Search Results: Akshay Joshi

We Need a Hair Care Kit for Foster Kids

Did you know I spent 16 years in the travel business?

I sure did. I spent 16 years as a professional travel agent, traveling the world and making people’s dreams come true. It was a wonderful career and I enjoyed most every minute until the writing on the wall said it was time to do something else. The birth of my third daughter, Morgan, helped me understand that change is good and it was now time to make a change.

For the last couple of years, I have done a little of this and little of that. I have worked in a call center for a hotel chain, served as the director of sales in a hotel, and helped out wherever I can to make a few dollars. Last November, I put on my big girl panties and got serious about finishing my book and organizing our local support group, Parenting Across Color. In one year, I have incorporated the organization, completed the process of becoming a non-profit with tax exempt status from the IRS, completed and now launched the book. Wow. I feel tired just remembering it all. And I wonder, what is next for me?

Ursula Dudley-Oglesby

Ursula Dudley-Oglesby

I am passionate about the cause of African-American children in the foster system, since all 3 of mine came from the system. I feel called to help these kids in any way I can, whether through workshops on being a trans-racial family or identifying needs that are not being met. For instance, what is the one thing a white family will never have on hand when a black child is placed in their home temporarily or permanently? Oil. White people simply do not have a need for oil, or grease, for their heads and will not have an extra bottle under the bathroom sink for the child who arrived in the middle of the night.

For a long time, I have wanted to create a care kit for African-American youth in the foster system. This kit would include the necessary items for proper hair care and would accompany any child being placed in the foster system. I shared this idea with a friend in the Department of Family and Protective Services and then bing, bang, boom—I am sitting across the table from Ursula Dudley-Oglesby, President of Dudley’s Hair Care and Cosmetics, talking about the hair care kits. I found an ally in Ursula, who recognized the immediate hair needs of black youth who have come from homes where they were abused and/or neglected and who may be living in a new home where their hair is not understood.

I have every finger and toe crossed that Dudley’s and the state of Texas will quickly work out a deal to meet the needs of these kiddos, any of one whom could easily have been mine. I am a firm believer that when we look good, we feel good and when we feel good, we do good. Let’s see what happens when we make some children feel good.

Curly Hair Q&A: Shari Harbinger

Q: I’m a swimmer all year ’round and my hair feels like straw….I use lots of conditioner and try my best to make it work, but it doesn’t. Are there any products to help stop the breaking and restore my lovely locks? Also, my hair falls out a lot in the shower and I think its because of the pool. Any suggestions?

A: For starters, get off of conventional shampoo and clarifying products. They dehydrate the hair, causing breakage and split ends with a straw-like feel. Start using 100% sulfate-free DevaCurl No-Poo cleanser. The botanically infused ingredients, along with its balanced pH, will keep your hydration level in check. First, I suggest wetting your hair in the locker room shower. Then, add DevaCurl One Condition to towel-dried hair before putting on the cap. I suggest a lycra cap followed by a latex cap to protect any chlorinated water from penetrating your hair. Deva is water soluble and there is never any need to clarify!

Q: I started a shampoo free routine 2 weeks ago. My problem is that by day two my head itches really bad and starts flaking. Is that normal?

A: You may not be rinsing thoroughly. Make sure when you use DevaCurl No-Poo, you follow with One Condition and only Deva stylers. If you are using synthetically derived products other than Deva on your hair, this may be casuing a reaction. Vigorously scrub and agitate the scalp with your fingertips in a circular massaging motion while cleansing with DevaCurl No-Poo. Friction is what cleans the hair and moves dirt particles.

Q: Does mousse dry out curly hair really bad? Because I use it every day!

A: Mousse is extremely dehydrating and is detrimental to curly hair, which needs moisture. Stop using it immediately. Most mousses contain plastics, which further dehydrate and suffocate the hair. It sounds as if you desire curl volume. Try B’Leave-In , curl volumizer or Set Up & Above. They are moisturizing and plastic-free!

Q: I’m a teenage girl. I had very curly hair — it almost looked like a afroish, and now it’s getting straighter and straighter. What do I do? I have to put a lot of mousse and gel to get it curly. I don’t want straight hair.

A: Your curl’s “spring factor” is a direct response to moisture! Mousse removes moisture from the hair and can sometimes give it a limp, sedated appearance. I suggest using cleansing and moisturizing using DevaCurl No-Poo followed by Heaven In Hair deep treatment to restore the moisture. Use once or twice weekly on towel dried hair under a plastic cap, with or without heat. When rinsing, leave some conditioner in the hair. These products are water soluble and have zero build-up. You will be amazed at how the curls begin to bounce again! Then, finish with Set It Free moisture lock and watch your curls come back to life!

Common Curly Salon Disasters—and How to Avoid Them!
salon disasters

A trip to a salon can end in a disaster if you’re not prepared.

Even the most heinous haircut seems to at least start with hope and a smile. But then comes the moment when excitement turns to dread. You know something is wrong, and you want to speak up, scream, run! But you don’t, or can’t, or won’t. You feel invisibly chained to the stylist’s chair as the nightmare continues on auto-pilot, until it’s finally over. Why put yourself through the tress torture?

Here, we learn from curlies who endured the most common (yet disastrous”> salon snafus. Find out what they learned from their mane mistakes — and how they made a curly comeback.

SALON SNAFU: You emerge with the dreaded pyramid

Like many curlies, Susan Rizk has long been on the receiving end of nightmarish haircuts. “My hair has been teased and blow-dried upside down,” says Rizk of Salem, New Hampshire.

Her worst curl-crushing cut unfolded at an upscale salon five summers ago. Although she told the stylist that she had no interest in looking like a poodle, her curls were sheared into a poofy pyramid that “made my round face look rounder,” Rizk says. Shocked and speechless, she left in tears.

Looking back, Rizk doesn’t recall any red flags that would have warned her of the disastrous ‘do. The salon was even highly recommended by her sister, although she has a “borderline straight” texture. (I can hear you now: “There’s the red flag!””>

Lesson Learned: Rizk is now “extremely specific” with stylists about what she wants, and offers a thorough disclaimer before the first snip.

“I’ve had bad experiences in the past. I just want to shape my curls,” Rizk tells them now. “I don’t want pyramid hair, and please don’t cut more than a few millimeters off the longest layers.”

Silver Lining: She eventually found a stylist who is “curl-friendly,” who doesn’t suggest blowouts or ask if she wants to “smooth” her hair.

“That term is so irritating,” says Rizk, noting that her new stylist is a good listener and provides a great cut. As for styling? Well, that’s a different story.

“I feel like curls are very picky about how you can style them, and what works for you doesn’t work for me, not even a little bit,” she says, “(But”> as long as I get a good cut, I’m happy.”

SALON SNAFU: You fall for a bait and switch

salon disaster

Sherri, after her disastrous hair cut.

Back in April, Sherri K. of Newark, Calif., thought she found a stylist who knew how to cut curly hair. After all, she just needed a trim.

“He said he understood the concept of the Deva cut (the Devachan Salon method of tailoring a dry cut based on individual curls”> . . . and he would cut my hair dry,” she says.

But the cut didn’t resemble any Deva cut that Sherri had ever received. This stylist — who also had curly hair, but had it blown out that day — combed her curls with a fine-toothed comb and a silicone-based shine serum, before cutting them.

“I had no idea what he was using (at the time”>,” Sherri recalls. “I thought it was a conditioner.”

When it was all over, nearly six inches of curls — gone! What was left? Stacked layers, resembling a misshapen bob.

“I went from a great Deva cut that just needed a little trim to a butchered head of frizzy, stacked, ugly hair,” she says.

After sharing her mishap with the curly-haired manager, who was also a stylist, she fixed the shape of the cut. Still, it was too short and only time could fix that.

Lesson Learned: Sherri realizes she should have spoken up the moment the stylist tugged at her curls with a fine-toothed comb.

“I should have yelled, ‘STOP!’ and left,” she says.

But she also learned it’s really just hair, and it does grow back. “It’s not the end of the world, even though it may feel like it at the time,” she says.

Silver Lining: After a few months, Sherri again went back to the salon manager for another trim in July. This time she emerged triumphant.

“I am happy with her as a stylist, but I will never let the other guy touch my hair!” Sherri says.

SALON SNAFU: Your stylist dismisses new ideas and methods

When Jennifer McKevitt of Chardon, Ohio, started reading the “Curly Girl Handbook,” she excitedly approached her stylist of nearly 10 years, suggesting they try some of the book’s cutting methods. The know-it-all stylist dismissed McKevitt, and continued to cut the way she always had, throwing in a few snarky remarks: “No one has perfect curls, especially you,” and finally, “Do I tell you how to do your job?” Ouch!

She knew the stylist was opinionated, but her strong comments were usually cushioned with humor. This time, she had gone too far, and McKevitt would not be dissuaded from trying something new. A few weeks later, she found another stylist who was trained in the method McKevitt wanted to explore. The new stylist reshaped her curls and encouraged her to grow out the canopy for better curl definition.

“She even kneeled beside me, letting me practice clipping along her part, in order to teach me how to get that much sought-after hairline volume,” McKevitt says.

Lesson Learned: After years of conceding to a squawky stylist, McKevitt now holds her ground in a stylist’s chair. She’s “absolutely clear” about what she wants and will leave (albeit, politely”> if the stylist refuses.

“I could have saved myself a lot of time and distress had I done that with my former stylist,” she says. “It was a pricey lesson, both economically and personally.”

Silver Lining: As her hair grew, and her curls grew more defined, McKevitt became happier than ever with her curly hair — and her new stylist. And when she ran into her former stylist around town? The snippety one, who supposedly had all the answers, actually had a few questions for a change: “Are you using a curling iron? Why is your hair so curly? Did you get a perm?” McKevitt offered simply, with a smile, “I went with that “Curly Girl” method I tried to tell you about.”

SALON SNAFU: You’re in a rush, and your curls pay the price

Nicole Cossman

Nicole Cossman today.

Nicole Cossman usually turns to her mom, who’s a stylist, to care for her curls. But last April, Cossman found herself in a jam. She desperately needed a cut, but her mom was too busy. She decided to visit a reasonably priced chain salon instead. After all, she only needed a trim. How bad could it be? (Oh, it could be bad, real bad!”>

“The woman who cut my hair complained the entire time about the tangles, the length, how it hurt her arms, and how hard it was to cut,” says Cossman, of Tamarac, Fla. “I was horrified, and embarrassed by it. She also tried to thin out my hair, which has never been good for me.”

With her curly tendrils in tatters, Cossman was devastated, but didn’t complain to the stylist. She just never went back.

Lesson Learned: Cossman is much more cautious now when choosing a salon. She conducts research and asks a lot of questions. “I have learned a lot about caring for my hair at NaturallyCurly.com, and that’s where I get my information,” she says.

Silver Lining: After perusing the stylist reviews on NaturallyCurly.com, Cossman finally found a curl-centric stylist in her area that she likes.

“She was very easy-going and didn’t flip out when she saw all of the curls, and very thick hair, so I knew she was a patient stylist,” Cossman says.

SALON SNAFU: You ask a new stylist to duplicate a previous cut

Nina Mulder salon disaster

Nina Mulder, today.

At home for her college summer break a few years ago, Nina Mulder got a great curly cut. But when she returned to school in the fall, she wanted to find a salon nearby to maintain it.

After corralling a few recommendations, she took a chance on a stylist, who Mulder says did “an acceptable job.” So, when it was time for another cut, right before graduation, she went back to the stylist. This time, though, it was for more than just a little maintenance.

“Big mistake,” says Mulder, who wanted the same “super cute” cut that she originally received from her hometown stylist. The problem? It was a style that hairdresser had “sort of made up as she went along.” (Read: impossible to duplicate!”>

“It was kind of an inverted bob with a wedge in the back,” says Mulder of Denver, Colo.. “But when my new stylist tried to give me the same cut, she didn’t really understand what I wanted.”

The result was a wedge that it resembled a buzz cut. “I told her that I thought the back was too short,” Mulder says. “She did offer to trim up the rest to blend it, but I was afraid it would look worse.”

Lesson Learned: “Just because I get a good cut from a stylist once, it doesn’t mean they’ll deliver every time,” Mulder says. “You need to be specific about what you do and don’t want EVERY time you get it cut.”

Silver Lining: While researching salons, Mulder found one that specializes in curly hair and also offered a link to NaturallyCurly.com on the salon’s website. There were positive reviews from fellow curlies, so she went for a cut in July.

“Before anything, we talked about my hair and the problems I was having, the past experiences with stylists — what styles may or may not work out for me,” Mulder says. “I now love my hair for the first time in a long time. My curly friends are jealous!”

SALON SNAFU: You try a chemical process that ends in a calamity

Laura Harris salon disaster

Laura Harris’ hair after the treatment that left her hair a frizzy mess.

Last year was an emotionally draining one for New Jersey curly girl Laura Harris. She was navigating an awful breakup with a boyfriend, and her job wasn’t any great shakes, either. She craved something to smile about, to look forward to. So when her stylist suggested what he called a “curl-reducer” chemical process that promised to zap frizz, she thought it would be the perk she needed to boost her spirits.

“Not as dramatic as a Japanese straighter, I was told it would keep the curl but just reduce the frizz,” says Harris of Maplewood, NJ, noting that the product has since been discontinued. “It did the opposite. My hair looked totally fried.”

The only option to improve it? Cut it off. Harris had to shear six inches, leaving her still-frizzy locks barely gracing her chin.

“The only thing I could do was blow it straight,” Harris said. “So my long, beautiful curls turned into a short, frizzy, uber-ugly head of hair.”

Adding hair extensions hid some of the damage that would ultimately take more than a year to recover.

“Obviously, I can’t place all the blame on my stylist,” Harris acknowledges. “I made an incredibly stupid decision.”

Lesson Learned: Many mistakes are simply epiphanies in disguise. For Harris, this dragged-out, harrowing experience led her to love her curls. “I’m also much less concerned about the stylist’s feelings and much more open about what I want,” she says.

Silver Lining: After a growing-out process that spanned a year and a half, she now embraces every textured tendril.

“I just got the extensions removed and cut off the fried hair,” Harris says. “It’s shorter than my hair has ever been in my life, but I love the way the curls look now — so shiny and healthy!”

The Mane Manual to Curl Philosophies

The options seem endless. Do you shampoo or use a sulfate-free cleanser? Should your curls be cut wet or dry? Should you forego the flat iron forever? Confused yet?

There are several philosophies to consider when caring for your curls.

Rest easy — we cut through the clutter and gathered the top experts in the curly world for their bottom-line stance on cutting, cleansing and styling.

These curl experts have invested decades studying and styling curly hair. Their life’s mission revolves around curls! Although their approaches may differ, their goal is the same: creating gorgeous, healthy curls for their clients.


CURL EXPERT: Shari Harbinger, partner of Lorraine Massey of New York’s Devachan Salon

CUT: When stylists at Devachan Salon prep for a curly cut, they know to trust their intuitive eye and their visual eye.

“You can’t really understand that if the hair is wet because you’re not seeing the hair as you wear it, in its natural form, which is dry,” says Shari Harbinger, who emphasizes that curls should be cut only when the hair is dry.

When curlies make an appointment at Devachan, they’re asked to stop shampooing their curly locks one to two weeks before their cut, although daily conditioning is recommended. When they step into the stylist’s chair, clients are required to arrive with their hair dry and in its natural state, uncombed and without any products in it at all.

“We look at the face shape, the hair, the curl type, the hydration level, and all those factors will determine where we cut, and how much we cut,” Harbinger adds.

The only tools in a Devachan curly cut are scissors and the stylist’s hands — no combs or brushes.

“Combs aren’t necessary because you’re then stretching the curl out of its natural form, which defeats the whole purpose of cutting curly hair in its natural order,” she says.

CLEANSE & CONDITION: Curly hair can’t get enough moisture, and Harbinger says sulfates in shampoos add to the dehydration of curly locks.

“The philosophy is to remove the sulfates from the product, which are the harsh, lathering and dehydrating ingredients found in 99 percent of the conventional shampoo on the market,” says Harbinger, noting DevaCurl’s product line includes No-Poo, a sulfate-free botanical cleanser. “Just by virtue of eliminating those sulfates and replacing them with botanically derived ingredients, the hair responds immediately.”

If curls are extremely dehydrated, she recommends conditioning every day. For a deeper treatment, Harbinger recommends leaving in the daily conditioner for a half hour to intensify the hydration.

“But you can cleanse every other day because our styling products have nothing synthetic in them to cause buildup or to make the hair feel dirty,” Harbinger says.

STYLE: The styling process begins the moment you’ve stepped out of the shower, Harbinger says.

“Gently tilt your head over, in an upside down position, and squeeze the excess water out of the hair with paper towels or a cotton t-shirt in an upward scrunching motion,” Harbinger says. “Regular towels cause friction and cause the cuticle of curly hair to fray and appear frizzy. They also absorb too much water out of the hair. For the best curl definition, you want to remove just enough water to release the curl of its own water weight and that’s best done by using a paper towel.”

Once you’ve applied a leave-in conditioner and/or gel, then gently bring your head and hair to an upright position and gently shake the curls.

“Wherever they lay, they shall stay,” says Harbinger, who recommends adding clips to the crown for additional lift. “Do not touch the curls when they’re drying because that can create frizz and cause the curl to lose its formation.”

As for flat irons, Harbinger views them as a “death sentence for all hair.”

“Every time you flat iron or ‘blow fry’ the hair, you’re one step further away from your curls being the best they can be,” Harbinger explains. “You’re compromising the elasticity of the curl. The curls will never be as authentic as they can be if they’re in a push-me, pull-me cycle or back and forth.”

Harbinger emphasizes that curly hair is not a trend, it’s a lifestyle.

“If we understand what we have and how to work with it, we can learn to embrace and love our curls,” she says.


CURL EXPERT: Christo, Artistic Director of New York’s Christo Fifth Avenue Salon

CUT: Christo has always believed curly hair should be cut wet.

“Curly hair, when you cut it dry, won’t have the freedom of style,” Christo says. “You may wear your hair curly 90 percent of the time, but maybe the other 10 percent, you want to wear your hair in glamorous waves or you want to blow it straight. I think you should have that option.”

Your textured mane should only be combed (wide-tooth comb only!”> when it’s wet and then allowed to bounce back, according to Christo. “That way you can see how the curl is going to bounce, and then you cut accordingly,” he explains. “If the hair is dry, how is it going to bounce? It doesn’t.”

Since there may be many textures on one curly head, Christo may choose to texturize tresses using regular scissors, channel scissors or a double-blade razor on wavy, coarse hair.

“Some people have wavy hair on the bottom, while it’s curly on the top, so you can texturize the bottom in long angle layers, but you have to know to know what you’re doing,” Christo says. “You want the waves to lock into each other — not become bushy and frizzy.”

After the hair is cut and then dried with a diffuser, Christo may make a few touch-up snips on a dry mane, but without combing the hair or disturbing the curl.

CLEANSE & CONDITION: Christo emphasizes that life is about balance — and he applies that philosophy to curly hair. As an advocate of shampoo, Christo views sulfates in shampoo as simply one cleansing component, balanced with other nourishing ingredients, such as proteins and amino acids.

“I think your hair needs shampoo once or twice a week,” Christo says. “The reason is this: It’s not only to remove the buildup that you get from products, etc. There’s also the buildup you get from the environment, which is so dirty.”

He’s also a firm believer in deep conditioners, and recommends feeding your curls with a conditioning treatment or mask once a week — or twice a week, if you color your curls.

STYLE: To style curly locks, Christo divides the hair in four or five sections.

“If you want to make it easy, clip each section so it’s not in your way,” he says. “Then, take one section at a time, and apply the lotion or gel according to your texture. Then, run your fingers through your hair, shake it a little bit or scrunch it to get the curl to bounce back.”

If you want to smooth it with a flat iron for a different look, Christo warns curlies not to overdo it.

“Use it with balance, once in a while,” he says. “If you use the flat iron once a month it will not damage your hair, but if you use it two or three times a week, that doesn’t work.”

And if you have a daily addiction to the iron, Christo says there’s no way to avoid damaging your hair, no matter how much you condition it.


CURL EXPERT: Jonathan Torch, Toronto’s Curly Hair Institute

CUT: Jonathan Torch studies curly hair when it’s dry to look at the direction the hair grows, but he always cuts hair when it’s wet.

“That way I can see the grouping of the curls and the way the curls bounce,” Torch says. “We look at the individual curls and choose the size of the curl. In order to make a ringlet, the hair has to rotate 2.5 times, otherwise you get wings.”

Since every curly head has more than one curl pattern, Torch recommends against traditional layers for curly hair.

“Even layers do not work in curly hair,” Torch says. “We have developed a technique called curly layers, and it’s all about creating unevenness, breaking it up.”

If you’re looking for height, volume or bounce, Torch suggests telling your stylist exactly that.

“You have to change your terminology. If you want volume, say you want volume. Don’t say you want layers because you’re going to be upset with the result,” Torch warns.

CLEANSE & CONDITION: Cleansing your curls with shampoo is an important step to maintaining healthy hair, according to Torch, whose shampoos contain sulfates, along with silk amino acids.

“We chose silk amino acids as our moisturizing protein because it has the tiniest molecule,” Torch says. “The size of the molecule is essential, because the smaller the molecule the deeper the penetration of absorption. The most important thing is getting that moisture molecule inside the hair.”

When conditioning your curls, he says it’s not as simple as “laying it on thick.”

“Just because a conditioner is thicker in consistency doesn’t make it a better-performing product,” Torch explains. “People like the heaviness because they feel it’s actually going to be doing something, but in reality, it may be only cosmetic.”

How a conditioner performs depends on its ability to penetrate and help the hair hold onto the moisture, according to Torch.

“Naturally curly hair repels moisture, so how do you condition hair that is repelling moisture? Our conditioners have pH levels of 3.5 to 4 — that’s extremely low. The lower the pH, the more you’re going to close the cuticle,” Torch says. “Our products deposit generous amounts of silk amino acids and panthenol.”

STYLE: Even if you have healthy hair and a great curly cut, you won’t truly embrace your curls until you master the styling process. The key to achieving a successful style, Torch says, is not how well you dry your hair. It’s how well you prepare your hair before it dries.

“You have to start off with tangle-free hair, and the more hair you group in an individual ringlet the looser the curls,” Torch explains. “If you want your hair off your face, you have to get it back off your face from the roots. If you can get the roots going in a certain direction then you can get successful hair. Allowing the cuticle to dry on its own will guarantee frizz-free hairstyles.”

CURL EXPERT: Ouidad, author of CurlTalk, owner of New York’s Ouidad Salon, the Curl Education Center

CUT: Using her “Carve-and-Slice” method, Ouidad always cuts curly hair when it’s wet.

“Curly hair doesn’t dry the same, so it’s very difficult to cut it dry. You need to know the curvature of the curl in its natural state,” Ouidad says.

The Carve-and-Slice cut is a process that follows the curvature of the curl, and Ouidad says it allows the curls to puzzle into each other so they don’t expand.

“I section the pieces and shake the curls between my fingers so I can see the wave pattern and the curvature of the curl,” she explains.

CLEANSE & CONDITION: Ouidad believes shampoo (including sulfates”> is “essential” for healthy hair.

“It’s very important to shampoo twice a week and apply conditioner daily, starting about two inches from the root so you’re not blocking the pores of the scalp,” she says.

Although Ouidad warns against shampooing too frequently, she emphasizes the importance of cleansing the oils from the scalp to allow the hair follicle to breathe.

“My philosophy is to work from the inside out — not topically” Ouidad says. “The idea is to rebuild the internal layer by connecting your internal molecular layer with protein, amino acid and sulfur — that’s what my deep treatments are made of. The idea is to feed the curls by using deep treatments on a regular basis. They’re essential to have successful curly hair. Curly hair can’t live without deep treatments, it just doesn’t work.”

And don’t forget that leave-in conditioner before you start styling, she adds.

STYLE: When it comes to styling, Ouidad believes that less is more.

“The less you handle and manipulate your curl, the more successful you’ll be with your hair,” she explains.

Use only water-soluble styling products, and skip the oils, waxes and silicones that boost buildup, Ouidad says.

When applying gel or styling lotion, she follows her “shake and rake” technique, which uses your fingers to “rake” through the hair, and then “shake” the curl pattern back into place.

“Section the hair starting in the nape area and use a quarter-size of gel, rubbing the palms together,” Ouidad explains. “Separate the fingers and run them through the hair. The more hair between your fingers, the looser the curl will be. Then, hold it at the bottom and just shake it.”

To add some lift to the crown, she suggests sliding a few duckbill clips at the roots, allowing the curls to cascade down freely and dry naturally.