Curlies everywhere have had enough of Patti Stanger and her anti-curl attitude. This season, the star of Bravo’s TV series “The Millionaire Matchmaker” continues her theme that women need to straighten their curls to land a millionaire.
Stanger was quoted in Sunday’s New York Times as saying, “ ‘Today’s going to be tough love with her,’ Stanger said (about a client”>. ‘She needs to straighten her hair, for one. She can’t get arrested with her rat’s nest.’
“When the client arrived, she perched on one of the…chairs to wait while Ms. Stanger gave a phone interview. Dressed in flared jeans and brown wedge shoes, the client projected a ’70s vibe, enhanced by her hair, a mass of wild dirty-blond curls, and undermined by her French-manicured toenails. After a testy exchange about her hair — ‘Is it working for you, the curly hair?’ Ms. Stanger queried.”
Check out our other curly dating stories: Curly vs. Straight: Which Do Men Prefer? and Dating Dilemma: He Hates My Curls!
We could not disagree more. Stanger’s attitude goes against everything we at NaturallyCurly, as well as the curly community as a whole, have worked so hard to change. Stanger appears to be living in a time warp where only one standard of beauty exists: the Barbie Doll. In today’s multicultural world, women are celebrated for their own unique beauty—whether it be straight, wavy or super kinky. Just look at stars like Beyonce, Shakira and Annalynn McCord.
She has a weekly platform where she could encourage women to accept and embrace their natural beauty, yet she chooses instead to fuel insecurities and spread a notion that you can only be attractive with smooth, straight hair.
If a woman chooses to go for a straighter smoother look because she wants a change, we support her. People should have options. What we don’t support is doing it because you think it’s the only way to get rich man to love you – the message Stanger sends loud and clear at every opportunity. What if she told women they had to change the shade of their skin or the color of their eyes to get a man? Why is okay to tell curlies they have to straighten their locks to find love?
Check out what others have to say about dating and curls: Is Curly Hair Intimidating?
We say, shut up already!
Other notable quotes from Stanger on her anti-curl philosophy:
Patti Stanger told Los Angeles’s Jewish Journal, “If you want to keep it curly, go to Israel.”
From her book, “Become Your Own Matchmaker, 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate:
“Men appreciate hair they can run their fingers through—and they don’t want to get them snagged in scraggly, frizzy, pubic-looking bird’s nests. The era of the perm is over, ladies. Wavy hair is fine, but a hair ball is definitely not a man magnet. The money you spend straightening and conditioning your hair might be the best, most profitable investment you’ll ever make.”
“And one more thing: I know I sound like a broken record, but if you have curly or wavy hair, get it blown out straight and silk for your photo shoot. It’s worth paying the money once a year to get it thermal reconditioned, also known as Japanese straightening.”
Initial response to Stanger’s inflammatory curl views already are drawing a strong reaction from NaturallyCurly’s community:
“Judging from Patti’s personal track record, I think it’s safe to say that she doesn’t have a clue about what men want!”
“I’m Black and my husband is White. When I cut my hair and decided to go natural he was behind me 100%, every time I feel like giving up and relaxing he gets upset.”
Read more about Patti Sanger’s anti-curl rants here and here. Also check out our Facebook campaign!
“I want a man to want me; not chemicals or a hairdryer.”
“I have PLENTY of men who tell me how beautiful my curly hair is! They’re always quick to say how they love natural women, and how my hair makes me look exotic. Its a definite conversation starter.”
“I turn more heads with curly hair then I did when I was relaxed so I disagree!”
“My husband HATES when I wear it straight…he actually gets upset cause he likes my curls sooo much!!! So, I hardly ever wear it straight anymore.”
“Well, MY man loves my kinky curls and prefers natural hair over straightened hair.”
Join our Facebook Group “No More Curl Bashing” to support our campaign to encourage society to stop bashing curls. And share your own stories about finding love with curls and kinks at a
press@naturallycurly.com.
Also please help us stop curl bashing on Twitter with the hash tag:#NOCMOREURLBASHING