What Age Should a Child Do Their Own Hair?

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By Sabrina Perkins · Updated June 28, 2015

Caring for naturally curly hair has become an acquired routine for many women with textured hair, because our own mothers groomed our hair when we were children. By the time we were caring for our own hair many of us had relaxers. Our mothers teach us the fine art of grooming in all areas, but when it comes to hair it is truly a preference. Our mother’s preferences can become our own, and as we grow we are forever influenced by her decisions.

I had my own challenges with my own daughter, Megan, who is now 20. Megan begged for a relaxer when she was in first grade because she wanted straight hair like everyone else. I caved and later regretted that decision. She turned her back on chemicals soon after, because at the time I was at the salon weekly or bi-weekly with her in tow and she despised the blow-dryer. So, at the tender age of 9 my daughter had the big chop and was growing out her perm. I maintained her hair until she became mature enough to do it herself at 12 years old. With more women deciding to not heat or chemically straighten their daughters’ hair, we often receive questions inquiring when a child should start self-grooming?

What age is the right age for self-grooming?

According to pediatrician Dr. Carrie M. Brown, there is no right age and it should be a natural progression for the child to show an interest in doing it. She must learn how to not only manage the tools necessary like a brush and comb but also how to successfully detangle, because over time the hair will become damaged if not properly maintained.

If you think it is hard for us as adults to care for our hair, then you can imagine how difficult it can be for our daughters, so to make the process easier here are a few tips.

Find dolls with hair like your daughters hair

This is easier to do now that we have a wider range of more diverse dolls on the market than when we were children. You may have to search online or just take a trip to your local toy store. When combing your daughter’s hair, encourager her to do the same with the doll’s hair. She may show interest around 6 to 8 years old.

Find example videos

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Watching a mother-daughter hair videos on YouTube is a great way (and one of the only ways”> to see a demonstration of children washing and styling their own hair. We recommend these:

9 year old Washes and Styles Natural Hair Herself

DiscoveringNatural shares her daughter’s first time co-washing her own hair. This video is great for any little girl who wants to learn. I love the first tip she offers: making a list! She does an amazing job and this video is perfect for showing it can be done with the right tools, planning, and help.

5 Quick Curly Hairstyles for School

Daniela Zapata shares five simple styles she wears to school that will be easy for your little girl to create. They are little girl-friendly and stylish. The only thing I would alter is adding a heat protectant for her bangs when she flat irons them. We want our little girls to have good foundations on heat usage.

Let her know you are with her all the way

This does not have to be an all or nothing pursuit. You do not have to hand the torch off to her and let her find her own way. You can guide her, assist her, and even take over if things are not quite going as planned. Nothing is etched in stone and you can use a timeline that works for you both.

Why Your Curls Lose Definition and How to Fix It

Learn how get the spring and bounce back into your curl pattern.

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Why Your Curls Lose Definition and How to Fix It

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By Jessica DeFino · Updated December 25, 2024

In most cases, “loosening up” is a positive thing; it’s associated with relaxing, letting go, and having a good time. But when my curls decide to loosen up, it’s a whole different story.

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Image Source: @keilanihair

No matter what kind of wavy, coily, or curly you are, you can probably relate: curls that start out bouncy and fresh in the morning sometimes deflate, like a tire losing air, until they’re stretched, flat, and frizzy. But why?

“Curls have a mind of their own,” says Tara Love, the founder of Tara Love Hair, a salon that caters to African-American and multicultural women. “They are very unpredictable because you never know what they will do from one day to the next.”

Gravity

“Maybe the reason why curls fall or get looser is because of gravity,” she speculates. “The hair can also be heavy, as in high-density hair with thick strands. Fine, short hairs tend to curl tighter and experience no real gravity pull.”

If your hair is thick and dense, gravity is likely to blame for your stretched curls—and it’s not easy to fight a force of nature. That being said, you can make your hair less susceptible to the effects of gravity by using lightweight products that won’t weigh you down further. “For curly styles that you want to stay in place, leave-ins and oils are needed,” Love shares.

“I love an old staple called Infusium 23,” she adds. “It’s light and controls frizz. If you need a little oil, I love Jane Carter Nourish and Shine. It’s great for hair and body. Rub a bit in the palm and apply.”

It’s also a good idea to switch out your hard-hold gel for a light cream to keep curls buoyant. CurlTalk member @oh.hi.its.steph recommends SheaMoisture Curl Milk: “I find it to be perfectly moisturizing and curl-enhancing, but not terribly heavy either!”

Porosity

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https://www.tiktok.com/@briaelly.curly/video/7335937593240079649?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7319876376193680927

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High-porosity curls and waves are more likely to loosen throughout the day than low-porosity curls. That’s because high-porosity hair has large gaps and holes in the cuticle, making it very easy for the hair to lose moisture; and when moisture evaporates from high-porosity hair, it renders products less effective—which results in loose, frizzy curls.

“If you’re highly porous you might be in need of protein,” says this CurlTalk commenter. A silk protein treatment can help repair the gaps in your hair cuticles to keep your curls intact.

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Since highly porous hair loses moisture easily, it’s essential to stock up on ultra-hydrating products, like leave-in conditioners and sealers. You can also add anti-humectants to your hair care routine, like Ouidad Climate Control Heat and Humidity Gel, to seal the cuticle and keep moisture in. At night, try a heavy hair butter treatment—Mizani Strength Fusion Intense Night-Time Treatment is a great option—to lock in hydration and prep your curls for a new day.

The Amount of Hair You Have

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In one recent study, physicists studying the curvature of steel rods stumbled upon some interesting findings, namely, what makes curly hair go limp. Their conclusion? “The actual number of hairs per square inch on any individual’s scalp…that greater or lesser crowding may play a role,” according to Time Magazine. In other words, if you’ve got a lot of hair, your individual strands may just be too crowded to stay curly all day.

If this is the case for you, there are two things you can do:

One, incorporate a hard-hold gel into your routine to give you the all-day definition. After smoothing Carol’s Daughter Coco Creme Curl Shaping Cream Gel through your hair, twirl individual pieces around your finger to create a defined curl pattern and diffuse dry.