Search Results: Cozy Friedman
The Jonas Brothers. Will Ferrell. John Mayer. Justin Timberlake. Justin Guarini. Adrien Grenier. Sasha Baron Cohen.
While the women in Hollywood seem to struggle with the idea of rocking their natural curls, there seems to be no shortage of curly guys roaming the red carpet.
I won’t claim that male celebrities are completely immune from the lure of straight hair, however. Shia LeBouf and Jonas brother Joe have both sported straightened or slicked-back hairstyles. As a fan of Shia back when he was in the Disney Channel show “Even Stevens,” I was disappointed to see him hitting the red carpet for Transformers with his pomade-heavy, slicked back ‘do. Even Justin Timberlake has been spotted recently sporting a short buzz cut rather than the honey-colored curls we all remember from his boy-band days.
Regardless of whether they’re walking the red carpet or walking to class, I’m a big fan of guys with curly hair. At the private school I attended for a couple years all the boys had to keep their hair quite short. Now that I’m in college, it’s a treat to spot guys on campus who don’t have a dress code dictating how they cut their hair.
I can’t write a column exposing the merits of curly guys without mentioning my boyfriend, Josh. Josh’s hair is epic: not only is it curly, but it’s also long. With hair falling past his shoulder blades, he’s definitely easy to spot from across the room. I’ve never quite figured out how he manages to spend less time on his hair then I do while simultaneously keeping it looking healthier, but somehow that’s always the case. I’m still trying to discover his secret. He wears his hair down every day, so perhaps it’s relatively sedate because he avoids the wear and tear that hairties can inflict.
I was curious to know what prompted him to rock such a long style, so I asked him. He told me that he let his hair grow out while attempting to decide how to cut it, and then decided to keep it long. I maintain that it’s his admiration for a particular long-haired metal guitarist that inspired his mid-back locks. After reading the first paragraph of this column over my shoulder, he immediately rattled off a list of rock and metal musicians. Apparently if you want to find men with long curly hair, go no farther than the first metal band that comes to mind. (Seriously, do an image search for “metal guitarist” and you’ll see exactly what I mean.”>
Now that I have such a handy comment section below my column, tell me your opinion of curly guys! Any favorite curly celebs that you’d like to mention? Leave a comment and let me know!
Stay Curly,
Julia
I received an email a few years ago from a young Pakistani woman named Anam who was distressed about the state of her hair. She said that she had bleached and straightened her hair so many times that it had become a lifeless mass that felt like hay.
Anan’s hair wasn’t always that way. Before she subjected her hair to an extreme makeover she had what she described as African hair. I understood that to mean that her hair was thick and very nappy.
Anam, who lives in a small town in East Malaysia, was taunted and teased for being born with hair texture that was not the acceptable norm in her culture.
“People look upon me as a freak of nature . . . ” Anam wrote. “The reaction I got from people when I was a kid with an Afro was just horrible. It totally destroyed my confidence.”
When Anam tried to avoid further ridicule by getting her hair straightened, her hairdressers gave her scornful looks.
“They looked totally horrified and lost upon seeing my hair,” she said. “I have discovered that it’s useless asking anyone here for help because they just don’t know what to do with my hair.
Anan asked me for help and advice, and I was too angry and frustrated over what I read to offer just the right words of support. All I could do at the time was extend to her a long distance hug. I told her that if she were within reach, I would wrap my arms around her.
When I found what I felt were the right words I wrote her back. I told her that since I wasn’t a hairdresser, I could not give her professional advice on the type of treatments to “heal” her hair. What I offered her were words about appreciating self. I told Anam to be true to who she is. I told her that it was no mistake when she was created with hair in all its “African” beauty.
Anam responded to my email and thanked me for my words. She is now studying at the University of Melbourne in Australia, and she tells me that her hair is on the mend. She has stopped straightening and is allowing it to grow out. The best part of Anam’s letter was that since she has been in college, she has regained her confidence.
“One reason may be that in Australia, people are a lot more open to different textures and types of hair and were very fascinated by my hair,” she writes.
Those words from Anam confirm what I also wrote in my letter to her. I told her that sometimes all it takes is leaving home to really appreciate how good home is. Anam went away to college but came back “home” to her “roots.” When that happened, she discovered that there was nothing wrong with her hair the way it was — strong, willful, “African,” and free.
For makeup addicts like me, December is a good time to avoid department-store cosmetics areas and any Sephora within driving distance. This is due to the fact that every makeup company on earth seems determined to dangle even more temptation than usual in front of us in the form of palettes and kits.
Since I wrote my first column about Christmas-season kits five years ago, a growing number of companies have begun putting out multiple gift items for your consideration. They often include special colors or products designed to entice you even more. This year, these are my picks for some of the best on the block.
Last year, Sephora quickly sold out of their fragrance sampler box. It contained 10 vials of best-selling perfumes and a gift certificate for a full-size bottle of any one of the scents contained within. This year, not only is there a set of best-selling perfumes, they have a set of classic perfumes (including Shalimar”> and one of “trendsetters” (including Ferragamo Incanto Heaven”>. There’s also a men’s sampler set.
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Too Faced is known for their collection of tiny palettes called “The Quickie Chronicles,” each named after an archetypal movie character (for example, The Temptress”>. This year, you can get eight of these palettes in a collection, or spring for the World Domination Tour All Access Backstage Beauty Collection! Inside a jewel box — with a tiny dancer swirling to the “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” — are eye shadows, bronzer, blush, lip glosses, a cake eyeliner and an illuminator.
If you’re a fan of Lorac, you might consider the Croc Case Full Face Collection of 16 eye shadows, two blushes, a highlighter , bronzer and three lip glosses in a fake crocodile skin case. Or Tarte’s The Vanity Limited Edition Palette that also has 16 eye shadows, along with 16 glosses and mascara and brushes.
The Stila Step Out & Shine Color Collection comes in a lovely silver evening bag and consists of the Montmarte eye shadow quad (purples”>, Convertible Color in Orchid, plus a mini-mascara, All Over Shimmer and lip gloss in Pomegranate Crush.
Urban Decay’s Book of Shadows Palette not only contains eight of their best-selling eye shadows, there are an additional eight shadows created exclusively for this set. It also has a travel size of their very popular Primer Potion and two brushes.
At the high-dollar end are offerings from two of the biggest names in luxury products: the Givenchy Very Couture Holiday Palette (containing a mini-gloss, tiny mascara and a Purple Couture eye shadow quad and a compact powder quartet”>; and the Dior Chic Makeup Palette for the Eyes, with six rich colours to make any look your own.
Every year, MAC offers about a dozen different palettes and sets, and this year is no exception. The popular Viva Glam lip sets come in warm and cool versions. And the sure sell-out every year: the brush sets in makeup bags. This year, there are three brush sets — one of basics, another of face brushes and a third of eye shadow brushes.
For the true color-junkie, or the teen who just wants MORE makeup, the Sephora Ultimate Blockbuster Palette should be on your list. There are 84 eye shadows, 60 lipsticks, 3 blushes, 3 face powders, a lip liner and an eye liner pencil along with 7 applicators. That’s a lot of makeup for less than $50 (even in Canadian dollars”>!
Wishing you and yours a happy holiday season!
Contact Rou or read her bio.
YouTube, Facebook, MySpace. It’s hard to believe that all three of these sites are less than five years old, since they’ve quickly become part of many teenagers’ daily routines. This is the Curly College Scene column, after all, and no one uses the Internet more than people our age. In this column I’m going to take you on a tour of what curly girls and guys are up to on the Internet, and how you can connect to the curl community right from your trusty computer.
Let’s start with Facebook. While I had an active MySpace account a couple years ago, and I surf over to YouTube once or twice a week, I can’t help but check my Facebook everyday. One of the first Facebook groups I joined was “Curly Girls — It’s not just hair, it’s a way of life!” The group’s picture alone never fails to make me smile; it’s Frieda from the comic Peanuts, with a speech bubble over her head that reads “Are you jealous of my naturally curly hair, Rick?” With more than 11,000 members and 165 discussion board topics, this group is a great place to rant, vent, or just post an encouraging message on the wall.
Marie vlogs for NaturallyCurly.com
While you’re on Facebook, be sure to friend NaturallyCurly! Through NaturallyCurly’s profile, I discovered oodles of new groups in support of all different kinds of curly heads. A sampling of some of my favorite groups includes “My Curly Hair is the Source of my Super Powers” and “People always expect more from you when you have naturally curly hair.”
If for no other reason, you should friend NaturallyCurly so you get updates when they post new videos on YouTube. Marie’s regular vlogs detail the products and styling techniques she uses and how they affect her hair. You can find the vlogs at the site’s YouTube account, “Naturallycurlydotcom.” There are 12 up currently, with more sure to come!
YouTube is replete with videos that encourage curly girls; my favorites are the various news stories that have been done about the emerging movement of men and women learning to love their curls! YouTube is also a great place to turn if you’re looking for new ways to style your hair; I learned how to use hair sticks and how to create an Edwardian twist by watching video clips online.
Sometimes it seems like the majority of our classmates have straight hair or don’t have the confidence to rock their curls. Contributing to the forums on this web site, joining a curl-themed Facebook group or catching up on Marie’s vlogs are just some of the ways you can connect with a vibrant and knowledgeable community that embraces all types of curly hair. If you’re having a bad hair day, don’t reach for your straight iron. Reach for your computer and take advantage of the wisdom and encouragement of the online curl community!
Stay Curly,
Julia
Email your questions/comments to Julia.
Nappy-headed people are no strangers to the disapproving remarks they often receive from people who seem downright offended over their choice to wear nappy or African-inspired hairstyles.
But they also get affirming comments from people like them who have also chosen to be true to their natural ‘do. Their comments express support and encouragement. They are words that say, “It’s all good.”
I call such positive comments “napfirmations.”
I give them every chance I get.
When I meet someone who is in the beginning stages of growing locks, I pay them a napfirmation by telling them how “happy” their young “nubbies” look.
My napfirmation for those who are offended when someone calls them “nappy-headed” in a derogatory tone is: “Nappy is simply a natural state of hair and an open state of mind.”
I have also been the recipient of napfirmations from friends and strangers.
The most special ones have come from my friends who know of my struggle with alopecia and have complimented me on the way I wear my “custom-made” hair. They offer praise for my choice to represent my hairitage “symbolically” when I could no longer do it naturally.
Even influential and well-respected personalities have uttered napfirmations that inspire and take us higher. I have compiled a list of several and will share a few with you:
District of Columbia Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton: “Nothing is more liberating than letting your hair be naturally what your hair is.”
Singer Abbey Lincoln: “I discovered at the time that my hair was my crown. So I wore it naturally.”
Universal Negro Improvement Association founder and leader of Back to Africa Movement, Marcus Mosiah Garvey: “God made us in his most perfect creation. He made no mistake when he made us black, with kinky hair!”
Poet Nikki Giovanni from her poem “Ego Tripping:” “The hair from my head thinned and gold was laid across three continents . . .”
Reggae musician and Rastafarian Bob Marley: “Trust the universe and respect your hair.”
Nothing like a napfirmation to make a bad hair day better.
My-Cherie
Silk is the incomparable queen of textiles, once made only for royalty and the most powerful rulers. I’ve been intrigued by silk for as long as I can remember. Well, not just silk — silk scarves. There’s so much you can do with a silk scarf.
When I was a little girl, my mom would wrap my hair every night with a silk scarf. It was a comforting family tradition, and to this day, I don’t go to sleep without wrapping my hair. It’s important, especially if you have 4b hair like I do. Silk keeps your hair from breaking and prevents split ends. It also keeps the moisture in your hair while allowing your hair to breathe. Silk keeps you cool in the summer and warm in the winter. How could you not love this versatile fabric?
Before I relaxed my afro, I would wrap my hair before yoga class or my workout. It was great because my hair was up and out of my face. Silk is perfect when you don’t feel like doing anything with your hair. I’ve gone out many times with my hair wrapped and received many compliments. It frames the face so nicely; it’s like having a temporary face lift without the surgery.
Now that my hair is relaxed I still enjoy wearing my silk scarves. I like to wrap the silk around my hair as a headband after a rod and wet set. It’s really cool because I can make my hair big in the back and I’m getting another temporary face lift!
My love for silk inspired me to create my own accessories line with silk scarves and many other unique creations. My business partner and I hand paint and hand dye our silk scarves individually. Each piece is unique and one of a kind, just like you. What’s so special about these products is the versatility. You can wear it as a scarf, a headband, dress or belt.
The possibilities are endless.
There are so many wonderful ways to adorn yourself with silk. I can go on and on with ideas, but I suggest you try some of your own.
To find out more about how to wear silk scarves check out my website.
Love, Peace and Happy Holidays!
Email your questions/comments to My-Cherie
Dear Cozy:
One of my 2-year-old twin daughters has spiral curls on the ends of her hair, and the roots seem rather straight. Her father has curly/wavy hair when it is long as is mine. My eldest has rather curly hair, and is a 3a. The twin’s sister is a 2b (non-identical”>. I cannot figure out what type of hair this twin has and how to care for it. I also think she needs is trimmed all over but my husband is afraid I would cut her curls out and they wouldn’t come back. Her hair has never been cut (except for trimming her fringe”> and my poor hubby is afraid she will lose her precious curls. I wonder if her hair is weighing them down. Any suggestions?
Dear Confusing Curls:
I can see why your husband is worried about losing those curls. They are adorable. It’s very possible that you may BOTH be right. Perhaps the weight of her hair is weighing down her fine hair or her baby hair may be curly but her new hair may be straighter. It’s hard to know. I recommend that you give her a trim and cut some long layers to help prevent weighing down the hair. No matter what, her hair will look better with a little shaping. I know your husband doesn’t want to lose those curls, but at some point he will have to give in to a trim!
Dear Cozy:
My son is 17 months old and has 2a/2b hair, and I’m not sure what to do with it. My mom, who has pin-straight hair, thinks I should cut it (it’s starting to mat and tangle in the back”>, and my husband, who has 2a hair when he grows it out, is beginning to agree. I just can’t bring myself to cut his beautiful curls! How do I get the most out of his beautiful waves and reduce the matting.
Dear Early Curly:
It’s important to keep hair healthy and manageable by trimming regularly. But if you like his long curly hair, there’s no reason to cut it off! Instead, just make sure that you are detangling daily, because this will prevent it from becoming matted. Try using So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangler in the tub. After you apply to hair, comb through tangles with a wide-tooth comb. Rinse. If you do this every day, hair will not get matted. For in-between tangle maintenance, use So Cozy Fruity Delight Spray Detangler & Leave-in Conditioner. This will allow you to comb right through the knots.
Dear Cozy:
My daughter is 2 years old. She has a mix of 3b/3c hair. I’ve used Johnson’s and Johnsons and the detangling spray, but they actually tangle her hair more. She doesn’t have the patience to sit and let me comb it. I need help! When she was a baby I would use baby oil and water but I don’t think that would work right now. I hope you can help me.
Dear Tangled & Impatient:
No two year old will have the patience to detangle! It can be long and painful. Instead, try using So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangler in the tub. After you apply to hair, comb through tangles with a wide-toothed comb. It won’t take long, and she will be distracted in the tub and won’t even realize you are detangling. For in-between tangle maintenance, use So Cozy Fruity Delight Spray Detangler & Leave-in Conditioner. This will allow you to comb right through the knots without fuss. One last tangle trick to prevent knots is to put her hair in a loose braid or pony, and always have her wear her hair up or back when doing activities that typically causes tangles, such as sports, playground, etc.
Dear Cozy:
My little curly gurly is turning two, and we’re having a birthday party. Any ideas on what to do with her hair? Her hair has a 3b–4a range.
Dear Birthday Curls:
I have two words for you: SIMPLE and NATURAL! It’s hard to recommend a style without knowing more about your curly girl, but those two words of advice work for everyone. If you try to get too fancy or complicated, chances are it won’t stay in throughout the entire party and you’ll end up with something you wouldn’t have chosen. Also, you want your daughter to look like herself on this big day. Try pulling the front or sides back in a twist and securing with a great bow, fun clip or great headband. Afro puffs are also a cute style. My other advice is to experiment with her hair a few days in advance, not the morning of the party. The day of the party you want as few surprises as possible. Have fun!
Dear Cozy:
I am the dad of a 6-year-old daughter with VERY curly hair that I want to help her control because she cries when it is brushed. It’s just below her shoulders. Any suggestions?
Dear Sad Dad:
The first thing you need to know is that you should NEVER brush curly hair. Brushing it will ruffle the cuticle and cause it to look frizzy and fuzzy rather than curly. Instead, you should be combing hair in the tub with a wide-toothed comb. If you comb when you are conditioning her hair, the tangles will comb right out and there will be no discomfort, hence no tears! After the tub, wring out excess water and “scrunch” in a styling gel or cream. This will help prevent frizz and help keep curls smooth. I recommend my So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream.
Learn more about and ask questions of Cozy and our other columnists.
For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.
Are you looking for a new curly look? Bumble and bumble, which recently relaunched its Curl Conscious line, is offering virtual makeovers from Bumble and bumble Senior Vice President and Artistic Director Howard McLaren and Lead Educator Coby Alcantar.
The results will be posted on NaturallyCurly on December 15. The results will include Howard and Coby’s cutting and styling tips alongside each of the five selected photos. They will describe how they would change each look, the ideal length, the ideal product combinations, styling techniques and recommendations for casual and special occasion hair and more.
Bumble and bumble wants people to embrace the unstraight. Sixty percent of the world has curly hair, and many still live under the tyranny of straighteners, flat irons and blowdryers
Details
Deadline: Entries should be received by November 21
Photo guidelines: Clear headshot that displays the hair in all its curly glory
To get your virtual makeover, email your photo to Bumble and bumble. Five photos selected will receive a customized selection of Curl Conscious products from Bumble and bumble.
Be a Model at Bumble and bumble’s first Curl Workshop
Bumble and Bumble is looking for models for its Curl Workshops — part of the company’s continuing crusade to contribute more curl conscious stylists to the world.
The first workshop will be held November 20th and 21st at Bumble and bumble University in New York.
This advanced, creative workshop applies classic razor and scissor techniques to accentuate the natural curl in long(er”> and short(ish”> models. And fear not: the amazing stylists have at least two years of professional experience, so waves are (and will remain”> in able hands. As always, Bumble and bumble cuts are based on individual suitability — never the cut-of-the-month. Models will leave with a curly style, but cuts can be worn straight, too.
For the first workshop, Bumble and bumble is looking for models with hair that reaches three or more inches past their collarbone (when pulled straight”>. The cuts at this workshop will be best for soft, bouncy curls to slight, subtle, silky waves. This workshop is not ideal for thick, tightly-wound textures, and ponytail width should be no more than 2.5 inches. Future workshops will address other curly textures.
Model clients do not go through a separate screening process; they are approved for participation at model call. All clients must sign up on at this web site for an invitation to Model Call.
In the creative writing workshops that I conduct, I like to engage the participants in exercises that helps them relax and challenge their imagination.
The one that really gets them excited is when I ask them to give voice to a body part. My favorite is the one where I ask them to let their hair talk.
“If your hair could talk, what would it say?”
Once they stop looking at me like I’m crazy, they let the role play begin.
I posed the question during a workshop sessions with women who belonged to a support group for former prostitutes. One woman’s hair “talked” about being pulled and dragged around by abusive men. Another participant’s hair shared its frustration over being subjected to so many chemical relaxers.
“I’m tired of being set on fire,” the perm-challenged hair proclaimed.
During a workshop I conducted at a senior citizens center, a cancer survivor tearfully allowed her hair to speak about its experience with chemotherapy.
“Bit by bit, pieces of me floated to the ground,” she read. Her hair spoke of being taken to a wig shop and how strange it was to see a store full of “hair with no heads.”
I originally created my Hair Talk exercise to use in the cultural enrichment workshops that I conduct with young African-American girls. I wanted to get an idea of how they perceived themselves without asking them directly.
“I am happy because my owner takes good care of me,” wrote Ke’Asha, a sixth grader.When I posed the question to a group of middle and high school age girls at a community center in South Dallas, the responses were as varied as their personalities. They were candid, humorous, poignant and proud.
“She perms me, shampoos me and even greases me! I love how I feel and look.
Surayyah’s hair pleaded with her owner to give her better care.
“Please comb me. I am all over the place,” wrote the fourth-grader. “Please grease me because I am starting to feel a little dry. Make sure to condition me or I will fall out.”
Madison’s hair was angry.
“I’m sick of being in braids,” wrote the fifth grader in her complaint to her owner. “I don’t like to get wet. I don’t like it when you sweat.”
Dante’s hair issued a desperate warning to her owner who was obsessed with keeping it straight. “Touch me with that hot comb one more time and I will run away!”
Zakia, a sixth grader, had hair that expressed pride and a positive self-perception.
“If my hair could talk it would say how pretty it looked today. That’s what it would say in a great, black and beautiful way.”
Final thoughts
Hair talk. Never know what you might get when you let your tresses be expressive.
Q: My nephew is 18 months old. He is biracial — his mom is white with very thick, coarse, curly hair, and his dad is black with coarse very, very curly hair. My nephew has the craziest hair, and I’d like to help my sister tame it. She ends up having to chop it all off because it gets too out of control. Any suggestions?
Cozy: Don’t worry! At 18 months, a baby’s hair is still changing. Often, the combination of baby hair and the new texture that is growing in is what makes the hair so “crazy.” It’s best to keep it short at this age to keep him more comfortable. Once he starts to get a little older, a great alcohol-free gel will be extremely helpful in managing his hair.
Q: How do you keep a child still while you’re working on a hairstyle? Mine is so squirmy! She’s 3 and a live wire. I don’t even try elaborate styles — only puffs and twists. Is there a trick to getting children to sit for long periods of time? I want to try cute braided styles.
Cozy: Distraction, distraction, distraction! You can’t expect a squirmy child to sit still for anything unless they are focused on something fun. Prepare your ammunition — try styling in front of her favorite DVD, have a book (or two”> on hand, some bubbles for her to blow, a musical instrument, crayons ot whatever else may hold her attention. Don’t be too ambitious at first. Continue with the simple styles until you become more successful with your styling sessions, and then gradually start with the braids. Eventually she may really look forward to it!
Q: I’m expecting a baby girl in one week. Any suggestions on what to wash/condition her hair. I’m assuming it will be curly eventually, and don’t want to start drying it out with Johnson’s Baby Shampoo. Any advice would be great!
Cozy: It’s never too early to plan, although your baby may not even have any hair at first! When it is time to start shampooing, keep in mind that it is not necessary to shampoo daily. Once or twice a week is fine. You can always rinse baby’s head if you feel she needs a cleansing. When you do shampoo, be certain to use a tear free baby shampoo that is paraben-free. Parabens are synthetic preservatives that have been linked to cancer.
Q: My 13-month-old curly boy was lucky enough to be blessed with an abundance of hair. In my family, we don’t cut the hair until children are 1 so he’s got hair to his shoulders when wet and not even stretched. He’s got a curly afro when dry. Problem: I have to fight to comb his hair. I cornrow it from time to time, and it takes an hour for five or six measly braids. I let him wear the ‘fro, which my husband adores. But then it takes forever to detangle, and he cries and cries. I’m at my wit’s end! How much should a boy have to go through just to have his hair done?
Cozy: You are blessed; his hair sounds amazing! The best way to handle those tangles is to keep up with it daily. Start with So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangling Treatment while in the tub. After shampooing, apply a generous amount (use more in the really tangled parts”> and then easily comb through knots with a wide-toothed comb. Start at the ends, combing one inch at a time, working your way up the hair strand toward the scalp. Be sure to hold the top of the hair strand with the other hand so you don’t tug on the hair. Continue to work your way around the head. This process will help a lot. When there’s no time for the tub, use So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-In Conditioner. You can use this on wet or dry hair and will help comb through those tangles in between baths.
Q: I have a 7-year-old daughter who refuses to take a bath more than twice a week. She has 3a curls, midway down her back, and I’m trying to find a strategy for keeping it looking good all week long. The first day or two, she can wear it down because the curls look really defined, but then it gets puffier and puffier.
Cozy: Sounds like you need something in between baths to reactivate those curls. You can use So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-In Conditioner. Not only will it reactivate the curls, but it will condition and replenish the moisture in her hair. An extra added benefit is that it will help deal with snarls too! You can use on wet or dry hair.
For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.
Today I had a wonderful hair day. I credit my hairdresser for my particularly shiny curls: during my recent haircut, she urged me to acquire a diffuser and reinforced the fact that “product is your friend; don’t be afraid of product!” Her advice worked, and she gets props for never once suggesting that I let her blow my hair straight. She did mention, however, that when she was growing up she had no idea how to style her long curls. After losing a few battles with frizz, she said, it was easier for her to straighten her hair every morning
f you’ve read my past columns, you may notice that I’ve expressed some pretty strong opinions about straightening. You might even get the impression that I’m against it all together. Not so. However, I will admit that it makes me a bit sad when curly girls straighten their hair because they haven’t had a chance to learn the tips, tricks, and strategies that could help their curls look their very best.
Thanks in part to the new tricks my hairdresser taught me this week, I’m pretty pumped about my curls these days. While I fully plan on continuing to evangelize the beauty of naturally curly hair, I do recognize that even the proudest of curly girls can use a change once in a while; shaking things up now and then can be wonderfully refreshing!
If you’re looking for something different and plan on flat-ironing your lovely locks, I have two suggestions. First, practice safe straightening! Last year I routinely saw my roommate take a flat iron to her damp curls: I could smell burning hair across the room, and the steam it produced was vaguely unsettling. It doesn’t take an expert to know that can’t be good.
On the site this month you’ll find tons of suggestions that can help you minimize the damage straightening (or any other type of heat styling”> can cause. Check out some of these tips before you straighten your hair; your curls will thank you for it later.
My second bit of advice is to remember your curly pride! If you’re like me, your friends are accustomed to seeing you with a fairly routine range of hairstyles. If they rarely or never see you with straightened hair, prepare to get a reaction! I used to think my hair looked better straight because of all the extra attention it garnered. But in reality, my friends were just responding to the change.
Change can be fun, and rocking a novel new style is a great way to mix it up. Before you reach for the flat iron however, make sure you know how to make your hair look its best! Once you’re happy with your natural curls, straight styles will be nothing more than a fun diversion from your normal style.
Stay Curly,
Julia
Q: I have a 5-year-old with long, 3a curls. I need ideas for some fancy styles for parties.
Cozy: Keep in mind that “fancy” doesn’t have to be complicated! Simple styles will likely hold up longer and will be much easier to execute nicely. Try a simple French twist or twist the sides of the hair and leave the back down for a half-up style. Cute bows, clips or headbands always help add fun style. Most important, practice styles in advance — never right before the event!
Q: Does hair change? I was totally expecting to have a 4a cutie like mommy, and ended up with a 3b-3c cutie like nobody I know. This totally threw me for a loop. So I’m wondering if this is just her baby hair or the way her hair is going to be. She was born with this head of hair and this texture, and now she is 6 months old and it hasn’t changed.
Cozy: Yes, hair does change throughout your life, especially in the early years. Your cutie’s hair will continue to change, but it is unpredictable in that way!
Q: My little girl is a 3b. When her hair is wet, it has really nice curls. But when it’s dry, it looks dry and messy. What do I do to control her wild hair?
Cozy: This is a very common problem for curly hair. It happens when hair is dry and the cuticle becomes ruffled. There are two things I recommend. First, it is critical that you replenish moisture to her hair. Use a thick, creamy conditioner with natural moisturizers to replenish thirsty hair and help to prevent it from drying out. I recommend So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner, which contains almond oil to hydrate hair. Next, use an alcohol-free styling gel after conditioning to keep cuticle smooth and hair shiny. So Cozy Groovy Grape Styling Gel is a light formulation that won’t weigh hair down and will be great to prevent frizz.
Q: I have a very active 8-year-old. She’s in gymnastics, dance and constantly on the go. Her long 3a hair can get really tangled. What are some strategies to keep her hair looking its best while she’s whizzing from one activity to another?
Cozy: It’s important that you comb out the tangles daily so they don’t build up. An easy way to stay on top of this is to use So Cozy Pre-Detangling Treatment in the tub. Use a generous amount and then comb out hair in the tub with the Pre-Detangling treatment in her hair. This will prevent painful comb-outs. Next, make sure that your daughter wears her hair up on busy days. This will help prevent tangles for such an active girl.
Q: How do I prepare my 2-year-old daughter for her first haircut. She gets really anxious about everything, and I want this to be a good experience or she may never go to get another haircut.
Cozy: The first haircut can be a rather hair-raising experience for both you and your child, but it can also be a lot of fun. You are smart to prepare in advance! First, decide whether you are going to do it at home or take her to a professional. Either way, it will be a special occasion. Here are some tips to make that first haircut less stressful, whether it happens at home or the salon:
- Make sure to choose a good time of day for the haircut. Avoid nap time or meal time when your child is less likely to cooperate and may be cranky.
- Choose a stylist who enjoys working with children. Call the salon in advance to find out who the right stylist will be.
- Distraction, distraction, distraction! If you’re not going to a children’s salon, bring your own distractions. A book, toy, DVD, healthy snack or treat will keep your child’s attention so there’s less chance of your child getting upset.
- Bring a spare t-shirt in case your child doesn’t want to wear a cape. This way you can easily change her when haircut is over.
- Never refer to it as a hair CUT! This can sound very scary for a child. Instead call it a trim.
- Try to get an idea of what type of haircut you are looking for in advance. Look through magazines and tear out photos to help tell stylists what you want.
Spray comb with water rather than spraying water directly on child’s hair. That can be scary for children not knowing what to expect.
- Don’t forget to save the first lock of hair for your scrapbook.
- Try not to be too nervous. Children pick up on this and will feel nervous because you are!
- Enjoy!
For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.
I have a little secret — one that my straight-haired friends might even call a “dirty” little secret. I haven’t washed my hair in three days.
While going more than a day or two without washing or brushing your hair is quite the social travesty for the average teen, it’s the usual for many curly girls. When I shower in morning, I put my hair up in a bun to keep it dry. There it sits, high and dry, for the duration of my shower.
Among curly girls, there seems to be two camps: those who fight frizz and flyaways by washing and styling their lovely locks each day, and those who combat dry and damaged hair by washing it every few days and touching up their curls between soakings. While different approaches work for different hair types, I’m a believer in the second school of hair-care thought. Seeing as how I prefer to let my hair air dry, this allows me to avoid showing up to school with wet shoulders everyday.
While giving your hair a break for a few days is all well and good when you’re just going to class and hanging out, it’s often not an option for more athletic curly girls. (News flash, guys: girls sweat too!”> Because I teach skiing, I find myself gross and sweaty during Central New York’s coldest months, in addition to its hottest ones. When I have to wash my hair frequently, I skip the shampoo entirely and leave the conditioner in my hair for an extra minute or two before rinsing. I’ve discovered that unless I’ve gotten something crazy in my hair (a recent art-project-turned-paint-fight comes to mind…”>, I don’t notice a decrease in the cleanliness of my curls when I pass on the shampoo.
While it may seem ironic that water can dry out hair, the hot temperature of a shower can strip moisture and our own scalp’s natural oils. To add a little extra shine and bounce between washes, I use detangling spray to revive my style in the morning. I prefer types that are equally effective on wet and dry hair; this site sells several brands. To pep up my curls, I flip my head over, dampen my hair with a few liberal pumps of leave-in, then scrunch and twirl my curls back in line.
Curly girls’ hair routines are as varied as the girls themselves. While some of us religiously shampoo, condition and diffuse our hair each morning, others prefer to touch up our styles for a few days before conditioning our hair again. Some ladies like loose, wavy curls, while others have like using gel for the wet look. While I share my favorite tips and tricks in this column, we’ve all developed the methods that work for our particular curl type.
What do you swear by? I’d love to hear from you!
Stay Curly
Email your questions/comments to Julia.
I know a lot of members here at NaturallyCurly are interested in “greening” up their lives. You probably use natural cleaners and soaps around the house, recognizing that they might be better for your children and/or pets as well as the environment. A growing number of companies are developing products that will allow you to go green for your personal care and beauty regimens, too.
One of the first things you have to do is figure out which products actually are what they claim to be, and whether they are right for you. For example, years ago I had a facial with products that were presented as “all natural.” What I didn’t know was that some of the ingredients used in the products put on my face were tree bark extracts. And I am violently allergic to trees.
I think you can guess what happened next!
The first rule of “natural” skin care is that it doesn’t mean it’s automatically good for you.”
The second rule is that just because the company markets it to you as “natural,” that doesn’t mean it really is. This is because there are no standards set by the FDA in the United States regulating what can and cannot be sold using natural as a descriptor. Their only requirement is that a product be safe for its intended use.
Fortunately, the Natural Products Association (founded in 1934″> is working to develop product standards in order to assure customers that the products they are buying truly are natural. By natural, they mean that they contain ingredients that come from a renewable resource found in nature and that there are no petroleum compounds, residues of heavy metals or other contaminants “in excess of tolerances set by the FDA or EPA”. (For more information, visit www.naturalproductsassoc.org“>
A “natural seal” will appear on products that meet the standards of the NPA; which currently only apply to a select few products of Burt’s Bees.
Founded in 1984, Burt’s Bees is one of the largest natural personal care companies in the world. Currently a division of Clorox, it is also one of the “greenest” companies in the world in terms of carbon footprint. Not only is almost all packaging made of recycled materials, they are also recyclable themselves; and even biodegradable, as with their soap wrappers made of limestone. Printing is done with water-based soy ink. The production facility itself is chemical-free, using steam to clean and recycling water. In an interview with Toronto Life Fashion in May 2008, CEO John Replogle said that the company aims to get to zero waste by 2010.
Some other companies that make products attempting to live up to the standards set by Burt’s Bees are:
Origins (there is now Origins Organics”>
Pangea Organics – h
Physicians Formula Organics (with enviro-friendly packaging”> — at drugstores everwhere
Green Beaver (yes, it IS Canadian!”>
While some “green” products are more expensive than everything else out there, the benefits to you, your family and Mother Earth can be well worth the cost!
Canadians, Americans and New Zealanders—don’t forget to vote in your upcoming federal elections. You might want to ask your local candidates about green issues.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month—while current research indicates that self-examination often finds benign lumps that cause anxiety more often than they find cancer, breast cancer organizations around the world are now encouraging women to be “breast aware”. Learn the topography of your breasts visually and manually, and don’t be afraid to bring changes to your doctor’s attention.
Think Pink—and donate what you can to cancer research—the life you save could be your own!
Contact Rou or read her bio.
Q: My little girl is a 3b, When it is wet, it has really nice curls. But after it’s dried, it looks dry and messy. I tried the Suave and VO5 products, but nothing seems to work. What can I do to control her wild hair?
Cozy: It sounds like your daughter’s hair is dried out and in need of a good conditioner, which is why it looks like that when its dry. Try So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner and my secret tip — don’t rinse it all out. Leave a little in on the ends for extra conditioning. For even more help, use a great leave-in conditioner like So Cozy Fruity Delight. This will add one more layer of moisturizing help.
Q: I’m really stuck with what to do with my 18-month-old daughter’s hair for my wedding? Her fringe is in the process of growing out, and she has curls that appear and disappear throughout the day. She won’t wear headbands, and if I tie her hair up, it lasts five minutes and then falls out. She has lovely shiny hair, and it is really thick but quite fine.
Cozy: Think simple! The simpler, the better. I like to use “pinch clip” type of hair clips b/c they are so light & go in so quick, that your daughter will barely notice when you put her hair up. The other benefit of the easy clip is that if you need to fix during the festivities, it will be quick & easy. One more tip, practice and decide a few days prior to the wedding. You don’t want to be experimenting with hairstyles on the big day!
Q: I found this site looking for more information on relaxers. I have a 9-year-old biracial daughter, and she has been getting her hair relaxed for a few years. I’d love not to do that anymore, but its really hard when she’s still at an age that her hair is just WAY too much for her to handle on her own. And relaxing just seemed the easiest way to make it not such a painful experience when it has to be washed/styled. Looking back at pictures of her before, I see her beautiful texture and curl and would love to get it back. I think I’m more educated now, and more prepared to handle the different challenges her hair has compared to mine (also curly, just not quite so!”>. How can I help her transition to her natural texture — 3c/4a. Also, I’ve had lots of problems learning to use products. Some seem like they’re not enough and some seem like too much. And then of course, it could be that I’m not using enough or I’m using too much!
Cozy: Growing out the relaxer will definitely be a challenge! The first step will be getting a really great haircut and making a plan with a professional for the haircuts you will need throughout the grow-out process. Next, you will need to experiment with different hair accessories to help you through the awkward stages. Throughout the entire process, you should experiment with different gels and styling creams to find which ones work best for your daughter and how much to use.
Q: I am a curly girl, and I have an 18-month-old cousin who is also curly. We are the only ones in the family with any wave at all. I want to help my aunt care for my cousin’s hair, but I am not sure what’s the best way to do so. She shampoos his hair, and that’s it. He has wispy little curls at the nape of his neck and at the sides of his head. What should I tell her about hair care now and in the future?
Q: It’s really important for your aunt to embrace his curls and help him to do the same as he gets older. As we all know, ”the grass is always greener” so people with curly hair always wish they had straight hair, and vice versa. As for caring for the hair, keeping curly hair hydrated is key to preventing hair from looking dried out and frizzy. So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream is great for young children because it is very light, will prevent frizz and keeps hair smooth and natural-looking.
Q: I am the mom to six children. One of them is a 13-year-old with what could be beautiful curly hair. Her hair was not curly until she was about one, when one stray hair curled on the top of her head. Soon her head was covered with lovely Shirley Temple ringlets. People would always ask if I curled her hair!! As if I had the time! She is now 13, and although some of her hair forms ringlets, it’s a frizzy mess in others. Part of the problem is that she had thyroid disease. We have had a difficult time getting her regulated even though she has been on medication for a few years.
What is a good product to use for a teen? I need things that won’t weigh her hair down too much, but will give her much needed moisture and definition. Is there a good deep conditioner that she can use? Also, we have been swimming at our pool. Is there extra stuff we need to do for that? I am a wavy and have another daughter with wavy hair. But this daughter is all real curls!
Cozy: Hair becomes frizzy when the cuticle is dried out or ruffled. You are smart to look for a great conditioner, which will keep her cuticle smooth. So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner is a thick and creamy conditioner, which is just what she needs. For extra conditioning, leave a little conditioner in at the tips rather than rinsing it out completely. Leave-in conditioner will also be important in maintaining well-hydrated hair. You can use So Cozy Fruity Delight, which not only is a leave-in conditioner, but a detangler as well. This will help to prevent damage during comb outs, which will also help to keep hair looking smooth. As for swimming, chlorine is one of the worst offenders of damaging hair! Always use a swimmer’s shampoo to clarify hair. So Cozy Green Apple is paraben-free (as all So Cozy products are”> and will naturally detoxify hair and prevent chlorine damage.
For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.
You’ve seen it in the movies: the beautiful actress walks into a room and in one swift motion lets down her long hair, shaking it loose around her shoulders.
Although I’ve always admired those leading ladies, when I take down my hair it’s not nearly as elegant. I generally spend a few seconds probing my bun for my hair tie and working it out of my curls while trying to wreak as little havoc as possible on my hair. Even though I buy “ouchless” hair ties, I inevitably find a chunk wrapped around my hair band in spite of my best efforts. I know it’s normal to “shed” a certain amount of hair each day, but I’m almost certain that my frequent use of hair ties is doing more harm than good.
Pretty hair sticks.
In the hope of remedying this, I embarked on the “Great Hair Stick Experiment.” The Great Hair Stick Experiment started about a month ago when I bought a beautiful pair of wooden hair sticks from a small store in Nantucket. A few shades lighter then my hair and richly grained, they have a subtle spiral in the middle. Since hair can’t tangle around the smooth sticks, I knew they presented a good option for people who want to keep their long locks healthy and avoid breakage.
I was, however, a little worried they would be difficult to use. Having never worn hair sticks before, I thought they’d be difficult to master. I soon discovered that I could create a hair stick style with little trouble and no practice. The majority of styles are anchored with one stick; the second is used to strengthen and stabilize the style. I logged on to YouTube and learned how to do a French twist and a few fancy buns; watching another person create complex styles is by far the best way to learn how to recreate them yourself.
Hair sticks have several advantages. When you use hair ties, you have you pull your curls tight along your head to stabilize the style. When using hair sticks, however, you have the flexibility to create sleek, tight looks or loose buns that showcase your curls while holding them away from your face and off your neck.
Although a month isn’t enough time to note a significant different in the amount of breakage in my hair, I’ve enjoyed the comfort and adaptability of hair sticks. There is no risk of breakage when you take them out of your hair, and they’re appropriate whether you’re dressing for the classroom or the ballroom.
Give them a try, you may discover a stylish and creative way to draw attention to your beautiful curls!
Email your questions/comments to Julia
Beauty tips for “older” women have always seemed to involve the word “don’t,” as in “don’t wear shimmer anything” or “don’t use powder products” or “don’t wear your hair long”. The idea behind these tips is that those three things actually emphasize wrinkles rather than hide them.
If you’ve protected yourself from the sun and haven’t spent years with a surprised look on your face while reading (like yours truly”>, most of your wrinkles are probably badges of honor — crying at your wedding, 36 hours in labour, seeing a best friend through a major illness, waiting up while junior stays out all night at prom, etc. You can’t hide all wrinkles, and why would you want to when you’ve reached that “certain age” (as the French like to say”>.
So, what does work for those of us over 40?
First off, wear your hair however you like. Sport a gorgeous gray mane like songstress Emmylou Harris, or keep your color like Susan Sarandon. Long, short or in-between is up to you.
Secondly, develop a skin-care routine that is easy and works for you. Buying the entire Erno Laszlo system might not be what you need; pick and choose products from different lines and customize them to suit your lifestyle and budget.
When it comes to makeup, let your personal preferences dictate color, product type and finish. I keep reading how I should be wearing cream blush, but cream blush sinks into my skin and vanishes within a couple of hours.
Do try to avoid matte foundations, because they can be drying on skin that is drying out. I’ll never be a tinted moisturizer type of person, because I REALLY need the coverage of foundation. But using it only where needed on well-moisturized skin is ideal — no matter what your age.
I recently read that two concealers can go a long way toward hiding dark circles under the eye. Start with a yellow-toned concealer that matches your skin tone/foundation color, then, after it dries, use a slightly shimmery peach-tone concealer to reflect the light away from the area. Pen-style products (YSL Touche-Eclat or Bourjois Anticerne Pour Petits Matins”> are ideal for this purpose.
After years of hearing how frost emphasizes lines, it’s good to know that new products with a slight shimmer to them actually reflect light — which makes wrinkles less visible to the eye.
For blush shades, only those with truly dark skin tones should be looking in the tawny and plum tones. The rest of us can really warm up our complexions with clear pinks, peaches and apricots. If you have really dry skin, cream blush with a light dusting of a matching powder over it will provide staying power.
I’m not ready to give up my shimmering (or frosted”> eye shadows just yet, and as long as I don’t have crepe-like eye lids, I don’t see why I have to. At this stage in my life, I just pair them with matte finishes and use a light hand. And as we have all heard from makeup artist Carmindy of What Not to Wear fame, a dot of shimmering nude/pink/peach eye shadow at the inner corner of our eyes helps to open the area up.
Eye liner in a rich shade smudged close to the lash line can actually help counteract sagging at the outer corner. Follow up with lots of your favorite mascara (or false eye lashes for special occasions”>. You might find it necessary to fill in your brows. I’ve found that my brows are getting a bit sparse, and gray, in areas. Using a tiny, flat brush and an auburn-taupe powder, I use tiny strokes until I achieve the look I want. Then I brush them into place with a tiny bit of wax.
You might find that your lip volume is decreasing; and that’s without having an accident like mine where they had to be glued back together! Use lip liner before any lipstick — either match your natural lip color or the lipstick shade you’ve chosen. And don’t be afraid of strong lip color — especially if you’ve been spending money on tooth whitening. Go cherry red (like MAC’s new Cult of Cherry lip glass”>, if you really want to.
In the early 1970s, the Clairol Loving Care hair color ads said: “You’re not getting older, you’re getting better”. With the choices and improvements in skin care and makeup products available today for those of us over 40, that slogan just is more true than ever!
Contact Rou or read her bio
My-Cherie
Two weeks ago, on a whim, I decided to perm my hair. It’s been seven years since I straightened my hair.
Before you hit me over the head with a book, please let me explain. I’ve been extremely frustrated with my hair in this summer Texas heat. It’s been brutal. A couple of Sundays ago, my kinky-haired model friend, Zion, and I decided to go shopping for wigs and ponytails at the local wig shop. The experience was unbearable. The hair was cheap and the customer service was bad. Zion and I looked at each other in disgust over the whole situation. Why is it so hard for a kinky girl to get some decent hair in this town?
Frustration sometimes leads to desperation. Zion and I decided that at that very moment we were not going to think twice about it. We were going to take the plunge and perm our hair. We knew that we didn’t want our hair too straight — just more manageable. We also wanted to maintain our kinkiness. We had to find the best salon in town that could make this happen. I told her that I was not going to do it unless she did it and she said that she was not going to do it unless I did it. So we both took a chance and did it! We made an appointment that day for the transformation. The sisters’ pact was sealed.
Zion, the hairstylist and My-Cherie, post perm.
The salon service was fabulous. I had a great hand massage while sipping on herbal tea. I hadn’t been “hair” pampered like that in so long that I didn’t know what to do with myself. Then reality began to set in. Less than five minutes after my stylist started to put the perm on my head, my ears began to tingle and then it started burning all over. I began to have flashbacks of when I was a little girl and my mom would perm my hair. I would jump around frantically saying, “Please mommy, take it out! It burns!”
My stylist rushed to the sink to wash it out. The wash out was torture. It felt like little prickly pine cones stabbing me all over. After thorough rinsing, my stylist noticed that my hair was still in a fro. The problem is, my hair is thick but my scalp is so sensitive I can’t leave a perm on long enough to actually straighten my hair. My stylist said, in the most peculiar way, “It seems like your hair rejected the relaxer. It’s just as thick as it was before we permed it. Girl, I’ve never seen anything like this.”
Oh, gee that’s great. Of course this would happen to me. Look where spontaneity got me.
My life has taken a twist. I know I always talk about the pressures of conforming to straight hair in the modeling industry, while fighting to stay true to myself and everything I believe in. It sounds crazy, but I had to see for myself how my life would change with a perm. Now I realize why I hadn’t permed my hair in seven years:
- No one can ever seem to get it right.
- I hate the way a perm makes my hair smell.
- My scalp cannot handle it.
- My hair is supposed to be kinky!
There are some benefits, though. I can style my own hair for modeling work — no weave wig or press necessary. I can wet set my hair with rods and still use naturally curly products like Curl Junkie Curl Fuel Enhancing Spray. My hair is still kinky with more bounce. My curls are big and loose.
Maybe it’s spontaneity gone right. I still haven’t figured it all out yet. It’s a work in progress.
Email questions or comments to My-Cherie.
