Search Results: Cozy Friedman

Kids Curly Hair Q&A: My Baby’s Hair is Dry, Brittle and Frizzy. Help!

By Cozy Friedman · Published August 9, 2018

Photo by iStockphoto.com/Steve Debenport

Cozy Friedman is a stylist and the founder of Cozy’s Cuts For Kids, a children’s salon in New York City that first opened in 1994. She went on to launch her own hair product line, SoCozy Professional Hair Care for Children, and published a book, Cozy’s Complete Guide to Girls’ Hair. Cozy is one of the original NaturallyCurly columnists and a long-time curlfriend, and she has been generous enough to help our readers over the years with their most pressing questions about their kids’ curls.

Concern: Dry/brittle/frizzy hair

My 15-month-old son is biracial and his hair is very curly but also very dry/brittle/frizzy. I’m not sure what my routine should look like or what child-safe products I should be using. From reading tonight, I do know I need to stop washing his hair so much and also get him a satin blanket for the crib and scarf for the car seat. Can you help?

Answer

You are off to a great start already by just decreasing the frequency of shampooing! The next step will be to start using conditioner as much as possible. It can be tricky with a 15-month-old, because you obviously don’t have unlimited time to condition and rinse after doing the same with shampoo. I recommend that you use a use a product that lets you do both at once, in order to maximize your time. Try So Cozy Cinch 3 in 1 Shampoo + Conditioner + Bodywash. In between wash days, while you aren’t shampooing, be sure to use a leave-in conditioner. So Cozy Cinch Detangler + Leave-In Conditioner is great because it’s a spray-in, so it’s very easy to apply and it smells absolutely delicious, so your son will actually like it!

Concern: Frizz at the crown

My 2 1/2-year-old daughter is biracial. Her hair is pretty managable but since it has started growing it seem the hair on the crown will not define like the rest of the hair. It gets frizzy. I have added more leave-in but it still gets frizzy only on the top. Why is this?

Answer

It’s not unusual for toddlers to have more than one type of hair texture, as new hair is growing in. The key is to do what you are already doing—treat it differently than the rest of the hair. I would recommend using a little lightweight styling gel to help define and hold the curls. Be sure to use an alcohol-free gel such as So Cozy Boing Curl Gel-Cream so that hair does not get dried out.

Concern: Refreshing a 3-year old’s hair

My daughter has got a ton of curly hair, and since she is only 3 years old, it is up to me to do her hair and I want to do it right. She is mixed, white/Hispanic, and I think she is a 3c, very tight, fine curls and lots of them. My problem is what do I do with her hair each day? It looks great after we wash it. I leave in conditioner and comb out the tangles and that’s it. However, the next morning it is crazy and since we only wash it about once or twice a week she only has one good hair day. Now she is only 3 so she could care less but soon enough she will be all about her hair and I would like to know how to take care of it and how to keep the tangles out when she sleeps. Any suggestions are appreciated, especially since I have straight hair and am absolutely no help for her. I am learning as we go along! Thank you!

Answer

It’s fantastic that you don’t over-wash her hair! That’s the most common mistake I see with parents. In between shampoos and conditioning you will need to redefine the curls (remove the frizz”>. It’s not complicated—you just really need to find the right product for her hair. My first thought is that a spray leave-in conditioner will do the trick, since you had good results from your conditioner. Spray So Cozy Cinch Detangler + Leave-In Conditioner throughout her hair, making it slightly damp and then “scrunch” curls with your hands to help redefine the curls and remove frizz. It really only takes a couple minutes and it will be easy for your daughter to do herself when she’s a little older.

Concern: Finding the right style for my daughter

I am the mother of a beautiful 8 1/2-year-old who will only wear a ponytail. She has 3b hair underneath and most of her hair around the top from the middle of the head up is probably 3c and fuzz. Two years ago I had her hair relaxed and only touched up once. She only has about one inch of straight left on the ends. Mostly her hair just turned back curly as the relaxer didn’t seem permanent in places. It was a Mizani relaxer done at a salon. Her hair has changed. I used to be able to let her wear some curls but now it is just pure fuzz. I have used all sorts of products—none of them seem to last on her hair.

I really want to know about braids. I don’t have experience with them being a redhead with board straight hair. I had an African American woman tell me once to never never braid my daughter’s hair. She said it will pull it out and make sores on her head. I can french braid but she has breakage from wearing it all these years in one ponytail that it never stays put. I have often pulled it up it two high ponytails on her head then turned each ponytail into two braids, French braided it and various other things and the moment she hits school, she takes it down and puts it into one ponytail.

Any suggestions? Types of braids or products people can’t live without? Right now we use Mizani shampoo, Neutrogena Triple Moisture Deep Conditioner and plain old shea butter. I have used Mixed Chicks, Carol’s Daughter, Paul Mitchell and the list goes on.

Answer

The way I see it, you have two issues. First, you are definitely in the “in-between” stage where you really need to let her hair grow out and get rid of the damaged hair caused by the chemicals in the relaxer. Unfortunately, there’s no way around it. Time and using a great, thick creamy conditioner will help.

The other issue as I see it is that you and your daughter need to be more in agreement. If you are doing her hair and then she is re-doing it when she gets to school, it doesn’t do either of you any good (and it’s not great for her hair either”>. There comes a time when you have to let children be themselves and wear their hair the way that makes them feel comfortable and good about themselves. I cannot begin to tell you how often I see this issue in my salons and it happens at all different ages depending on the child. I’m not recommending that you give up and just let her wear the pony, but maybe if you can find out what it is about the pony that makes her feel so comfortable, you will be able to use that information to figure out and work with her on another style that you will both be happy. Look at magazines and on the web to find style ideas. Lastly, braids are fine as long as she doesn’t only wear it braided and you don’t pull them too tight.

What’s your biggest concern when caring for your kiddos’ curls?

This article was originally published in 2010 and was updated in 2018 to reflect new recommendations.

Shea Butter for Hair: Healing Magic

By Cozy Friedman · Published June 18, 2018

These days shea butter is all the rage. You have probably spotted shea butter as a key ingredient in many types of shampoo, conditioners, hot oil treatments, soaps, lotions and creams. This article explores shea, what it is, where it comes from and how curly topped people can reap the benefits of this unique African product.

The Origin of Shea

The shea tree is a member of the Sapotaceae family Vitellaria parasoxa C.F. Gaertin., formerly called Butryrosperum paradoxum. Shea trees are found exclusively in the African Sahel, a semi-arid region south of the Sahara Desert. Shea tree is native to Benin, Burkina Faso, Cameroon, Chad, Cote d’Ivoire, Ghana, Guinea, Mali, Niger, Nigeria, Senegal, Sudan, Togo and Uganda where it is distributed in parklands, dry savannas and forests. Shea trees grow between 150-200 years. The nut of Vitellaria pradoxa is almost 50% fat.

Shea butter is one of numerous non-timber forest products that make significant contributions to rural African societies. Shea butter, known locally as ‘karite’ in the Dioula language, is also called Women’s Gold because it brings women significant income. Shea butter has been traded as a commodity at least as early as the 14th century. Today shea butter is the third highest export product in Burkina Faso. It is one of few economic commodities under women’s control in Sahelian Africa. The trees have been tenderly cared for by women farmers and their children for hundreds of years, yet with the steady rise in popularity of shea butter in international markets some concerns have arisen. Agroforestry and environmental organizations fear over-harvesting of shea nuts could contribute to land degradation, eventually leading to desertification. This is one of the reasons I also advocate use of alternative butters such as mango butter, which is almost identical in efficacy and usage.

While in the west we utilize shea almost exclusively in cosmetics, in Africa it has diverse uses. For the Mossi people of Burkina Faso, shea butter is the sole source of dietary fat. Groups in Burkina Faso and elsewhere use shea to make soap, healing balms, cosmetics, candles, lamp oil and waterproofing putty for housing. Shea wood is used for creating tools, flooring, joinery, chairs, utensils and mortar and pestles. The wood also creates a fierce heat and can be prepared as a substitute for kerosene, yet the trees’ destruction for fuel is discouraged because of its more prominent medicinal uses and economic contribution to African villages. The root and bark are used medicinally. Many types of imported chocolates contain shea. Shea butter is exported to Japan and Europe to enhance pastry dough pliability and to enrich chocolate recipes. (Shea tastes buttery and nutty just like it smells, sort of like almond paste. Shea doesn’t have a lingering taste and takes on the flavor of other ingredients that is why it is probably so popular as a food additive.”>

In Africa and around the world shea butter is utilized for its ability to soothe children’s skin, soften rough skin, protect against sunburn, chapping, irritation, ulcers and rheumatism.

The Making of Shea Butter

Creating shea butter from nuts is a monumental, labor-intensive task, involving huge amounts of water and wood, as it is made on an open wood fire. Along with the assistance of their children, West African women almost exclusively run the production of shea butter processing. Manufacture takes place during the rainy season. Preparation takes several days. Nuts are collected; boiled; sun dried; hand shelled; roasted and then crushed with a mortar and pestle. Water is added and a paste is formed. Several women knead and beat the paste in a pot until a skim floats to the surface. The fat is cleansed repeatedly, yielding white foam. The foam is boiled for several hours. The top layer is skimmed once more and this yields the white shea butter we commonly use.

Golden Shea is called ‘women’s gold’ because of the economic benefits woman’s harvesting work brings communities. Recently, I had the opportunity to try a lovely shea with a golden color imported by African Shea Butter Company (Terra Organics”>. I enjoy the golden shea butter immensely because it retains the smells of the open wood fires on which it is created in Africa.

A huge drawback to botanical products and natural cosmetics is the connection to people across the globe through plants. Shea butter is a way that all of us can make connections to our sisters in Africa, possibly making a positive impact on certain aspects of village life. Delving into a jar of golden shea can spiritually transport the user back to the African village in which shea butter was processed.

Using Shea Butter

Shea butter is remarkably high in unsaponifiables—up to 11% (this varies”>, giving natural UV protection. This is one of the reasons it is beloved by Africans whose skin and hair is almost constantly exposed to sunny and sometimes harsh weather conditions. The UV protection is useful elsewhere as well. Having some UV protection enables our hair to retain its natural vibrancy, color treatments and softness.

The emollient, (softening”> quality of shea butter makes it useful for hair and body care, as it is easily and quickly absorbed when applied topically. Shea butter is very dense and may be too heavy for oily or certain types of hair. Hair that is thin yet curly or wavy hair may become weighed down from shea. For those enthralled by its benefits who would still like to try it even though they have a lighter-textured hair I recommend using the shea butter as a hot oil treatment (see below”> followed by an astringent rinse of 1 part apple cider vinegar to 3 parts water. People who wear their hair in locs and use shea as a pomade will also find periodic astringent cleansing useful if they want to avoid oily build up that may occur. Oily build-up on locs weighs them down and makes them attract unsightly lint, dust and dirt. For locs, perform the astringent rinse monthly or bi-monthly depending on how frequently you are using shea.

Hot Shea Butter Hair Treatment

Still, for most types of hair, shea is a good hot oil treatment, wherein it is melted, cooled slightly, then applied warm to the ends of hair where split ends occur and to the scalp. Using a clean (art”> paintbrush is a handy way to apply the warmed oil to scalp. Part hair in sections as you work. Work quickly, before the shea solidifies. Put on a plastic cap; sit out in the sun, if possible, or under a dryer for at least 30 minutes. Alternatively, cover head with a bath towel to retain heat. After a half hour shampoo thoroughly and rinse. Shea adds shine and softens.

Hair Pomade

Africans have been using shea butter as a hair dressing for hundreds of years. This application is highly recommended for super thick, curly, kinky or dry hair. * Pomades are useful for those with naturally curly or wavy hair who want to smooth their hair for an elegant up-do like a chignon or French twist — this works especially well on freshly shampooed, wet hair.

Scoop out about a teaspoon of shea butter in the palm of hands (use less for short hair and more for longer hair”>. Place your palms together. Rub gently, using your body heat to melt the shea butter. Once shea transforms from solid to liquid, rub on your hair. Then style as usual. This is fine as a weekly hair dressing pomade for gloss and shine.

Socio-economic Implications of Shea Butter

African Shea Butter Company (whose name is changing to Shea Terra Organics”> and L’Occitane en Provenece make two of my favorite shea products lines. These two companies’ products are created using a unique approach that not only improves the hair and skin but also impacts some rural African village economies. UNIFEM, an organization that helps women in developing countries, helped broker a deal between L’Occitane and a co-op run by African women. L’Occitane buys much of its shea butter directly from Union des groupements Kiswendsida (UGK”> a large network of over one hundred shea producers. Without middlemen, all of the profit returns to the villages from which shea butter is harvested and manufactured. L’Occitane offers a full line of products featuring shea butter. These products are expensive, but the rich formulas allow the products to stretch a long way, making a smart beauty investment. The L’Occitane hair care line includes the Ultra Rich Hair Mask, which I have found to be very effective for helping damaged ends and dry hair. Milk Shampoo is moisturizing, useful for all hair types, particularly in winter or summer with the extremes of temperature experienced in many zones. Shea Hair Conditioner is good for normal hair and though there is heavy emphasis placed on ‘damaged’ hair, plenty of naturally curly tops have normal hair that does not need ‘intensive’ treatment. Then there is the Pure Shea Butter that makes an excellent hair pomade, end treatment and hot oil treatment. These products are available all over the country and internationally by mail order. Learn more here, including the story of the collaboration between the company and African women’s shea co-ops. African Shea Butter Company (Shea Terra Organics”> is a woman-owned and operated mail order firm. I interviewed Tammie Umbel, founder and sole proprietor of this company. It is apparent that Umbel’s company’s main object is helping African people, through trade, using traditional methods, materials and indigenous plants. Umbel contracts with African soapmakers; wraps her soap line in traditionally dyed African fabric and indigenous papers. African Shea Butter Company sells a variety of high-grade shea butter products that will appeal to the do-it-yourself type as well as though who prefer to purchase prepared products for resale or personal use.Umbel is now reaching out to other women’s cooperatives that harvest and manufacture baobab and black seed oil, lemon grass and bourbon geranium essential oil. Quite impressively as well, the CEO is also the mother of ten children. Dealing with natural oils from Africa is her way of contributing to the well-being of not only her clientele but also of her very large and still growing family. This shop has a website.

Benefits of using shea butter

Prevents dryness of the skin & hair
Protects hair and skin from the sun
Soothes burns
Highly moisturizing for skin and hair
Improve skin softness and suppleness
Ideal for dry or sensitive skin
Prevents and treats scalp dryness
Provides good lubrication for the hair resulting in improved brilliance and manageability
Soothing, moisturizing and protecting effects
Anti-aging & anti-wrinkling properties

Have you tried Shea butter on your hair? How did your hair react? Share in the comments below.

Relax with Aloe Vera

By Cozy Friedman · Published October 10, 2017

There are a couple of ways people cope with kinky, curly or wavy hair.

First, we tend to fuss with it, reaching for heat instruments, chemical relaxers, chemical treatments or torturous hairstyles that “tame it down.” You know, keep it in control.

Then there are those who are happy to let their hair do its thing, finding pleasure in its many twists and turns.

Like most of you reading this article, I’ve been in both places. Most of my youth was spent having my hair cared for by others: greased-up, pulled back, poofed up, smoothed down, pressed hard and, alas, relaxed until it was lifeless and the scalp of my very sensitive head was blistered, scarred and scorched.

For nearly the last decade, I’ve been in the second camp. To start the journey, I found pleasure wearing a very short, close-cropped ‘fro. I’ve worn my hair in phat plaits, minute micro-braids, sculptural corn-rows, Goddess braids, double-strand twists with and without extensions and Nubian knots. The beauty shops found a good client in me. It was from the double-strand twist that my hair decided to lock up on its own, and now they trail well past the middle of my back.

What has been the common thread while in both camps? A plant known as aloe vera.

Aloe Vera Gel

Aloe vera gel is a boon for us kinky, curly gals. It helps fix damage from heat appliances. For natural sistahs in the other camp, aloe vera should be one of your staples.

Aloe vera is the styling aid nonpareil, smoothing as it is soothing, controlling without stiffness. If you wear your hair straightened, heat set, flat-ironed, pressed, corn-rowed, French braided, micro-braided, Sengalese twist, Nubian knotted, straw set, afro-puffed or in a straight up afro, this is the natural ingredient for all of you. That is why it’s showing up as the main ingredient in a growing number of hair products for curly hair.

Just as there are two camps, there are different ways to use aloe:

Use aloe vera after procedures that cause burns and for the treatment for blisters and scars
Use for setting of any type of wet hair (braided ‘wave set’, ‘rod set’, ‘straw set’, hard curler set and so forth”>
Use as an astringent (reduces oily build up”>
Use as a styling aid to emphasize wave pattern, curly texture for men, women and children and certain pets
Use as an African setting aid: for French braids, corn rows, lock maintenance, micro-braids, etc

There’s much more to know about aloe vera, this widely available, inexpensive, animal and earth friendly herb.

Aloe is a succulent plant with clusters of long, bayonet-like leaves that is prickly at the edges and tips. It can produce a woody stem up to 15 meters tall. It has spikes of flowers in various colors, including yellow, orange and red.

The aloe plant has a lengthy history in Africa and the Middle East. Prospero Alpino reported Egyptian women perfumed their genitals with aloe. Aloe was used in remedies to treat fever and plague. The plants grew in Somalia in the times of Alexander’s conquests. In the Bible, aloe is referred to as “ahaloth,” and is recorded as a perfumery herb. The Copts used aloe with other ingredients to treat eye disease, swelling and other disorders.

In recent history, people felt they could gain health benefits from orally consuming aloe juice and the gel. Aloe does contain volatile oils and aloins that are very purgative. Because of its purgative quality, it shouldn’t be used if you are pregnant or have hemorrhoids. Consumption of aloe in large quantities could prove very painful. As it stands, there is no thorough scientific test to show consuming aloe has health benefits.

The Jamaican people have a great adoration for aloe, which they call “Sinkle Bible.” In Jamaica, it is used to cut the sweetness in the blood. It is also used to purify the blood, cleanse the system and calm the nerves.

Aloe Vera Gel Recipe

Today, aloe is mostly used in skin- and hair-care products. Here’s an easy way you can make aloe vera gel right at home.

Purchase a long aloe stalk at the green grocer, botanica or fruitera, or an entire plant from a florist if desired.
Thank the aloe for sharing her medicine with you.
Cut off just enough of the leaf as is needed.
Slit it open using a penknife or sharp kitchen knife.
Scrape gel into a plastic bag, plate or container.
Apply to the area to be treated or styled.

Aloe is widely available in health food stores and even in regular drugstores and supermarkets. I recommend purchasing the product pure and organic for your hair, skin and scalp.

Aloe Hair Products

Stephanie Rose Bird is author of “Four Seasons of Mojo: An Herbal Guide to Natural Living” and group for eclectic practitioners of earth-based spirituality using her books as study guides:

Cozy Q&A: How to Find Curly Kids’ Hair Salons

By Cozy Friedman · Published May 17, 2011

Do you need help with your child’s curly hair? Cozy has all the answers.

Dear Cozy: I need to take my 6-year-old curly twins for their first haircuts. My friends go to your location on 84th and Madison and overheard that there’s a stylist there who specializes in curlies. How can I find out who that is? Or is there someone at one of the other salons? I’m very nervous about this haircut (one of them is donating to Locks of Love since her hair is very long”>.

A: You are smart to inquire about a stylist who specializes in curly hair! We actually have a few stylists at each of our salons that are amazing with curly hair, so no need to worry.

What I recommend to you is to call the location that is most convenient and ask who would be great for curly hair & find out their schedule. If you’re not in NYC, you can use the salon finder to find curly kids’ hair salons in your area. It’s a tough question for me to answer, as many of our stylists work in a few of our locations and their schedules do change. But have no fear—the receptionist will surely guide you to the right person.

Don’t forget to bring your video camera for the special occasion!

Is Hair Dead?

By Cozy Friedman · Published March 7, 2011

Is your hair damaged?

While most experts agree that hair strands are dead, many mysteries of hair remain unsolved.

No pulse or nerve endings can be found in hair, and yet this supposedly dead substance can undergo radical and unexpected changes.

Side effects from medication and anesthetic affect the hair to such an extent that even the strongest perm solutions won’t penetrate. Hormone imbalance during pregnancy can alter the structure of the entire head.

From fine, straight hair a wave can occur, evolving into a full head of curls . . . sometimes lasting a couple of months, sometimes forever.

The most unusual change I ever witnessed was when a regular client with natural brown hair color lost 60% of her color from roots to ends overnight, after her husband had a severe heart attack . . . I can only presume that it was totally stress-related. Restoring hair damage is a creative challenge to even the most enthusiastic hair stylists.

Because hair is porous and has the ability to absorb, we can control what we put into the hair strand. The key is knowing what minerals need to be deposited. There are a lot of unknown facts about hair.

Every day researchers discover something new—making hairdressing in the 21st century a very exciting time.

Quinoa for Clean, Strong, Sexy Hair

By Cozy Friedman · Published March 1, 2011

Quinoa

We’re hearing more and more about the miracle “grain” quinoa—mostly as a tasty super-food, but also, increasingly, as an ingredient in hair care products. Let’s learn more about this high-protein food, which though commonly referred to as a grain, is technically not a grain.

Quinoa (Chenopodium quinoa Willd.”>, pronounced KEEN-WAH, is also called Quinua, meaning “mother grain,” in Inca language. Other names for Quinoa include vegetable caviar and Inca Rice. While it may seem new to many readers, it was a staple in the Inca diet and is still enjoyed regularly by the Quechua and Aymara people, who are their descendents. Quinoa has been consumed consistently over the past 5,000 years by people who inhabit the mountainous and valley regions of Peru, Bolivia, Ecuador and Chile. The indigenous people that have enjoyed Quinoa believe it enriches and oxygenates the blood.

Growth and Habit

Quinoa is an annual herb. It is related to the useful weed lambs-quarters (Chenopodium album L.”> and it is a relative of several types of beets and spinach. Quinoa plants have a wide range of heights, ranging from 1½ to 6½ feet and come in an array of colors that include white, pink, purple, dark red, yellow and black. Its leaves resemble a goose foot. The seed comes in large clusters on a panicle resembling sorghum—about the size of millet. The seed has two flat surfaces and a rounded side similar to an aspirin. The seeds range in color from black, to red and pink, white and yellow. Quinoa is a hardy, drought-resistant plant that grows well with little rainfall and at high altitudes.

Quinoa tends to grow in South America in areas that are drought-prone, with hardly any fertility. The plants can tolerate light frost but should not be exposed to temperatures below 28 degrees Fahrenheit. The plant’s seed is similar to sorghum at maturity.

Quinoa’s Nutrition-Packed Punch

Quinoa has recently burst onto the health scene and it is viewed as a super-food and a super crop. While treated like a grain in American cooking, Quinoa is a broadleaf non-legume and sometimes referred to as a pseudocereal. The protein in Quinoa is extremely high quality and much denser in protein than true cereals, which stem from grassy plants. Comparable to buckwheat and amaranth, Quinoa is higher in lysine (which promotes hair growth”> than wheat. The amino acids quinoa seeds contain are balanced in a way that is very complementary to animal and human nutrition. Quinoa is also lower in sodium and higher in calcium, iron, copper, zinc, manganese, potassium, phosphorous and magnesium than barley, corn or wheat. Minerals and amino acids have been proven to aid in the conditioning of hair and skin. Besides yielding a grain-like substance served like rice, Quinoa is also useful in the making of flour. Quinoa flour is used as a starch extender in combination with corn meal, grains and wheat flour, in the making of baked goods and processed foods. This useful plant is also used for cereal, different types of soups, and alcohol.

Quinoa for Your Hair

Quinoa offers accessible vegetable protein to gently cleanse and nourish your hair. Its amino acids help repair damage to the hair shaft while its proteins coat, strengthen and protect the hair. Packed with vitamins and minerals as well as amino acids, Quinoa can aid in hair growth while preventing breakage. Many new shampoos and conditioners are utilizing this beneficial herb. Look for hydrolized quinoa protein. This type of formulation is believed to form a protective barrier over the hair shaft, while it encourages sheen. Its humectants attract moisture from the air, while generally conditioning your hair, yielding a well-defined curl pattern and a sexy head of hair.

Nexxus recently launched a new product line—Phyto Organics ChromaLife Colour Retention System—that relies on quinoa’s amazing benefits. PhytoSpecific’s Moisturizing Styling Balm also contains quinoa oil. And Aveda’s Damage Remedy Daily Hair Repair contains quinoa protein, too.

It sounds like an ingredient definitely worth looking for!

Stephanie Rose Bird is a practicing herbalist. She is the author of five books including, “The Big Book of Soul: the Ultimate Guide to the African American Spirit: Legend & Lore, Music & Mysticism, Recipes & Rituals,” published by Hampton Roads Publishers. She is also the author of the recently published, “A Healing Grove: Recipes and Rituals for Body and Spirit,” published by Lawrence Hill Books. Her website is at StephanieRoseBird.com.

Curly Hair Kids’ Products That Won’t Dry Hair

By Cozy Friedman · Published February 18, 2011

Dear Cozy:

I have a 3-year-old, I think 2C, who has dry hair and beautiful curls under, but the top layer is a little less curly. Her hair is always knotty unless she just gets out of the bath with a leave-in conditioner. And that only lasts for a little while. I would like a non-drying shampoo and conditioner, some type of detangler and some type of product to get the curls into shape the next day. Any help or advice would be appreciated.

So Cozy Tropical Fruit 2-in-1

Dear Layered Curls:

For dry hair, you can’t go wrong with a lot of extra conditioning. Try a conditioning shampoo in addition to a great conditioner. I would recommend So Cozy 2 in 1 Tropical Fruit Conditioning Shampoo and then finish off with So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner. Both products have hydrolyzed wheat protein, which will really help to hydrate her dry hair. You also add a dime-size amount of conditioner to her ends and don’t rinse out. This will help add more hydration.

To help reset her curls the next day and help with hydration, use So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-In Conditioner. So Cozy products were formulated specifically for children, so these gentle formulations are packed with vitamins and minerals to promote growth, while at the same time solving problems unique to children.

Dear Cozy:

I wanted to get some advice on how to handle my little boy’s hair. He has tight curly hair that looks dry, and he is always scratching his head. His hair texture is similar to that of my husband, who suffers from dry scalp. I have stopped washing his hair with shampoo/body wash because I fear it is making it worse. I have been researching online for organic hair products (shampoo and conditioners”> to help moisturize his hair but I have found nothing. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Dear Dry Curls:

I think it would be a good idea to ask your pediatrician and rule out any medical issues, although it’s unlikely since you haven’t mentioned any rash or skin issues. I would also recommend doing a thorough lice check if his scalp is so itchy. Keep I mind that anyone can get lice and that it doesn’t have anything to do with cleanliness.

If you rule out all of the above and still have itchy head issues, I would limit the amount of times you shampoo, but not cut out completely. You do still need to cleanse about once a week. Be sure to use a gentle formulation made specifically for children, and I would recommend using a 2 in 1 Conditioning Shampoo like So Cozy Tropical Fruit, as it is enriched with wheat protein, which will help to maintain hydration.

So Cozy Fruity Delight Leave-In

Dear Cozy:

I’m trying to use the shampoo free method on my 16-month-old who has lots of hair. Her hair is 4a. I used Aussie’s Moist Conditioner to co wash and as her leave in. I DO NOT LIKE how her hair feels. Also, there is gunk on some of her strands. As a side note, I used it in my hair for the same purposes and it seemed to work just fine. I’m a 3b. Is Aussie Moist Conditioner a CG approved conditioner? What should I use as a leave in and to moisturize her hair? Please please please help me. I do not know what to do. Thank you.

Dear Aussie:

This is the perfect example of the importance of using hair care products formulated specially for children! As you can see, your hair texture, needs, etc., are quite different from your child’s, so it’s no surprise that your child’s hair reacts so differently to the same product that you used.

I’m curious why you are using the “shampoo free method” on your little girl. Have you tried a gentle, tear free shampoo and not been satisfied? As for a leave-in, try So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-In Conditioner. Aside from being a great detangler, it’s a wonderful Leave-In Conditioner that you can use as often as you’d like without the hair feeling weighed down or “gunky”.

Dear Cozy:

I have a 3-year-old with beautifully curly hair on the bottom and all around her face. The problem is the top of her head — she has straight hair on top. I don’t know what to do with her hair. No matter what I do it looks like a mess. Most days I just end up putting a head band on her so that she can see (with her crazy hair it is always in her face”>. I just don’t know what to do with her two different hair types. And I’m not really sure what to do with curly hair because I myself have straight hair that won’t even keep a curl. My sister with curly hair says NEVER brush it, just comb; that does keep the curls from frizzing, but doesn’t help with the top layer. Any advice is VERY appreciated!

Dear Crazy Hair:

It is not unusual for a 3-year-old to have more than one hair type—it’s actually quite common! Eventually, her hair will make up its mind and it will all come together. In the meantime, here’s some advice. First, I’d recommend taking her to a stylist that you trust for a consultation. It could be as simple as putting in some long layers on top. Long layers will help lighten up the strands and encourage the curls to come out.

Next, I agree with your sister. Never, ever brush curly hair! It’s true that it will cause frizzing. It’s ok to comb the hair when wet, but then you need to let it dry naturally. If this is a problem with the top, even after you have consulted a stylist, you may want to consider some camouflage tricks. You are on the right track with headbands, but you can also try cute little clips and elastics. Everything with children is just a passing phase, and this too shall pass. Don’t worry!

Curly Kids Q&A: How Do I Make Her Braids Last Longer?

By Cozy Friedman · Published November 22, 2010

Dear Cozy: My baby has curly hair—around 3b/c—and every time I braid her hair. it gets frizzy around day 3 and I want to start doing protective braids and leave in for 2 weeks but by the end of week 1, her hair looks like a disaster. Should I use braid sheen or what? I need help.

A: Braid sheen is a great idea. Try spraying in a small amount the second day of the braids and then approximately every other day after that. Be careful just to use a little sheen, otherwise it will make hair greasy. Now, here’s a secret tip—put a bandanna on your daughter’s head before bed, as this will help keep hair from getting ruffled and frizzy.

Fruity Delight Detangler

Dear Cozy: I’m a mostly straight-haired mom with a 2 1/2-year-old daughter. She has very fine strawberry blond hair. It was straight until she was about a year old but started to become curly. Now it is about a 3a, and seems to be getting curlier by the day. There is still some hair underneath at the back that is straight: I expect that it will eventually get taken off by haircuts. At the front where her hair is a bit shorter, especially in this warm weather, it is very much tight corkscrews. It is still quite thin but getting thicker and I have very thick (but fine”> hair so it is possible she is heading in that direction. I’m at a loss as I’ve never dealt with hair like this. Initially we were washing it every night: I’ve just started a 2x a week regimen to see if that helps. We are using the Johnson’s curly hair no-tear shampoo/ conditioner. It gets VERY tangled though on account of being so fine, so we rinse it and then I spray some Johnson’s detangler in it and comb it through and let it dry. The tangles are tiny little knots so I don’t think detangling with fingers is an option. In the morning it is a huge, tangled frizzy mess, so I spray it with water and get it quite wet, then detangler and then I comb it. Sometimes I need to do it again after her nap. It still gets frizzy regardless. I’m open to any suggestions as far as conditioners etc, and any other help!

A: Your daughter’s hair is definitely “maturing,” just like the rest of her! It’s great that you recognize this & are changing your care regimen. Washing less often is definitely the right start. So many people over-wash their children’s hair. As for products, I think that the best thing to do is to experiment with different products and find what works best for you. If you aren’t happy with what you are currently using, try something else! I recommend the So Cozy line, which was created by the staff at Cozy’s Cuts For Kids in NYC. It was formulated specifically for children and is quite gentle and nourishing. The Fruity Delight Detangler is especially amazing!

As for the tangles, try putting in a loose braid or pony for her to sleep with at night to help prevent tangles, and try to keep her hair up during active times like sports or playground. Good luck!

Dear Cozy: My entire family are curly heads… One of the problems is that my youngest, who is 9 years old, pretty much has always had her hair either put into just a ponytail on top of back of her head or also braided. Now that we are trying to let our curls be free, her top part of her head and top layers are not really curling, they are just frizzy. I have been just conditioning her hair, have tried the lavender mist that Lorraine Massey suggests, but nothing is working. She is loving not having her hair up and braided. She is a very carefree spirit. Just do not know how to get her curls to start back in at this problem area. Any help or suggestions are welcome!

Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream

A: You may want to consult a hairstylist to see if a different haircut would help bring out the natural curl in her hair. Often times, when hair is too heavy, it weighs down the curls. A few long layers may solve that problem. As for the frizz, try a light styling cream to smooth the hair cuticle, but not weigh down the hair. Try So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream, it’s light weight so it’s perfect for your daughter’s hair.

Dear Cozy: My 2-year-old has curly hair . . . it spirals mostly, although the sides of her hair nearest her face are mostly straight. I was told that might be lingering baby hair. Her hair continues to grow in more and more curly. When wet, it is half way down her back. When dry, it barely covers her shoulders.

I am having a difficult time keeping tangles away. Have been washing it only when I must, and using a baby conditioner on her hair every time I bathe her.

The biggest problem right now is that it becomes severely knotted every time she rides in her car seat—and has recently started breaking off in back. TONS of tiny little knots. Sometimes I am forced to cut them out, as I cannot remove them even after oiling her hair. Any advice on how to prevent the car seat problem?

A: Tangles are a huge problem for curly-haired kids! You need to know 2 things. First, you need to know how to deal with them when she has them and secondly, how to prevent them from happening in the first place!

For starters, try using a thick and creamy children’s conditioner like So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner. Apply a generous amount and then with the conditioner in her hair, comb through her hair with a wide tooth comb. The trick to doing that painlessly is to take small sections, one at a time and comb them, working one inch at a time from the bottom up. The real trick to keeping it painless is to hold the hair strand you are working on with one hand, while combing the bottom with the other. This will prevent tugging.

In between bathing, use So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler to keep hair knot-free. Use the same combing method.

As for tangle prevention, wearing a loose braid or pony to bed at night will help a lot. Also, keeping her hair up during active times like during sports and playground time will help a lot, too.

One last piece of advice, the best way to deal with tangles is to constantly stay on top of them. Once you get too far gone, it’s nearly impossible to deal with without cutting the hair out.

Upcoming Interview With Willow Smith’s Stylist

By Cozy Friedman · Published October 26, 2010

Have you been wondering how in the world someone got Willow Smith’s hair into a heart for her Whip My Hair video or where all of her colorful dos came from? What about what it’s like to work with the Smith family? Well you’re in luck! Tune in to www.livestream.com/mynappyroots at 11 p.m. Eastern time on October 26 to hear a live interview with Willow’s stylist, Marcia Hamilton.

If you haven’t seen the video yet, check it out so you know exactly what styles Marcia is talking about!

Curly Kids Q&A: My 9-Year-Old’s Hair is Frizzy

By Cozy Friedman · Published October 1, 2010

Dear Cozy: One of the problems I am having is my youngest, who is 9 years old, pretty much has always had her hair either put into just a ponytail on top of back of her head or also braided….Now that we are trying to let our curls be free, her top part of her head and top layers are not really curling, they are just frizzy. I have been just conditioning her hair, have tried the lavendar mist that Lorraine Massey suggests, but nothing is working. She is loving not having her hair up and braided. She is a very carefree spirit. Just do not know how to get her curls to start back in at this problem area. Any help or suggestions are welcome!

A: Your daughter’s hair will take some time to come into its own. Be sure to never brush her hair, and you’ll want to “scrunch” with an alcohol-free gel after bathing. Be sure to get as close to the roots as you can, to help encourage her natural curl to come out and to smooth the cuticle.

Dear Cozy: I have a 7-month-old son with dry, frizzy hair. I don’t really know his hair type, but it is between a 3c, 4a, or 4b (maybe a combination of the three”>. I am currently using a line of products for multi-racial children, but his hair still looks dry after a few hours. I only wash his hair maybe once a week or I even let a week and a few days go by before actually shampoo washing. What am I doing wrong? HELP!!!!

A: You need to keep his hair hydrated as much as possible. Try using a spray leave-in conditioner that you can apply whenever hair is feeling dry and dull. So Cozy Fruity Detangler is a favorite for kids because it smells so good and parents because it really works! Also, don’t was hair too often. Once or twice a week is fine.

Dear Cozy: My daughter has 3c type hair. All she does is wash and pull it into a top pony, and leaves it. It frizzes and falls out, never looks good. Drives my nuts, and she will not take advice from me. I have type 3, but hers is thicker and tighter curls then mine. I need help on how to help her deal with her hair. She has decided to go into the military, which means she needs to get a handle on this hair or she will have to go bald.

A: If she is going into the military, I’m assuming she won’t have much time to be styling her hair and will need to have a very carefree routine. What’s amazing is that curly hair can be super-easy to care for with the help of the right products. Most important for her hair is a great gel that she can “scrunch” into her hair after showering. If she allows hair to air dry, her natural curls will form. When hair is dry, she can scrunch a little finishing cream or a little more gel to help soften the curls and help to keep hair smooth.

Dear Cozy: My 5-year-old daughter, who I believe is a 3c, has never had a hair cut. Her hair now hangs only a few inches below her chin but it is down the middle of her back if I pull it straight when it’s wet. It’s hard to tell, but it sort of looks like it might be a little longer on one side than the other. I’m really hesitant to cut this hair because several people have told me that the key to taming it is allowing it to acquire more length. Still, when it is dry, it looks like a bush that needs shaping.

Should we just wait it out and hope that it calms down with more length or is there a kind of cut that is ideal for her hair type? The hair needs a gallon of product just to look the way it does in my avatar. It’s absolutely wild.

A: I agree that length will help prevent it from looking bushy, but a proper haircut for curly hair is imperative! You don’t have to cut a lot, but giving her a trim and shaping it up will make a tremendous difference. Be sure to find a stylist who is very experienced cutting curly hair. Search here to find a curl specialist in your area. Or you can call a salon and ask them who their best stylist is for curly hair or if you see someone with nice curly hair, ask them where they get their haircut.

Kids Curly Hair Q&A: Can My 10-year-old Deep Condition By Herself?

By Cozy Friedman · Published February 1, 2010

Dear Cozy: My daughter will be 10 at the end of this month and I want to start teaching her to care for her hair. I have on occasion let her rinse her deep conditioner out while she was in the shower (actually once “> and she has been begging to keep doing every since. So my question is 10 to young? I will of course be assisting her, and I’m not sure that I would actually let her do her weekly co-washes alone, but maybe rinsing her DT’s and showing her how to detangle.

A: I think it’s wonderful that she wants to take an active role in her grooming, and by all means you should allow it! There’s no reason that you can’t do a quick check when she’s finished, just to be sure she rinsed thoroughly. I would seize the moment and take this opportunity to teach her about proper grooming. Enjoy — this is special time between a mother and a daughter that you will both remember for the rest of your lives!

Dear Cozy: My daughter is 2 and has curly, wavy and even some hair that seems straight. Almost her entire canopy is straight/wavy but her hair underneath is very curly. I really have no idea where the straight hair came from, but there it is! Anyway, she is due for a trim soon and I was debating whether to let them give her bangs. It isn’t something I’ve ever thought about before, as I haven’t had bangs since I was a teenager in the 80s, but a few people have mentioned that she would look cute with them.

I get her hair trimmed every few months so the ends stay healthy, but am letting it grow out so I ask them not to cut more than 1/4″ off at a time (unfortunately, the last person who cut her hair cut off way too much and now it’s back to the length it was 6 months ago–UGH”>. With her curl/wave pattern being something I have no experience with, I don’t really know what would be a good cut for her. So I just have the ends trimmed and that’s it.

A: It’s difficult to make a recommendation as to a hairstyle without actually seeing her hair, but I do have some advice. First, you should know that a variety of hair types is quite common for young children. This is because baby hair is growing out and new hair is growing in. Very often, children’s hair type changes as they age (same with adults”>. My guess is that the “newer” hair growth, is likely to be the way her hair will be for the near future. A great option that is very in-style right now is side bangs. You can see on TV and in the movies that it’s the new, hot style. It’s not as drastic as cutting bangs, as they are longer and not as blunt and thus easier to grow in if you aren’t happy with it.

Dear Cozy: I need to find some products that might work for my 3-year-old daughter. I don’t know what is worse — the summer with the pool or the winter with the heat on. I have stopped shampooing and have been braiding to keep it so it doesn’t mat up. What’s your routine? From shampoo and product to second day hair? What leave-in should I use. I haven’t been using any. Suggestions… I am open and willing for anything right now.

A: I definitely recommend using products that are formulated specifically for children’s hair. You are absolutely right, it’s hard to say which is harder on your hair—summer or winter?! So Cozy Hair Care for Children has products that will address all of your child’s needs. Try the Green Apple Swimmer’s Shampoo in the summer and the Sweet Strawberry Conditioner in the winter. Use the Fruity Delight Detangler & Leave-In Conditioner all year round. Sleeping with a loose braid or pony will help prevent matting, but for heavy duty detangler, try combing out her hair with a wide-toothed comb in the tub with So Cozy Lucky Lime PreDetangling Cream.

Dear Cozy: My daughter will soon be 6 yearss old and she is starting to lose her curls. I just started the shampoo free method one month ago. She is still losing curl definition in the back by the end of the day. She also has back-of-hair frizz. I figure hair weight may be an issue. She is a 2b, 2c, 3a parts with thick medium/coarse hair. She use to be 3a-3b. Her last hair cut almost left the back in a barely 2a, with loss of ringlets even in the nape area. Ideas?

A: There are 2 possibilities as to what’s going on with your daughter’s hair. The first possibility is that her haircut is lacking layers, which means it’s weighing down her curls. The more likely possibility however, is that her hair texture is changing and she won’t be a curly girl for much longer. It’s quite common for a child’s hair type to change as they get older, which is usually much harder for parents to face than the kids!

Curly College Scene: How to Find the Perfect Stylist

By Cozy Friedman · Published September 1, 2009

Poking around the new CurlStylist.com site recently reminded me that I haven’t gotten a hair cut in a while. I think it’s awesome that stylists with an interest in curlyheads have their own site. For those of us with curly hair, a good stylist can totally transform our look.

The first time I went to a curl-friendly stylist was when I was in seventh grade. Up until that point, I went to the barbershop with my dad. I always got my hair cut by the same aging Italian gentleman who cut my father’s hair. He would sit me in the chair, spray my hair with some water, cut straight across the bottom, give me my choice of those cute and tiny Dum Dum lollypops and then off I’d go. My hair was generally a frizzy mess, but I didn’t know enough to care. My idea of a “style” was a matronly coil bun. This changed in the fall of seventh grade, when my mother made me an appointment at a local hair salon. Not only did the stylist give me my first good haircut, she also taught me how to bring out the best in my curls. I wasn’t surprised that she transformed my hair from an unruly mess to well-defined curls, but I was surprised to learn how easy it was to replicate the style myself. That haircut was a breakthrough.

Since then, I’ve had stylists move away or switch careers, and I’ve had to look for a new stylist more than once. While bouncing around from stylist to stylist, I’ve had some pretty unfortunate haircuts. At one point I had these heavy, rounded layers on either side of my face that looked exactly like floppy puppy dog ears. Cute look for a canine, not so much for a high school student. I’m currently looking for a new stylist, and picking a good one is especially important as I consider going shorter than shoulder length for the first time. I read this site’s article “Top Ten Clues to Finding a Savvy Stylist” which offers a lot of good advice, from good questions to ask to ways to determine how curl friendly a salon is. The first step in the article is “find a matchmaker” and I definitely think word-of-mouth is a curly girl’s secret weapon, whether she’s looking for a new hairdresser or the perfect styling product! Getting good advice is especially easy on NaturallyCurly.com, where the web brings thousands of curly girls together every day.

As I experienced in middle school, a good stylist can really transform your look. When you find one that really understands your hair, let them know how much you appreciate their expertise with kind words, generous tips and frequent referrals!

Stay Curly,

Julia

Kids Curly Hair Q&A: Which Products to Use in my Child’s Curly Hair?

By Cozy Friedman · Published August 6, 2009

Q: I have a precious 5-year-old daughter. She is biracial (black/white”> and she has very soft curly hair. I need help with which products I should be using in her hair.

Mom needs help with selecting products for her 5-year-old daughter.

It’s hard to make a product recommendation without understanding what the problem is and what you feel you need help with. I suspect that her hair is on the dry side and that she would benefit greatly from moisturizing. She would certainly benefit from a thick and creamy conditioner (So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner“>, as well as a spray leave- in conditioner. Try So Cozy Fruity Delight Leave-In Conditoner & Detangler. This will keep her hair detangled as well as deliver the hydration her hair needs. Her hair is gorgeous!!

Q:My daughter is almost 8 with 3c hair. I have been trying to get rid of the frizz, I have been frustrated for some time. She is a a stage where she wants to comb her hair and play with it several times a day. I feel that if I keep telling her to stop playing with her hair that she is going to start to hate it. I just do not know what to do.

Cozy: Typically I receive questions about what to do with their kids who won’t comb their hair, so this is a welcome change! It’s wonderful that your daughter has taken such an interest in her grooming, but like anything else, all things are best in moderation! I suspect that this is just a phase, and the intensity of it will pass when she moves on to the next phase.

As for the frizz, combing and brushing curly hair will make it frizzy because it ruffles the cuticles, which is what makes it look fuzzy. Perhaps you can teach her how to work with her hair in a way that will look better and not make it frizzy. Also, if she is experimenting with styles like braids and ponies, that can help make it look better and keep frizz at bay.

Q: My youngest daughter has curly hair — little ringlets. It is starting to get a little frizzy around the top of her head. I need to know what products to get for her hair and how to use them. Please tell me more about how to care for her hair. I’m very new to curls. I have hair that is only curly underneath and have never been able to do anything with it. So I wear a ponytail every day! Thanks for helping a newbie!

Cozy: I’d recommend a light styling cream for her fine hair. You don’t want to use anything heavy or thick because that will weigh her fine hair down and will end up taking away the gorgeous curls. Try So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream after bathing. Just “scrunch” in a quarter size amount, distributing evenly around the hair. You can also use on dry hair in between baths as a touch up. Use a little less on dry hair.

Q: I have an 11-year-old daughter with hair that has been giving me a headache for the past five years. It’s super thick and looks like she stuck her finger in a light socket! When she gets out of the shower, she has very pretty ringlets. But once it dries, it pops up into a frizz nest. I am clueless about what to put in her hair and how to style it. She just puts it in a ponytail. The ends are really dry and I have tried everything I can think of. I have straight hair so I don’t know what to do to help her.

Cozy: The goal is to lock in those gorgeous ringlets that you see after she showers. Try an alcohol-free gel like So Cozy Groovy Grape Styling Gel. This will help to keep the cuticle smooth, which is what prevents frizz. You can experiment with how much to use, starting with a quarter-size “scrunched” in evenly throughout her hair. My secret tip for dried-out ends is to use a thick and creamy conditioner (try So Cozy Sweet Strawberry Conditioner“> and not completely rinse out of the ends of the hair. This will help to lock in extra moisture that is needed to hydrate the dried-out hair.

Q: I have straight hair, but my kids have very curly hair, courtesy of their dad. A “friend” of mine told me that every picture she sees of my children, they look wild! I do admit I don’t brush their hair a lot, as its always such a battle, gets very tuggy and I feel awful doing it. So normally it’s only been shampooed and conditioned. Their dad is no use because he doesn’t do anything to his! It’s always frizzy, too. How do I tame the curls? Should I brush daily? What products could I use?

Cozy: This brings back memories! My hair was the same crazy hair you are describing. Good news—there is a way to deal with this that won’t be a battle and will solve your problems!

Don’t try to comb or brush their hair when it’s dry. Instead, get a wide-toothed detangling comb and keep it in the tub. Get So Cozy Lucky Lime Pre-Detangler, which was created to be used in the tub after shampooing. You can use this instead of your regular conditioner or in addition to it (extra moisturizer is always great for curly kids”>. Apply a generous amount and comb through hair and tangles. After bathing, “scrunch” in a light styling cream to avoid frizz. Let hair dry naturally (or if you need to blow dry hair, always use a diffuser”>.

Q: I’m Irish with straight, very thin, naturally red hair—but my daughter seems to have inherited my grandfather’s semi-curly hair! So, blondish curls on top (wispy—kind of poodle like”>, easy-to-see-layers that I think will be wavy on the sides. I’m kinda

at a loss as to how to care for it. My questions are:

Shampoo suggestions? Mommy blogs have recommended The Original Little Sprout – Moisturizing Baby Shampoo. I have to wash it every night because she’s a messy eater.

What kind of hair brush? (And where to buy”>

Is brushing curly different than brushing straight hair? I feel like I’m flattening her curls, which I don’t want to do… I just want to remove any tangles.

Cozy: You are right, brushing her curls isn’t the way to go. Instead, use a wide-toothed comb in the tub when you condition. This will remove the tangles and neaten things up. If you let her hair dry naturally, her natural curl will develop. The wavy hair on the sides will likely start to shape up a little. As for shampoo, I recommend So Cozy Very Berry Tear Free Shampoo; it was formulated specifically for children with 11 herbal extracts, including comfrey (soothes and protects”> and horsetail (critical to hair growth”>. Plus, it smells so good that kids love to use it!

Learn more about and ask questions of Cozy and our other columnists.

Kids Curly Hair Q&A: Curls or Cowlicks?

By Cozy Friedman · Published July 1, 2009

Q: I know it’s probably way too early to tell and her hair texture will probably change, but I can’t tell the difference between curls and cowlicks. I have 2 boys — one with thick, coarse, straight hair, and the other with fine hair that would probably be wavy if it were longer. My baby girl is 8 months old now with fine hair that is a lot thinner than either of the boys. She has a few areas in the front on the right side and on the back left that seem to stick up more than they did when they were shorter. How do I tell whether she’s going to have beautiful curls, or whether she’s going to be fighting cowlicks her whole life?

Cozy: A cowlick is hair that grows in a circular direction, so you can tell a cowlick by looking at the roots to see which direction the hair is growing. The most typical problem with cowlicks is that the hair sticks up. To prevent this, don’t cut the cowlick short, that’s what makes it stick up. Instead, when cutting hair, leave the cowlick longer than the rest of the hair. Also, don’t fight with the cowlick. Comb it in the direction it is growing.

Q: We have been waiting for my daughter to finally get some hair, but now that it is here, I am finding it to be crazy frizzy and hard to manage. The products I have tried are not really working anymore. I know this is just going to get harder to manage as her hair keeps growing unless I start with the product modification now. Her hair is very fine and very frizzy — possibly a 3A. I’d love some product recommendations.

Cozy: Finding the right products will be a trial and error process for your daughter, just like it is for you! I definitely recommend using products formulated specifically for children so that they will address your daughter’s needs. For fine hair, you don’t want to weigh it down with heavy products. So Cozy has 2 different products that should help prevent frizz and manage hair. Try Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream. You can use it on wet or dry hair. Just scrunch it into her hair anytime you need to remove frizz or help to redefine the curls. You can also try Groovy Grape Alcohol Free Styling Gel. Use a little or a lot, depending on the amount of hold she requires.

Q: I need help/advice for my daughter’s hair. She is a 3c/4a and 9 years old. Her hair is very long — at least mid-back. She is not able to do her own hair yet. At what age should daughters be able to wash/condition/comb/style their own hair? She has a few more years until she will be totally independent, but in the meantime she should be learning good grooming habits and taking part in her own grooming.

Cozy: I recommend practicing in the evenings or weekends when you have spare time. Never try to teach her when you are rushing to get her to school or in a hurry. Having time to experiment and make mistakes will take the stress out of the grooming process.

Q: My daughter has come home with lice. This is our first experience, so we are learning as we go. She also has relatively curly hair and it tangles easily. The over-the-counter products are basically all poison/chemicals. We did one round and have almost destroyed her scalp, and her hair is extremely dry. AND we have do another session in 10 days. Is there a safer alternative?

Cozy: If you go online and search for lice remedies, you will notice that there are many different schools of thought on how to deal with lice, and this really has to do with your own personal philosophy regarding treatments. I recommend you look at all the alternatives on line and then discuss with your pediatrician.

Q: I have recently came to realize how naturally curly hair is beautiful. and how I was taught for so many years that natural hair is bad. My sister in law is the same way, and always wants to straighten my niece’s hair. I am trying to convince her to love it and stop combing. What suggestions can I give her so she can work with her daughter’s hair rather than fighting it. I feel like my niece could learn to embrace her natural texture if her mom was more positive about it.

Cozy: I wish someone would have taught me this lesson when I was a child. It would have saved me thousands of hours with a blow dryer trying to tame my curly hair and frizz! Perhaps you can style your niece’s hair and show your sister how beautiful her natural curls are! Make sure you never brush curly hair, and only comb it out in the tub. After bathing, scrunch hair with Styling Cream or Gel to enhance curls and keep frizz free. Let hair dry naturally or blow dry with diffuser. When hair is dry, re-scrunch with head upside down to add body and volume. You can also do this with a little styling cream to smooth hair. Good luck!

For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.

The Michael Jackson I Want to See

By Cozy Friedman · Published June 29, 2009

Whenever Elvis Presley’s name is mentioned, I send my mind back to the image of him during the famous dance sequence in the 1957 film “Jailhouse Rock.” That was a time when he was at his best and looked it.

Back then Elvis was sexy and slim. He wielded power in his pelvis and the curl of his upper lip. The alleged King of Rock ‘n’ Roll sealed his appeal with shiny black hair styled in a modified pompadour with a spit curl in front.

The image of Elvis that I refuse to let my mind dwell on is how he looked just before he died. I don’t want to remember him struggling through his performances bloated, overweight and dressed in jumpsuits that were hideously ornate. I particularly don’t want to remember the sight of him with those awful mutton chop sideburns and sporting a towering pompadour that seemed to reach as high as the headwraps once worn by Erykah Badu.

Now that Michael Jackson has died, my mind will have to make similar detours to images more pleasant and befitting of another legendary performer who would be King.

Linda hopes to remember Michael Jackson the way he used to be.

To get to the more pleasant images of the Michael Jackson that I knew and adored, my mind will have to reach way back. It will have to reach back to the time when the so-called King of Pop was beautiful and brown, relatively happy and indisputably nappy.

The image of Michael that I choose to remember performed without props or pyrotechnics.

Back in 1969, as lead singer of The Jackson Five, it was Michael’s pure voice and the harmonious backup of his brothers that charmed millions of viewers during their first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show. His soul-stirring rendition of “Who’s Loving You” was magnificent.

I choose to remember the Michael whose young voice had an old soul, but was sweet and innocent enough to garner a Golden Globe Award for crooning a love song to a rat.

The image of Michael that I want to remember does not have skin that looked bleached by Nadinola, a nose that was neutralized, and a face that looked like it was repeatedly bounced “Off the Wall.”

The Michael that I choose to remember did not have activated hair. He did not have hair so laden with flammable products that it once caught fire during filming of a Pepsi TV commercial.

Elvis’ spit curl was natural, Michael’s “S curl” wasn’t.

My memories of Michael Jackson will be selective. Whenever I think of him I will direct my mind to see the image of a man-child who was bright-eyed and extremely talented. I will see a Michael who had a face that was untainted, unviolated and protectively framed by a natural halo called an Afro.

Michael, I want you back.

I want you before you became confused and consumed by demons. The Michael I want back is the Michael who was black.

That is the Michael that I see resting in peace.

Contact Linda or read her bio.

Kids Curly Hair Q&A: Need Help with Lice

By Cozy Friedman · Published June 1, 2009

Q: My daughter has come home with lice. This is our first experience, so we are learning as we go. She also has relatively curly hair and it tangles easily. The over-the-counter products are basically all poison/chemicals. We did one round and have almost destroyed her scalp and her hair is extremely dry. And we have do another session in 10 days. Are there any alternatives that are safe and effective?

Cozy: There are many different philosophies about how to deal with lice. Some people do not believe in using pesticides and some do. Some believe in smothering the lice, and some don’t. It really is a personal choice. Your best bet is to consult your pediatrician to see what the options are. When you do finally rid your child of lice, use a lot of heavy-duty moisturizing to rehydrate the dried-out hair. I would recommend not completely rinsing the conditioner out of your daughter hair when she bathes and use BOO! Leave-In Conditioner daily to prevent lice from coming back. It is all natural, paraben free and safe to use daily.

Q: I’ve got a question about morning frizz. My 10-year-old daughter has fine 3a hair. She wears her hair braided for bed, but the hairs around her face escape and she wakes with a halo of frizz. Currently, she dampens it down and brushes it into submission for her school plaits. I’ve read that brushing isn’t good, so what do you do with children’s morning frizz?

Cozy: You are right — brushing hair isn’t good for curly hair, and will only create frizz by ruffling the cuticle. Instead, spray in So Cozy Fruity Delight Detangler and “scrunch” hair to reactivate her natural curl and remove frizz.

Q: My 2-year-old old daughter has very curly hair. I used to mostly put it in pig tails but lately she has lost patience with that idea! I have just been combing it out with a wide-toothed comb while I have conditioner all over it and then again once I rinse it out. I pat it a little to dry (just so it isn’t dripping”> and then put product on it. Then I put on one of her head bands and usually a bow. This photo was taken recently (I must not have washed it that morning; it is less frizzy on wash days”>. I have been thinking lately that maybe I should get her hair cut so that it has more of a style. Any suggestions? She has never even had a trim. When her hair is wet it is just past her shoulders.

Cozy: I think her hair is adorable! If you do want to cut it, make sure you go to someone who really understands curly hair, regardless of whether you are going for a trim or a real change. If it’s cut properly, it will grow into a nice shape and style.

Q: I’m a curly teen who recently discovered how to take care of my hair and who just got my first curly haircut! It was a fantastic moment and I’m definitely happy for finding a salon that understands my hair type. The bad news is that my cut cost $60. I’ve never had a cut over $30, and since I’m only 15, my parents are obviously supporting me in my financial needs (haha, nice way of putting it, I think!”>. My dad doesn’t at all understand the importance of taking care of my hair. When he found out about this Web site he thought I was being narcissistic! How can I explain to him that taking care of my hair is something important, and not some self-indulgent thing? And when I need to get my haircuts, how can I convince him to let me go to a salon that understands curly hair, even if it’s a little more expensive?

Cozy: I wish that I would have understood my curly hair when I was a teenager! It would have saved me many hours chained to my blow dryer trying to straighten out my frizzy hair! It’s wonderful to hear that you have embraced your curls! I have a few ideas to help you solve your problems. First, perhaps you can offer to split the cost of the expensive with your parents, using babysitting or allowance money. Maybe your father will respect your choice once he sees how important it is to you that you are willing to spend your own money. Another option is to find another stylist in a less expensive salon. Plenty of stylists know how to cut curly hair. You may find a recommendation by asking a person with great curly hair where they get their haircut! Lastly, perhaps you can go to your curl stylist less often, and fill in at a less expensive salon in between visits.

Q: My daughter is almost 10, and I have noticed in the past year or so that her hair seems go be changing. I would say she has about 2c hair all over, but lately in the root area, it is more like a 3c. Her hair is very kinky, curly and frizzy at the roots and I’m not sure how to deal with it. I am happy with the way she’s looking, but the frizz in the roots is driving both of us crazy. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Cozy: It is quite common for a person’s hair texture to change over the years. You may be right that her is actually changing now. Frizzy hair is caused by the cuticle being unsettled. To prevent this from happening, use a styling aid that will settle the cuticle, such as So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream. It’s perfect for this particular situation because it is light enough that it won’t weigh the hair down too much or make the roots look greasy. A small amount evenly distributed through her hair should do the trick!

Q: My 4.5 yr olds are really curly and have very different curl types. One is a 3a, the other a 3c like her mommy but with much more fragile hair. I can’t seem to find specific recommendations for kids curls by type. I can say that the 3a doesn’t do well with gel, and the 3c needs a little more hold but gel makes her hair a bit stiff. I don’t mind getting different products for them. Any suggestions?

Cozy: It will always be trial and error when dealing with styling products! You may even find that a styling gel from one company may work fine for your daughter’s hair, but from another it’s not right. You should look for a gel that is alcohol-free so it won’t dry out the hair, Try So Cozy Groovy Grape Styling Gel. It’s a light formulation so it won’t make hair look stiff or wet and you can use more or less to suit your style. For finer hair, So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream is great because it won’t weigh down the hair but will help defrizz and control. You can use on wet or dry hair. You may also find that different products will work differently depending on the time of year and the weather.

Q: I have an 8-year-old daughter with beautiful (3b”> curly hair. I recently met a woman who told me about NaturallyCurly.com, and WOW!, I’m so excited. What I’d like to know, and can’t seems to find on the site, is a good regimen for her hair. I’m never really sure how often to shampoo her hair, and or if we should go the no-poo route. Do you think that you could give me advice for proper curly hair treatment?

Cozy: You have definitely come to the right place! You are very smart to start a proper regiment now while she is young. Different people have different philosophies about what type of formulation to use. I recommend using something as gentle as possible, with vitamins and minerals and I suggest staying away from parabens (synthetic preservatives that may be quite harmful”>, like So Cozy products. As for the curly hair regimen, if she has beautiful curly hair already, it sounds like whatever you are doing, you should keep doing! A few tips: never brush curly hair, it causes frizz by ruffling the cuticle, comb out tangles with wide tooth comb while bathing with conditioner in hair, lastly, spray in a leave in conditioner in the morning and “scrunch” hair to reactivate curls. We love So Cozy Fruity Delight.

For more information about buying So Cozy products, visit CurlMart.

Is that Whoopi I See?

By Cozy Friedman · Published June 1, 2009

I have a friend who has the looks, the locks and the lungs of the folk-rock singer Tracy Chapman. My friend so strongly resembles Tracy that she has a hard time convincing people that she isn’t. She decided to write a musical disclaimer and sang it at many of her gigs. She named the tune, “I’m Not Tracy.”

Since I am also often mistaken for someone I am not, I have also decided to issue a similar disclaimer. But since I can’t sing a lick, my statement will be delivered acapella.

It will say: “I’m not Whoopi.”

Whoopi Goldberg

I have worn my hair in locks for more than a decade and in that time I have attracted critical and complimentary reactions. Thanks to Whoopi Goldberg, the straight-talking co-host of The View, my locks have also attracted attention that usually reserved for celebrities.

I get the double takes and the stares. Fingers point in my direction and I overhear excited whispers from people who think they recognize who I am. I’ve grown accustomed to hearing Whoopi’s name shouted at me by passersby. Some do it in jest. Others really believe they have witnessed a celebrity sighting.

I feel like a snob when I ignore their friendly overtures and feel like an imposter when I respond. No one has approached me for an autograph yet but if these incidents of mistaken identity continue to occur, I fear that it won’t be long.

I suppose there are a few commonalities between Whoopi and me that might lend support to the resemblance argument. Unfortunately it has nothing to do with me having similar talent, money and fame.

My similarities to Whoopi has more to do with appearance and style.

We both have relatively round faces and deep mahogany skin. We both wear eyeglasses and have a habit of peering over the rims more than we peer through the lens. And when it comes to fashion preferences, our mutual style of dress could best be described as casual — bordering on casualty —chic.

But the hands-down reason people are quick to cast me as a Whoopi lookalike is the fact that like her, I wear my hair in locks.

Locks have been Whoopi’s signature hairstyle during her more than 30 years as an entertainer. She rocked them in her early days as a standup comedienne, and through her Oscar-winning acting career. She kept them intact during her stint as a regular on Hollywood Squares and is still representing while holding court on The View.

So make no mistake. Whoopi and her locks are the real celebrities.

But for the record, my locks and I stand ready and able to serve as stand-ins if we’re ever needed and if the price is right.

Contact Linda or read her bio.

Kids Curly Hair Q&A: Battling Bed Head

By Cozy Friedman · Published February 1, 2009

Q: My 3-year-old daughter’s hair has really started growing out and curling up more and more. I’m not sure what products are good on kids. It seems like we are stuck in ponytail mode. Her curls tend to get really dry toward the middle/end of the day. We both suffer from massive bed head in the morning even with the satin pillow case. It just sticks to our heads. Any ideas?

Cozy: I often recommend sleeping with a loose pony on top of the head. This helps solve two problems — bedhead and tangles. I would also recommend a good-leave in conditioner for the dried-out hair. You should try So Cozy Fruity Delight spray leave-in conditioner. You can use this in the morning to re-invigorate curls and to keep hair hydrated. This is also a great product to use on the go for touch-ups and for hair re-hydration during the day.

Q: My 9-year-old is really self conscious about her curly hair. She wears her hair the same way every single day because she’s afraid that trying something new will only end in disaster. Right now, she showers in the morning, brushes her hair and puts a headband in it. Then she applies a big helping of hair product. She says it stays really crunchy until about noon, but grows throughout the day until it’s huge and frizzy by the time she gets home from school. Any suggestions to help her feel some sense of control over her curls?

Cozy: All 9-year-old girls are so self-conscious about their hair. It’s so normal. The problem for your daughter is that she hasn’t yet learned the right way to control her hair. The worst thing you can do to curly hair is to brush it! It unsettles the cuticle and actually causes hair to look frizzy and fuzzy. Instead, encourage her to try this regimen. If she tries it on a weekend she’ll have more time to play around with different options and she’ll have no worries about going to school with her new look. Rather than brushing her hair when she comes out of the shower, she should comb out her hair in the shower with a wide-tooth comb with conditioner in it. After the shower, squeeze out excess water and scrunch in an alcohol-free styling Gel (try So Cozy Groovy Grape“>, distributing it evenly around the head. Let the hair dry naturally. Natural curls will settle and hair will not get frizzy. It may take some getting used to, but after a couple of weeks, her hair will settle into its own natural rhythm.

Q: My daughter has 3a, one-length hair. What do you think about bangs and curly hair? She’s ready for a change, and thinks bangs would be fun. But with all her curls and cowlicks, I’m not so sure it’s a good idea.

Cozy: Bangs can be very tricky for curly girls, especially if she has cowlicks too. The bangs shrink up and can be very unpredictable. Rather than jump into bangs, perhaps she should consider a graduated cut on the sides. That is a nice alternative because it frames the face and isn’t so severe.

Q: My 3b daughter wants long hair so badly. Right now, it’s about shoulder length when it’s dry. Is there anything she can do to help speed up the hair growth process? And do you have style suggestions she can wear as she’s waiting for it to grow longer?

Cozy: I never understood this myself, but trimming the hair consistently really does help it to grow faster! Just a slight trim regularly will keep the hair healthy and encourage it to grow faster. As for styles, wearing the sides up is a great in-between option.

< b class="pink">Q: My 3-year-old daughter can’t sleep without waking up looking like a wild animal. So basically, unless we’re willing to wash it the next day or pull it back in a ponytail, it looks like a total mess. Any tips to avoid bed head?

Cozy: I recommend wearing a loose pony to bed. It will keep hair from getting knotty and will help keep it under control, preventing bed head and other “wild” looks. If you still need a little touch-up even after the pony, try a little So Cozy Kooky Kiwi Styling Cream. That will help control and defrizz hair, yet keep it natural-looking, shiny and soft.

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