairdos (I was still brushing my hair back then”>, but one of the girls told me it looked pretty. I didn’t really start wearing it curly on a regular basis until I came across Lorraine Massey’s book “Curly Girl” at the public library.

I thought the book was possibly the coolest thing ever! Who would have thought to write a book just for people with curls? And so began my education in curls — trying new products, new drying techniques, etc.

The small details stick with me — little comments from friends or even strangers that make my day or my week. I’m sure my fellow curlies have appreciated a random comment like “You have such beautiful hair!” from someone you’ve never seen in your life.

Friends who appreciate your curls are also so important — those people who don’t push you to follow trends or look just to fit in with the crowd. One of my best girlfriends loves to “boing” my curls whenever she sees me.

I remember trying to decide what I wanted my hair to look like for my senior prom four years ago. One of the most crucial choices at the time was whether to go curly or straight. Most of people urged me to go straight — none of them were curly. I wasn’t convinced. But one male friend insisted I go curly. When I asked why he said, “Because it’s more…..Aimee.” That was enough to make up my mind.

I’ve only straightened my hair twice in my whole life — both times because friends wanted to know what it would look like. It’s never been my idea, and because it takes so long to do! I’ve noticed how odd my head feels when I’ve lost the curls. I hold my neck and head so stiffly, as if it might suddenly spring back into curly mode if I make the slightest movement. I can usually identify a curly girl sporting straight hair because they do the same thing.

For me, living the curly life has become a “pay-it-forward” sort of movement. My two younger sisters and mother (all incredibly curly”> rarely if ever straighten their hair. I know for a fact the women in my family are all envied because of their beautiful locks.

Having curly hair is part of who I am — an element of my identity. It’s one of the first things people mention about me. “She’s the one with the curls.” My curls has become a reflection of my personality and vice versa, and I hope that others eventually feel the same way. My hope is that everyone will be able to rock their curls, and not feel like they have to be someone they’re not.

It was November 2005 when I wrote a column about fighting wrinkles and how I was soon going to get the Botox injections. I wanted it to stop me from raising my eyebrows all the time, eliminating the line bisecting my forehead. But a month later I got a new job for Christmas and had to take the money saved up to spend on my face to move 700 kilometres across Ontario.

It was probably the combination of finding myself single again, staring down my 50th birthday in two short years, and actively job hunting in a market crowded with younger people that gave me the courage to face up to the needle. Plus, I was terribly tired of looking in the mirror and seeing one big crack across my face.

There are many more “medical spas” and plastic surgeons located in this city compared to my old one, so I called about a dozen places to investigate. It was important to me to have the treatment done by a trained doctor, and I was shocked at the number of spas that don’t have one performing the injections. A nurse practitioner wasn’t enough for me. I also had specific questions about dilution of the solution used and the number of units recommended for upper forehead lines (to say that I researched this thoroughly would be an understatement”>.

There were several reasons I chose the place I finally selected for my injections. First, the doctor himself would not only be doing the injections but would also do the personal consultation. Second, they wouldn’t estimate a number of units of the drug as “that’s dependent on your personal situation,” the receptionist told me over the phone.

Once I made the appointment, I also checked out the doctor with the College of Physicians & Surgeons of Ontario, and with Allergan (the makers of Botox”>. Don’t be afraid to ask for referrals if that will make you comfortable. Even though the serum has been rendered inert, you are still having someone inject a neurotoxin into your body and you want to make sure your face is in good hands.

“Dr. Andy” took a complete medical history before moving on to ask what I was expecting from the treatment. He had me raise my eyebrows and furrow my brow about 10 times, watching to see how my facial muscles moved. Based on his observation, he recommended a light application of the drug that would allow the lines to soften, but not render my face completely immobile.

I won’t bore you by going into detail about how a unit of Botox is measured (it relates to the level of toxicity in mice”>, but you should know that 3000 units (at once”> equals a lethal level in humans. You’ll be getting substantially less than that. But you should ask your provider how much saline solution they use to dilute the drug. Any more than 4 units of saline to 1 of Botox and you are unlikely to get a good, lasting result.

I’m not going to tell you that it didn’t hurt because it did, especially for the area between my eyes. For maximum effect, the muscle has to be contracted when the drug is injected. My experience was a “crunching” sensation when my brow was furrowed. I felt almost nothing when the doctor injected Botox directly into the upper forehead wrinkle itself.

Most of the time, I bruise easily from injections. But I had none. Even the pin pricks had settled down during my short walk home. I’ve had worse reactions to an eyebrow wax.

While it can take up to a week for Botox to take effect, just over 48 hours later I was no longer raising my eyebrows up to my hairline. To say that I was thrilled would be an understatement. The lines were visibly softer to me within four days of the treatment. I also achieved a slight lift at the arches of my eyebrows that made me look like I had paid a visit to brow-shaping expert Anastasia Soare.

My one disappointment was that Andy felt it wouldn’t be wise to put the Botox too far out to the edges of my face, in case I ended up with ptosis — or drooping eye lids. The wrinkling is still pronounced there, and I plan to discuss options with him at my follow-up appointment.

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Titi Branch

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Q: My hair problem is for the last month or so my hair has been feeling like straw. I’ve tried everything possible to soften it up, but nothing works. Yesterday, I applied a protein treatment thinking maybe a lack of protein was the problem. The treatment went well. My hair was soft and I was happy. Then I applied moisture leave-in, and within seconds my hair turned into straw. I couldn’t even comb it out it tangled so bad. Any ideas what the problem is?

Titi: It’s hard to say. A protein conditioner aids the hair by adding a fiber-like substance to bulk the hair up and protect it. This is generally followed by a moisturizing treatment, which softens the shaft. This should not have turned your hair to straw. So it may be something about the leave-in you’re using.

Q: I know this sounds silly, but when does hair start to drop instead of growing up? I know that at some point a fluffy afro starts to fall, the longer it gets. But when?

Titi: It all depends on the density of one’s hair. Hair that has a coarser texture (4c”> may not ever fall whereas a softer 3b texture may fall after four to five inches.

Q: I would like to get some help in the use of extra virgin olive oil (my hair loves this stuff”>. I started using it with my deep conditioner and the difference in my hair is dramatic. After further research, I found that many people use it right before you apply your moisturizer or right afterward. My question is whether I should apply it before or after? Also, is it beneficial for my hair to do oil rinses if I use oil with my deep conditioner with great results?

Titi: It depends on the ingredients in your moisturizer. If they are oil-based, you can apply olive oiil either before or after. If it’s water based, I would say apply the olive oil after your moisturizer so that you give your moisturizer a chance to absorb.

In terms of oil rinses, it sounds like you really love oil! And for good reason. If your hair is dry, extra-virgin olive oil is a great complement. I would say an oil rinse is fine as long as you do a water rinse directly afterward.

Q: I’m biracial with 3b (well at least I used to be”> hair. I’m a mommy to a 1-year-old (my hair was amazing during pregnancy and, well, I’m trying to not only transition to curly but to also grow my hair out as well”>. I’ve been straight-ironing once or twice a week. Now I’m not really sure what kind of hair I have. I have some loose curls, some tight curls and some straight hair. Can I transition without looking like I have CRAZY hair? i want to let my hair finally be natural. Are there vitamins I can take?

Titi: Transitioning after you’ve been straight ironing once a week is challenging, but not impossible. The first thing you must do is stop straight ironing. All it’s doing is eliminating your natural curl pattern. So what to do as an alternative? Twist set your hair so that your entire mane looks consistent. The more you keep heat away from your hair, the more your curls will respond. Twist set them at night and take them out during the day. As for vitamins, they are always good because you are what you eat. But I think you will get the most benefit from eliminating the straightening iron.

Q: I have one patch of hair in the middle of my head that is a different texture from the rest of my hair. It’s also a lot shorter. I guess it doesn’t grow fast like the rest of my hair. My new growth is wavy/curly, while the patch, which is half the size of my new growth (patch is longer”>, is straight. I never bothered with it before because I always got relaxers. But now that I am going through a transition, it’s infuriating! Not only is it a different texture, but my scalp also gets really irritated in this spot. I think I have new growth underneath it. What am I supposed to do with this patch of hair?

Titi: We all have different textures of hair on our head. That may be due to the shape of the hair follicle in any one given section on our scalp or it could be another reason. Because you are experiencing an irritation, I would say visit your dermatologist. There may be another reason for your condition.

Q: My daughter has wavy hair to the middle of her back, so the weight pulls it out. She told me last night she wants it just below her shoulders, and I thought maybe we can experiment with encouraging the waves. Any suggestions? She wants to shower and do her own hair, so I want to come up with a routine that will be easy for her.

Cozy: I think it’s great for children to be involved in their own grooming from an early age. This will be the foundation for proper grooming for the rest of her life! You didn’t mention her age, so I can’t comment specifically on how involved she can be but you will know what she is capable of. I recommend a light styling cream for your daughter’s wavy hair. Anything that’s too heavy will weigh it down and discourage the wave. Try “scrunching” So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream into her hair after bathing. Let her hair dry naturally. Do not brush it because it causes frizz and prevents the curls from setting.

Q: My 1-year-old is a 3c at the root and a 4a going down. What products would you suggest to define her curls and detangle them? I wasn’t sure what’s safe for a 1 year old.

Cozy: The perfect product for your daughter’s hair is So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-In Conditioner. You can “scrunch” into dry hair when you need to refresh her curls and remove the frizz (like when she wakes up in the morning”> or “scrunch” in wet hair after bathing to help define the curls. It’s totally safe and very easy to use. I recommend spraying into your hands and then scrunching for a young child. It will be easier for your daughter.

Q: My mother insists on combing and brushing my daughter’s curly hair. I’ve told her many times that it’s not good for curly hair, and she’s not hearing me and she’s going and asking other people. She says, “I asked them and their baby has long hair and it’s brushed.” She just doesn’t get it. She says my cousin had pretty hair, but her hair was really frizzy because she brushed it all the time. And she tells me she doesn’t care what I say because she’s still going to do it. Any advice?

Cozy::Us moms always think we know best! Perhaps you can teach your mom by example. Take a picture of your daughter’s hair done the way you like it (without brushing”> and one the way you don’t like it (frizzy from brushing”>. Maybe your mom will change her mind when she sees the proof. I must tell you that you are right about not brushing her hair. Frizzy hair is caused by a ruffled cuticle. Brushing curly hair definitely ruffles the cuticle, hence the frizz. Tell your mom!

Q: My daughter is 4 years old and has 3b curls. When her curls are clean and tangle free, they are beautiful — bouncy, tight ringlets. But how can I keep her hair from getting so tangled when she sleeps and when she is in the car seat? It seems like the hair in the back of her head gets so tangled so quickly. It loses its curl and looks very messy. The front, sides, and underneath don’t fare as badly.

Cozy: A great tried-and-true trick I recommend is putting in a loose braid before bed or long car trips. This helps the hair stay detangled. An added benefit is that it can add a nice wave when you take out the braid in the morning..

Q: My young daughter cut her own hair about four months ago. She did it with her cute little round-tip preschool safety scissors. I still am surprised that she would do that!! She pretty near scalped the sides of her head — cutting upwards right near the scalp from her cheeks to her ears — on both sides. She also took some chunks out of the back. Thankfully, with her curly hair, no one has probably even noticed her hack job. (I can’t imagine what it would have looked like if she had straight hair!”> Thankfully, the top was pulled back in a clip so she didn’t give herself a complete mullet. So, now that the sides have grown back somewhat (still not enough to pull into a hair clip”>, I am wondering if I should get the back layered a bit to make the transition less noticeable. I also wonder if cutting the top layer of the back a bit shorter would make the tangle problem easier to cope with. As her hair has grown longer, the hair seems to straighten at the root and curl on the ends, especially if not freshly combed out. Yet I don’t want to cut her hair so that she looks like a poodle, either. Any suggestions?.

Cozy:This is such a common problem! It seems that nearly every child goes through this at some point. You are lucky that it hasn’t been that noticeable! It’s tricky to grow out hair like this. I recommend hair clips or headbands when possible to camouflage the uneven hair. I also recommend that you take your child to a professional stylist for a consultation to find out what your options are. It’s too difficult to recommend a haircut without seeing the hair. Good luck!